How do your interests come?

[onlything]

Or: how do you get excited about things?

I used to be fascinated by so many different objects and ideas. I used to read at least one book a day, write, draw, paint or tinker for hours on end, forgetting to eat or sleep. I used to visit new places and explore each as if they were new worlds with new ideas to be discovered. I used to be curious and excited. There was something compelling me to remember the strangest of facts and then talking about them to anyone who would(and wouldn't) listen.

But the last time I read a book with pleasure was almost five years ago. Exciting drawing and landscapes ended more than three years ago. Last time I painted was more than two and as much time passed since my last piece of poetry. I try from time to time but I end up looking at an empty piece of paper for long periods of time, or reading the same sentence over and over.

I try new things but the interest, if there is any, passes in an hour or two, a day if I'm lucky. I had maybe one month overall in five years when I was fascinated about something like I used to and it's painful.

It's the kind of an ache that keeps you awake and aware, and so frustrated, because you look at amateur arts, at numbers, at architectural technology and design, at written words on a page, at a smudge of paint - and instead of that compelling need to do something,work on it now or later or all the time, you feel... just nothing. Like you lost your purpose.

I thought that maybe if you guys tell me about how you got into your special interests and what you love the most about them, maybe, maybe I would remember about mine. Or get a new one.

Or maybe I'm just naive. Still, I'd like to hear about them.

 

[tree]

Your post seems to be describing depression.
Depression takes the delight from activities a person previously enjoyed.

 

[Mr Allen]

Way back in the early 80's, my Brother had the ZX81 computer, and persuaded me to get the 48K Spectrum, and I'm glad I did, some great games and I learned BASIC programming skills, then I upgraded to the 128K Spectrum for even better graphics, less colour clash and great music.

And then 20 years later, after about 10 years of pain in the arse PC gaming, he persuaded me to get the original Xbox, for just put the disc in and play gaming, excellent idea and I've been hooked ever since.

 

[onlything]

Your post seems to be describing depression.
Depression takes the delight from activities a person previously enjoyed.

Yes, it all started with depression. Other ways don't seem to work for me so I'm looking for other ones.

 

[onlything]

Way back in the early 80's, my Brother had the ZX81 computer, and persuaded me to get the 48K Spectrum, and I'm glad I did, some great games and I learned BASIC programming skills, then I upgraded to the 128K Spectrum for even better graphics, less colour clash and great music.

And then 20 years later, after about 10 years of pain in the arse PC gaming, he persuaded me to get the original Xbox, for just put the disc in and play gaming, excellent idea and I've been hooked ever since.

What games are you playing now?

 

[paloftoon]

For me, there are multiple things that could get me interested in something. Primarily, if I'm good at doing something. If I just (think I) like doing an activity, that would get me interested.
Environment can help too. If I'm talking with people who make me feel like they really want to consider building a quality friendship with me and aren't trying to cajole me to do an interest of theirs for their own selfish reasons, that could make me naturally inclined to be more interested in something. If I feel unnecessarily cajoled, it is definitely a turn off for me though.

 

[Mia]

Think it was a progression, read and painted and drew to achieve some peace and some quiet. Initially it was to learn, to lose or find myself in books and obliterate the actual world going on around me.

The drawing and painting was to depict somehow the way I perceived the world. The art became an obsessive, perfectionist, ego-driven show of my talent and worth. Everything I achieved during that period of my life, was so that others would value me. Hearing, oh, 'she's so talented.' Was never enough, even if someone had told me every day of my life at that point. During the early part of my life, I did all the art to show others that I was talented and not to be overlooked. Continually being directed and influenced by those around me. I garnered worth from others, not from myself. I have gone back to art, never really left it, but the art changed.

It was the same with dancing, singing, being a model for awhile. It was all about worth in other peoples eyes and free clothes . It took many years for me to realize that much of what I was really interested in, rescuing animals, plants, hunting for fossils, martial arts, cycling, were things I had done automatically all along. The interests evolved to be less about other's and more about what I actually enjoy and would feel empty without.

 

[MaeveTheRaven]

School does not really leave me much time for interests, but here are some:
- Hiking and nature. Especially mountains and forests. If I have time, I go for longer hiking trips with my friends or alone. I can also recommend performance hiking (I don't know if that's a thing abroad at all), it gives an extra motivation-reward system to it.
- Reading: I used to read a lot more back when I was younger, but really good books are something I still enjoy.
- Playing music (guitar, ukulele and singing): I especially recommend the ukulele, since it's relatively cheap, easy to learn and fun.
- Fandoms. I can't specify this one much more, sometimes a book or a game or a comic just gets me and pulls me in, and then next I know is I spend hours researching the lore behind it.
- Weird stuff: I often watch videos about how stuff are made. Or my recent favourite is Ask A Mortician, it's a channel about the history of funeral directors and death care. It's really fascinating.
- Drawing: about two years ago I bought a digital drawing pad, it makes it easier to draw anywhere I go. (As long as I have my laptop with me.)

For me motivation and enthusiasm about these topics are the strongest when I don't have a very packed timetable (which is not true during university semesters). If I'm under a lot of stress because of school, I tend to hyperfocus on solving those problems first, and I can't really relax and let myself enjoy anything else until that's done.

