How do I stop staring

[Jason5]

I need help with stopping staring at people, it annoys the hell out of me but I can’t stop.

Where do you look in crowded public places like trains etc.

 

[Diego]

I usually look at other things (e.g their shoes, walls, distant things, etc.)

 

[Rodafina]

Where do you look in crowded public places like trains etc.

Check out the undercarriage of the train. It’s really a fascinating thing. The tracks and the train itself are wonderful things to inspect as well. Focus on the different types of trains or other inanimate objects in the area. Architecture, infrastructure, patterns in your environment.

As for the staring at people… If it’s something you really want to stop, could you try the old rubber band on your wrist trick? When you notice that you are staring, give the rubber band a snap and try to break yourself out of the habit.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Are you actually staring at them, or are you looking off into space and they are getting in the way?
That happens to me sometimes. If I notice the person seems annoyed with me, I shift my gaze elsewhere.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

If you do a general internet search on "the science of human eye contact" there are many articles on the topic.

On one hand, eye contact is often the anticipatory precursor to verbal communication. On the other hand, prolonged eye contact (staring) without verbal communication is often perceived as a threat. There is timing involved. Basically, you can look in the general direction of the person you want to communicate with, but do not make eye contact until a second or so before actually greeting them. It's one of those skills that neurotypical children learn early on, but personally, I only learned it a few years ago.

If I were to guess, like me, looking at people, seeing if they will look back at you, was in a way, being open to social interaction. I was trying to be friendly. However, others see it as being "creepy" or even a threat. Once I learned that, I was like, "Oh crap!". I quickly changed my ways. The last thing I want is to be misinterpreted as that. I've had a much better social experience since.

There's "people watching", but you do have to be at a distance, far enough away to avert your gaze once they begin to look in your direction. They can't have that sense like, "Was he staring at me?" People are going to look at other people. You can't stop doing this, but you do have to be a bit "stealthy". Humans often have a sense that another human is staring at them, and will turn their attention towards the other person. Drive a car in traffic some time, then, as an experiment, just turn your head towards the other driver for just a second or two. The other driver, who was paying attention to the road in front of them, will turn their head towards you. It's almost psychic how it happens. So, just be aware that your gaze may attract some unwanted attention.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I need help with stopping staring at people, it annoys the hell out of me but I can’t stop.

Where do you look in crowded public places like trains etc.

I used to really stare at others because I like looking at some people's faces.
It is nice looking at people in public, people watching is not always bad.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

I need help with stopping staring at people, it annoys the hell out of me but I can’t stop.

Where do you look in crowded public places like trains etc.

So, unfortunately, I do this too. I don't ogle because then I'd lose my job, but...is it a form of escapsim? I don't intend to unnerve, but it's like my brain just wants to focus on something other than being overstimulated.