How to become better at being a woman?

[apolloidolsice]

so basically what you are saying is. You asked us a question which we answered. but since you did not like our answers (no matter how true they were) you are asking us again until you find an answer you like. Seems to me you would be better of thinking of an answer yourself

nope, I just wanted a guide on how to be a woman instead of a lecture you'd get from a 90s sitcom. If you wanna be butchy that's great, but some of us like the idea of fitting in.

 

[Kalinychta]

Because i need a guide to become acceptable since I've never been acceptable

Okay. In addition to stop being loud and starting to wear make
up and use skin care products, here are some other suggestions: get some high heels, do yoga, obsess about every calorie you eat every day, get a Brazilian, paint your toenails, get your hair done a lot, exfoliate.

 

[kenaij]

I’ll keep it extremely easy then. Stop searching. There is no one size fits all guide. and no one will be able to provide you one. Some Peuple will just never fit in. Because to fit in they have to become Someone else. And people generally pick up on fakers really quickly. And Will cast you out. Lots of energy spend, zero results achieved

 

[Rodafina]

Sounds like you are frustrated, but only want palatable advice. Perhaps your frustration comes from asking the wrong questions.

The only thing woman means to you is having female genitalia and “taking on the nurturing role in relation to others?”

We are trying to help you adapt your thinking. Help was offered with genuine care. Meeting it with insults and animosity is not very kind.

 

[apolloidolsice]

Sounds like you are frustrated, but only want palatable advice. Perhaps your frustration comes from asking the wrong questions.

The only thing woman means to you is having female genitalia and “taking on the nurturing role in relation to others?”

We are trying to help you adapt your thinking. Help was offered with genuine care. Meeting it with insults and animosity is not very kind.

I didn't ask for feminist lectures, I asked to learn to survive in the world. I don't like being stared at and have been bullied my whole life for being so grossly butch. If I asked, "How do I accept being a tomboy?" I'd get the "wuv yourself uwu" replies but I didn't ask that.

 

[Kalinychta]

I didn't ask for feminist lectures, I asked to learn to survive in the world. I don't like being stared at and have been bullied my whole life for being so grossly butch. If I asked, "How do I accept being a tomboy?" I'd get the "wuv yourself uwu" replies but I didn't ask that.

Did you see my suggestions?

 

[apolloidolsice]

Did you see my suggestions?

i did. thanks

 

[Rodafina]

I didn't ask for feminist lectures, I asked to learn to survive in the world. I don't like being stared at and have been bullied my whole life for being so grossly butchy. If I asked, "How do I accept being a tomboy?" I'd get the "wuv yourself uwu" replies but I didn't ask that.

Yes, I hear you that you did not like the advice and you are frustrated.

 

[Kalinychta]

i did. thanks

Are they helpful?

 

[Aspychata]

I don't know, needing a man to feel complete as a woman? Throwing this out there, but l want a last request before people target me. Lol

 

[apolloidolsice]

Yes, I hear you that you did not like the advice and you are frustrated.

not all of us enjoy being butch and tomboyish since it has intense social consequences. I don't wanna act like you think the world is nice and accepts people like me. Why can't I be allowed to want to be normal? when did that become wrong?

 

[apolloidolsice]

Are they helpful?

yeah.

 

[LadyS]

I guess l want to dip my big toe into the tank filled with piranhas and ask you, please tell me your definition of being a woman. So that everybody can get to it quicker.

Agree. It seems you've already answered your own question. According to you, to be a better woman who is socially accepted means to wear makeup and do skincare, become thinner (to be an acceptable as a tomboy), be more soft-spoken and nurturing (take care of others before yourself), etc. Basically do all the old-school traditional stuff (which by the way is well on its way out as previously stated but according to you is not acceptable). Essentially put on a mask, and fake it.

Just do those things if you think that's what makes you a better woman. Otherwise people usually come here to essentially "undo" all those things and learn to just accept themselves for who they are. So maybe in the wrong place? I dunno.