 

[Judge]

Yeah. As some have already posted, it's not so much about how special interests come as it is how easily they can go. Where for those of us with forms of depression, some of the most cherished things can simply evaporate and separate us from them for unknown, indefinite amounts of time.

 

[Suzanne]

Just doing or looking gets me into what ever it is.

Currently, obsessed with Korean dramas. Have no desire to watch western ones.

Started with facebook tv, which show scenes from programs and that got me fascinated enough to watch the whole drama and went from there.

 

[Streetwise]

Yeah. As some have already posted, it's not so much about how special interests come as it is how easily they can go. Where for those of us with forms of depression, some of the most cherished things can simply evaporate and separate us from them for unknown, indefinite amounts of time.

i'm saying this as it hit me even when my mother was completely paralysed she was still interested in books and listened to talking books,wanted me to read the Bible to her and I remembered that the lady next door in the nursing home irony ,who had severe dementia and found out I was reading the bible and asked me to read it to her, I was astounded .
for some reason I can't understand! even when I read peoples explanation! on this forum ,I still don't understand it !but I'm just not! making greeting cards at the moment! but for some reason! I feverishly want to colour in pictures! in a colouring book .
i'm starting to realise I don't think I'll ever know why .no new interest has appeared as of yet ,
One thing I've learned from the depression! it only lasted a second! I want to keep breathing!it was specifically only about breathing

 

[Judge]

I often gauge my depression by the degree of indifference I pay towards one of my primary hobbies, plastic modelling. Something I've struggled to get back into for months. Knowing that it ebbs and flows, but nowhere as regular as the tide.

When I'm back in my hobby workstation and being productive, odds are my depression is at a low ebb. And if not, that my depression is what keeps me from being creative in my own way.

Knowing that while I can force myself to work on a hobby, it may result in a very poorly executed creation. Which in my own way makes the whole thing pointless. But then that also involves my OCD and rigid sense of expectations and perfection.

What can I say? Life's not easy.

 

[Bikutoso]

My interests starts and stops in cycles.
It can be annoying at times.
Like in October I had an interest in C programming and began learning it, but the interest stopped in late December and a interest in a natural language started.
But the problem is how much C will I still remember when I'm getting interested in it again.

 

[onlything]

I often gauge my depression by the degree of indifference I pay towards one of my primary hobbies, plastic modelling. Something I've struggled to get back into for months. Knowing that it ebbs and flows, but nowhere as regular as the tide.

I used to do the same with books concerning architectural technology or politics. If I could still read these 100 pages or more per day, it was quite a good day. 50 was fine, 20 - pretty bad, 10 was atrocious... But, well, I stopped reading about it at all. It kind of hurts when you can't even finish that one page.

 

[Judge]

I used to do the same with books concerning architectural technology or politics. If I could still read these 100 pages or more per day, it was quite a good day. 50 was fine, 20 - pretty bad, 10 was atrocious... But, well, I stopped reading about it at all. It kind of hurts when you can't even finish that one page.

Exactly. It takes the fun out of something that is intended to be fun! Maddening and heartbreaking.

Yet in my own case simply migrating to yet another special interest seldom happened.

 

[Fino]

I had a similar problem. Adderall helped.

 

[SusanLR]

It's definitely depression with me.
It just came naturally the things I enjoyed and was interested in.
As a child, drawing cartoons was the first and listening to my 45 rpm collection of music.
That turned into painting and drawing and writing music, singing.
I've been interested in psychology, geology, and reading fantasy books as an escape to another world.
Fishing with my Dad until his death.
Gardening and nature in general.

Then when my life was shattered, the depression hit and now it's like I'm just waiting for those
feelings of interest and creativity to return.
The interest in science and learning especially in astrophysics or medical sciences is about all
that can still really hold my attention.
I do like music to relax with and being alone out in nature.
Today I went to a park by a lake and saw Gopher turtles, flocks of Robins and ducks on the lake.
That made me feel better while it lasted.

 

[Progster]

For me, there is often a trigger - I see something on TV that fascinates me and sets off a deep feeling of longing, like a dark forest or something and I become obsessed with the area or country that forest is in, or a song/songs in another language, and I want to learn that language so I can understand the song.

 

[Mr Allen]

What games are you playing now?

I just started playing Kingdom Hearts 3 on Xbox One.

 

[onlything]

It's definitely depression with me.
It just came naturally the things I enjoyed and was interested in.
As a child, drawing cartoons was the first and listening to my 45 rpm collection of music.
That turned into painting and drawing and writing music, singing.
I've been interested in psychology, geology, and reading fantasy books as an escape to another world.
Fishing with my Dad until his death.
Gardening and nature in general.

Then when my life was shattered, the depression hit and now it's like I'm just waiting for those
feelings of interest and creativity to return.
The interest in science and learning especially in astrophysics or medical sciences is about all
that can still really hold my attention.
I do like music to relax with and being alone out in nature.
Today I went to a park by a lake and saw Gopher turtles, flocks of Robins and ducks on the lake.
That made me feel better while it lasted.

Animal watching? Yeah, loved it as well. It used to be so soothing to just visit a near park or go fishing with my grandfather. But now the only thing I feel with these is that blank 'so... what am i even doing here?' emotion. It's the same one as the one you get during shopping or at work watching your colleagues interact. I would feel exactly the same if I watched my room wall instead of ducks. And that's just sad.