My roommate was in a bad mood today. I think my dog might have noticed and brought her a toy. My roommate responded by repeatedly kicking the toys and fussing at my dog for having toys all around the kitchen.
Now, I am slow to anger but don't pick on my dog. I told my roommate to stop and asked her why she was in such a bad mood. She responded, "Why do you care? You never have before." Maybe this was said in frustration and she really didn't mean it but this statement absolutely floored (and hurt) me because I feel I've done so much for my roommate, including:
I don't know if this has to do with autism but it occurs to me that people on the spectrum, may not express care/love for others in ways that neurotypical people appreciate. I guess I usually show I care through acts of service...but at least in the case of my roommate, these don't seem appreciated. I'm curious how others show their care/love and whether it's appreciated.
Now, I am slow to anger but don't pick on my dog. I told my roommate to stop and asked her why she was in such a bad mood. She responded, "Why do you care? You never have before." Maybe this was said in frustration and she really didn't mean it but this statement absolutely floored (and hurt) me because I feel I've done so much for my roommate, including:
- Changing the cat's litter and buying a new litter box because she complained about the smell
- Taking out the trash because she doesn't want to
- Paying $400 more in rent, despite having less space
- Not moving out on my own because I worried that this would put a financial strain on her
- Adding lights/project/screen/soundbar/fountains to our back porch because she wanted to sit out there
- Giving her access to my Netflix/Amazon Prime accounts, etc.
- Representing her in her divorce for free
- Letting her use my credit card when she didn't have enough money to fix her car
- Offering to put the title for a new car in my name because she was unable to do so
- Offering to front the money for a $3,000 machine to help with her business
I don't know if this has to do with autism but it occurs to me that people on the spectrum, may not express care/love for others in ways that neurotypical people appreciate. I guess I usually show I care through acts of service...but at least in the case of my roommate, these don't seem appreciated. I'm curious how others show their care/love and whether it's appreciated.