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How do you deal with people who are awkward/not accomodating

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Frostee

Well-Known Member
Firstly, I would like to preface this and say that I get stressed out in crowded places. Especially when I am rushed. So keep that in mind.

________

Today was not a good day for me, at all. A lot of things went wrong consecutively.

As I mentioned I have got a new car a few weeks ago. I have hit it twice. But I do have a particular problem with getting my car manoeuvred around the bollards (our car parks have thin, narrow lanes with concrete bollards around them). 6/7 times out of 10 I will drive on the kerb or hit the bollard. My car is simply too big for me to see where I am going.This causes me a lot of stress.

So this comes on to awkward drivers, people who drive slow, people who speed up when I overtake, people who take too long to move off etc.

I do fine driving but I am having particular problems in dealing with awkward drivers. I nearly always come across people driving slow.

I don’t know how to deal with awkward drivers. This evening I could not get out of a parking space because cars kept coming behind me. When I finally got out a ROI driver comes in the entrance. I flash my lights and wave at him, he won’t move over.

So I have to go out and around him, hitting my wheel in the process. There is barely any room for me to move.

Again this is an issue that I have difficulties in dealing with. I cannot cope with pressure. I have hit my car on occasion due to pressure and feeling rushed.
 
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If they aren't being helpful / accommodating then it can help to remind yourself that -

It's not your fault that they are failing to help. Maybe they are being selfish, ignorant, lacking awareness, thinking about something else, or maybe for some reason you can't see they are unable to be more accommodating. Maybe it's not their fault at all either.

Whatever it is, there's not much you can do about their actions (unless there is something specific you can say to them and feel up to communicating it) so take the pressure off yourself, take stock, slow down and just pay attention to what you have to do to move your car.
 
Sounds like you're driving too fast, Frostee, dashing around too much, it's ok if you're comfortable with the spacial aspects of the car, but since you're not, I'd drive more slowly - I had someone talk up the virtues of driving more slowly to me a while ago and I'm starting to like it, you get to notice the scenery more and engine noise is quieter.
 
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I don't drive but walk around town quite a bit. The sidewalk / pavements are often quite narrow and I find a lot of people walk about quite aggressively or obliviously trying to claim priority. Unless I'm really in a hurry I just slow right down or even stop and let them go. I don't know what battle they think they're fighting but it isn't mine. OK pal, off you go, I'm enjoying the lovely grey view and poluted air thanks very much.
 
Rather than other people driving slow it sounds like you are driving too fast. Many people have large cars but still manage to drive on narrow lanes without issues.

Drive slower, practice until understanding the dimensions of your car is instinctive (this is a process everyone has to go through with a new car), and set out with the aim to be more patient with other drivers.

Breath slowly and deeply. Remember that getting somewhere 2 minutes quicker isn't going to achieve anything. When you are annoyed take a moment to be grateful for what you have e.g. you have a nice car which gives you freedom, you are healthy, you have all day to get to where you want to go so you don't have to rush. Counterfactuals are also useful is these situations, just think, you could have had an accident while driving around that previous corner, wrecked your car and injured yourself, and if so you would have given anything to be in your current situation, stuck behind a slow driver feeling annoyed.

Try exercising your empathy, the person driving slowly may have had your experiences of difficulty driving on narrow lanes and has learnt to be careful, the person who takes too long to move off it traffic may be distracted by their work, or may have had some terrible news which is on their mind. The person who speeds up when you overtake may be having a terrible day and is so irritated with the world that petty actions like that are the only think brightening their day, isn't that sad? All the other drivers probably think that you are just as annoyingly awkward and unaccommodating as you think they are, isn't that silly? Might as well just take a deep breath and be calm and happy while everyone else stresses about silly things like having to drive slightly slower than they want to.
 
I don’t drive fast. Our National speed limit is 60mph yet I constantly come across people chugging along at 40mph. This is particularly dangerous if we are driving on a busy road, it will often lead to massive tailbacks. It is quite frankly selfish to be honest.
 
@Frostee
"My car is simply too big for me to see where I am going.This causes me a lot of stress."

How about trading in the car for a smaller model?
 
Frostee said:
I don’t drive fast. Our National speed limit is 60mph yet I constantly come across people chugging along at 40mph. This is particularly dangerous if we are driving on a busy road, it will often lead to massive tailbacks. It is quite frankly selfish to be honest.
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The speed limit is a limit, not a target. There are places where it is dangerous to drive too slowly, such as on the motorway or in tunnels, and there are places which have lower speed limits for that reason, but driving 40 in a 60 zone is not necessarily dangerous. In some places it is far more dangerous to drive at the speed limit, such as many country roads. There are plenty of roads around me with 60 limits where driving that fast is insane. Regardless, what does impatience achieve other than your own unhappiness?
 
you have to bond with your vehicle in this world, whether it's your car or your body. Large or small there's a failure to bond with 'brother body' in this situation.
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
The speed limit is a limit, not a target. There are places where it is dangerous to drive too slowly, such as on the motorway or in tunnels, and there are places which have lower speed limits for that reason, but driving 40 in a 60 zone is not necessarily dangerous. In some places it is far more dangerous to drive at the speed limit, such as many country roads. There are plenty of roads around me with 60 limits where driving that fast is insane. Regardless, what does impatience achieve other than your own unhappiness?
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If I am the one the wrong, why do most people drive at 60mph then?
 
The speed limit everywhere is 60mph?? :eek::eek::eek: So everywhere is like a freeway? :eek: Holy moly!! I wonder if I'm understanding this right. :confused:
 
@Frostee

You have a new car. But how long have you actually been operating motor vehicles in general?

In my country for insurance purposes, anyone licensed less than three years is considered an "inexperienced operator". A status that carries a hefty surcharge when a driver is a principal operator, driving a specific vehicle on a regular basis. With the UK insurer I once worked for in the US, the highest rated car in the household carried that surcharge, even if it wasn't the car the inexperienced operator normally drove. Ouch!

As others have mentioned, at least in the car park it sounds like you need to slow down to negotiate all those bollards- and narrow roadways. As far as your vehicle being "too big" for you, this will change in time with more experience on the road. With other drivers, tolerance is really your only friend in this situation. There will always be someone who drives offensively in your presence at one time or another. Get used to it. And keep your anger to yourself to avoid road rage.

In time and with repetition you will become a better driver. Getting another car isn't likely to solve operator inexperience. Slowing down, judging distances more prudently and constantly being aware of everything happening around you the key to a long term process of safe and happy driving. Something that will not happen overnight or trading your small car for an even smaller one.

For now, most everything you have commented on seems to reflect the perils of an inexperienced operator. Something we all have to endure in those first years of operating a motor vehicle. I know my first three years of driving a car on a regular basis was at times uh...."colorful". :oops:

You're not alone. It took me a couple of years to establish any sense of comfort driving in consideration of any and all likely driving conditions that we all must contend with.
 
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Frostee said:
If I am the one the wrong, why do most people drive at 60mph then?
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Because people drive at the speed they are comfortable with. It is not a matter of being "wrong" (so long as you are within the speed limit), it is a matter of people driving at the speed that is safe for them based on their experience and reflexes. And since you are the one knocking your car, it sounds like your experience and reflexes require a slower speed, and a whole lot more patience.
 
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