How do you react to authority (being controlled)?

[Judge]

I've discussed this issue a few times here in the past. I believe this amounts to a dichotomy of sorts where people on the spectrum of autism are concerned.

Where it's likely a majority of those on the spectrum are likely to be averse to being under the strict control of much of anyone. Conversely in literal terms of a totalitarian state, I believe that there would be a minority of those on the spectrum who just might thrive in such a rigid, monolithic society.

Where no one is supposed to stand out as an individual. Where everyone remains equally obedient to the state. A social condition that actually enhances one's ability to mask their traits and behaviors because instead of socially emulating a majority of people around you, you simply adapt to one single school of thought that dominates every aspect of one's day-to-day life. A world in which individuality is something anywhere between that which is discouraged, and that which is prohibited.

Though in my own case I'm one who is averse to being under the control of much of anyone. Yet I have always found totalitarianism and authoritarian mass movements utterly fascinating. Go figure...

 

[Aspychata]

It has been my experience that I am very sensitive to other people trying to control me. I'm wondering if this is an aspie thing or something unrelated. Do other people on here react poorly to being controlled?[/QUOTE

Do you mind being in charge? Like would you like to be a boss?

 

[Tom]

Would you subordinate yourself with a boss you did not respect?

Yes, as far as doing reasonable, realistically needed things. I had to do that from time to time. I would draw the line or at least up-channel my complaint if they asked me to do something I felt wrong or illegal for instance. But just because some one is an asshole doesn't mean I couldn't work under them. Especially in my field which was the military and insubordination was highly illegal.

 

[Oldlady]

I have been the boss and I don't mind it if I feel that I am very qualified and am given quite a bit of free reign. That is because I do very well as long as I agree with the rules and procedures, but very poorly if I don't.

However, I don't prefer being the boss since it requires a great deal of energy to maintain good relationships with all those people.

 

[Progster]

Yes. I hate being controled, and had a lot of difficulties as a child because of this. I also often resent authority, I feel the need to have control over my environment. I don't react well to being told what to do by others, or to being told that I can't or am not allowed to do something by an authority figure, and this actually causes a lot of anxiety when I need to interact with authority figures.

It's ok if I can see the reason for the authority, and the authority is just and fair, but if I think that it's not fair for any reason, I won't accept it at all.

 

[Oldlady]

Yes, as far as doing reasonable, realistically needed things. I had to do that from time to time. I would draw the line or at least up-channel my complaint if they asked me to do something I felt wrong or illegal for instance. But just because some one is an asshole doesn't mean I couldn't work under them. Especially in my field which was the military and insubordination was highly illegal.

I'm ex-military, but that was back in my 20's. I'm much more stubborn and willful now. Although, I did get into my share of trouble.

 

[Shamar]

It has been my experience that I am very sensitive to other people trying to control me. I'm wondering if this is an aspie thing or something unrelated. Do other people on here react poorly to being controlled?

Judge said it best: dichotomy. I am offended when told what to go, especially if I think there is a better way or if I'm in the middle of something. Om the other hand, because I have virtually no assertiveness and can't stand confrontation, I always back down.

 

[Oldlady]

Judge said it best: dichotomy. I am offended when told what to go, especially if I think there is a better way or if I'm in the middle of something. Om the other hand, because I have virtually no assertiveness and can't stand confrontation, I always back down.

Your feelings don't dictate your behavior. Sounds very grown up.

 

[Judge]

I'm ex-military, but that was back in my 20's. I'm much more stubborn and willful now. Although, I did get into my share of trouble.

I once walked a tightrope of sorts in pondering what life would be best for me. Where I almost went into the US Air Force. -Almost.

Something in my heart and mind told me, "Don't do this!" And I didn't. But then I was raised in the military and figured I had enough of life from day one to my teenage years.

Not to mention that one constant in my life has been time and age relative to an increasing sense of independence. Perhaps the best manifestation of this was in being my own boss. At times a precarious way to live, but also a rewarding one for this Aspie.

 

[Oldlady]

I once walked a tightrope of sorts in pondering what life would be best for me. Where I almost went into the US Air Force. -Almost.

Something in my heart and mind told me, "Don't do this!" And I didn't. But then I was raised in the military and figured I had enough of life from day one to my teenage years.

Not to mention that one constant in my life has been time and age relative to an increasing sense of independence.