 

[apolloidolsice]

Agree. It seems you've already answered your own question. According to you, to be a better woman who is socially accepted means to wear makeup and do skincare, become thinner (to be an acceptable as a tomboy), be more nurturing (take care of others before yourself), etc. Basically do all the old-school traditional stuff (which by the way is well on its way out as previously stated but according to you is not acceptable). Essentially put on a mask, and fake it.

Just do those things if you think that's what makes you a better woman. Otherwise people usually come here to essentially "undo" all those things and learn to just accept themselves for who they are. So maybe in the wrong place? I dunno.

my butchy/tomboyishness is connected to my autism. i thought i'd get other autistic women/afabs who've learned to over come their autistic style of womanhood and could give me advice on how to do that too.

 

[Kalinychta]

I don't know, needing a man to feel complete as a woman? Throwing this out there, but l want a last request before people target me. Lol

Yeah that’s a big one. Also learn to cook and be okay with having a full-time job in addition to being responsible for the majority of housework and childcare.

Feel tremendous guilt after eating anything over 300 calories. Pluck your eyebrows. Get pedicures. Watch romantic comedies.

 

[Kalinychta]

Wear dresses. Try out different hairstyles.

 

[Rodafina]

not all of us enjoy being butchy and tomboyish since it has intense social consequences. I don't wanna act like you think the world is nice and accepts people like me. Why can't I be allowed to want to be normal? when did that become wrong?

It’s interesting that you interpret advice as a lecture. I wonder why.

Normal is subjective, thus varying in its definition. If you want a very specific answer, you will need to ask more specific questions.

 

[MildredHubble]

I don't think there's any such thing as a "typical woman". I think you need to decide what it means to you as others have said. There are lots of very "butch" women out there that are still women and consider themselves women but may behave in ways perceived as more stereotypically male.

I guess you could look at it from a gender Euphoria or Dysphoria point of view. What sorts of behaviours make you feel more girly I guess and which make you feel the dysphoria more.

Like for example, today I finally got some blank necklaces to put some cute cat charms I have on to. There's this cartoon cat character that looks quite like my cat so I think of him as kinda a cartoon version of my cat. I don't overtly express my true gender in the real world, but putting on the necklace and the charm bracelet makes me feel a bit of gender euphoria. I know that they are there and it makes me feel good. It made me feel good that the bracelet was visible.

So I guess perhaps figuring out which things make you feel that gender euphoria and doing more of that and the rest will follow. Just be you.

What creates a lot of gender dysphoria for me at the minute is my weight. I kinda have this perception that I can be a Tomboy without spooking people, but I also rightly or wrongly feel the same that to be a cute tomboy, I have to be slim. Back when I was slim I was doing the cute tomboy thing and I felt great, androgenous and like "me".

So I guess if I was considering the question you are asking but in relation to myself, I would perhaps phrase it as "What gives me the most gender euphoria?" and it seems, loosing a great deal of weight would be my answer.

I'm not sure if perhaps I've been brainwashed by Western female beauty standards but that's what I feel.

So maybe you are asking the wrong question here? Maybe you should instead ask "What really makes me feel that gender euphoria?". It's ok, you don't need to start a new thread maybe just pivot to talking about that. Everyone feels gender euphoria at times whether they are trans or cis so it's a subject everyone can contribute to.

Just my thoughts.

 

[apolloidolsice]

It’s interesting that you interpret advice as a lecture. I wonder why.

Normal is subjective, thus varying in its definition. If you want a very specific answer, you will need to ask more specific questions.

because instead of giving the question I asked an answer, you decided to go all woke and act like I'm not allowed to want to be a woman. You can like butchy, hairy broads all you like. I don't, and therefore don't want to be one.

 

[Aspychata]

Sticking to semantics, being a woman is a open ended question. So everybody will have a slightly different definition . We want to help however, l think there is frustration that we can't provide the answer that you want to hear. I am walking over to the shooting squad now. This is a very friendly helpful forum, l think being a woman might entail being nice to those that tried to help instead of constantly attacking forum members. My definition of being a woman? Means being tough as nails, and standing up for yourself, having boundaries, asking for what you need, and maybe a pedicure.