"How Spoiling Helped My Son's Autism" (note that I don't have a son)

[HDLSeanWiley]

but do you think this is right or not? How Spoiling My Son Helped His Autism | Autism & Oughtisms

 

[Ylva]

I generally don't care enough to comment on how people raise their children, but at least I'll admit that "spoiled" had an unequivocally negative ring to it in my head before I read that article. Now, I can see how it would be useful.

 

[Ereth]

In cases like these, "right" and "wrong" tend to be relative. What is indulgence for some children is positive reinforcement for others, as this piece shows.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Eh, some people have referred to me as "spoiled" in a good way, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I think he did very well with his kid! Time and again it's been proven that life does not follow what's demanded, there has to be some flexibility in there. Some people need more attention, some need less.

We did a much more watered down thing when getting the kid started potty training. Each time he went to the potty, it was high praise, clapping, a hug, and a kiss. As he got more used to it, the more we eased up to "good job" and maybe some affection. Now we're on the last hurdle of potty training. Stop shaking your hips at the toilet and getting it everywhere! This is much harder than getting him on the potty in the first place.

 

[HDLSeanWiley]

Stop shaking your hips at the toilet and getting it everywhere!

lol wow

 

[Dawn Marcotte]

I think the word 'spoiled' implies giving a child whatever they want even when it isn't what they need and allows them to become unkind, uncaring and selfish people.

Giving an autistic child what they want is often the best way to get them to learn new behaviors and become more capable of dealing with the world. It has nothing to do with encouraging them to be unkind or uncaring and selfish.

 

[Coupe]

I don't think what was going on as described in the article was "spoiling" so much as it was "positive reinforcement." It is important for kids to know that they can have control over their own environment within reason. I also don't think of allowing accommodations (such as comfort items and noise-cancelling headphones) as "spoiling," either, although so-called "experts" who really have no concern with helping autistic children feel calm and comfortable in a frightening world might call it that. :/

 

[Vinca]

"...if you don’t get things right the first time with an autistic child, it can create whole new anxieties and issues that you then have to overcome before you can try the original challenge again"

I found this comment in the piece interesting as I've noticed with myself that a new challehge/experience going badly really stays with me.