Probably a good choice. I was ill suited to the military.

 

[Tom]

I'm ex-military, but that was back in my 20's. I'm much more stubborn and willful now. Although, I did get into my share of trouble.

I had my phases too. Once I had amassed 6 Letters of Counseling in 6 months. But my attitude changed when I had to start thinking long term (marriage, etc).

 

[Mia]

It has been my experience that I am very sensitive to other people trying to control me.

Have been my entire life, from very early on. I don't mind authority figures like teachers, instructors, people who know and are qualified to do what they do, doctors and specialists. As soon as someone attempts in any way to control me, who I don't feel has the authority to do so I disengage.

Even in childhood, when I had an extremely controlling older sister and mother. At a quite young age I wouldn't allow my own mother to do anything for me. I interpreted early on as a toddler that she was so fatigued by all the work she had to do with a large family, that I would not add to it.

Did everything for myself, including looking after younger siblings, to ease her workload. Never treated her like a servant, as my other siblings did. Thought I was doing her a kindness, which she interpreted as a rejection. As the manner in which she showed her love was in doing things for others.

What it did was make me extremely independent from a young age. Which alienated most of my family, with the exception of my father. Who I allowed to do some things for me. Constantly ran away and hid in a forest, when people tried to control me. My brother was usually the only one who knew where I was.

Now, in the present I still balk at people who attempt that sort of psychological control. Whether it be media, friends, people I'm close to. Even doctors who prescribe pills are surprised by my rejection of their advice at times, if I don't decide that it's necessary.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Do other people on here react poorly to being controlled?

When I was a kid I had an uncle that was very cold and gave me orders a lot, I couldnt stand it and he was the only person I ever was in confrontation with, I think that helped me a little building a personnality.

I hate receiving orders that I feel not justified I have to be honest.
Even waiting at a red light sometimes make me super angry

Now this is a bit different from totalitarian regimes, I mean, a society is a system that works on you to make you submit to its value, totalitarian or not ,I think many aspies are outcast because of that.
And the truth is that no personnality type is perfect and would be by definition against a regime that is unfair, its a matter of your personnal experiences , your own family history...

 

[Ken S.]

When I was made lead builder of a store fixture/kiosk building shop I had to read a book on positive and negative reinforcement psychology. It was an epiphany moment and changed how I listened to people. I didn't use it and the builders I was in charge of all got along with me.
Anytime psychology has been used on me since I recognize it immediately get aggravated and straight up ask they refrain from psychological manipulation.
As the Star Wars fans would put it "Your mind tricks will not work on me young Jedi." Yes businesses are out for the dollar and their management will do what ever it takes ethical or not to get workers to preform the way they want.

Edit: It has also been my experience doctors abuse negative reinforcement psychology more than anyone I have met.

 

[Ginseng]

No one likes to be around controlling people. However a person who has rightful authority over me and uses their authority appropriately, not lording it over me, and is in fact able to lead, in that position, I welcome their lead.

But those type of leaders are always paying attention and carefully guiding those who they lead. It is kind of like the trust game where you are blindfolded and some one leads you around. Some people think it is funny to run you into things. Some people keep you safe and guide you paying attention to your needs along the way. Having authority over us is natural. None of us are able to make it in life without someone who is "higher" (not sure what word I am looking for here) than us. Our land lord, HMO, police (good and bad), teachers, the list goes on. But somewhere in there we have power over others. How do we use our power?

 

[Pats]

I've always hated being TOLD what to do. My (ex) would try to tell me when to go to bed and then I'd use toothpicks to hold my eyes open if I needed to. You can ask or request and I'll do it probably, but to tell me or order me I can't do it. Funny, I was wondering myself if this was a control thing that everyone has or if there's some reason for it pertaining to the spectrum.

 

[Pats]

Thinking about it, my aspie daughter is the same way - I was the only person in existence that she would allow to TELL her what to do.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I don't think I've ever experienced someone trying to control me... or maybe I'm just thinking about this in the wrong way, could you provide example of what you are talking about?

 

[Ginseng]

I don’t see not liking to be told what to do as an Aspie trait, but a human trait.

 

[NecroCurator]

If you realize and notice that someone is controlling you, they are not doing a good job of it. There is no totalitarianism and freedom. There are just different levels of obviousness in control.