How can I finally find love?

[Misty Avich]

The only time I would feel irritated would be like when a younger cousin bragged to me and insinuated I was trying to “get her” myself. I am just glad he leaves me alone these days; I think he got the point that his actions pushed me away.

Well that's understandable if someone is being cocky. But when people are just being matter of fact or innocuous without any intent on hurting you, you understand that and you don't resent them.

Sometimes I feel guilty for mentioning my husband here, but every time I do, I don't do it to "rub it in". He's a huge part of my life, so I'm going to mention him, just like I'm going to mention work or family.

I do try to understand the bitterness some of our single friends here feel, and know not to take it personally if they do lash out. I try to respect their feelings about it. But me being the stupid, fragile "can't take accusations" type of person, I still react with emotions, because I worry that I have said the wrong thing and that it's my fault, and I hate feeling responsible for someone else feeling bad. It's in my nature to want to help people, but sometimes it's difficult when some mistake my support for being callous or mean.

 

[Markness]

Well that's understandable if someone is being cocky. But when people are just being matter of fact or innocuous without any intent on hurting you, you understand that and you don't resent them.

Sometimes I feel guilty for mentioning my husband here, but every time I do, I don't do it to "rub it in". He's a huge part of my life, so I'm going to mention him, just like I'm going to mention work or family.

I do try to understand the bitterness some of our single friends here feel, and know not to take it personally if they do lash out. I try to respect their feelings about it. But me being the stupid, fragile "can't take accusations" type of person, I still react with emotions, because I worry that I have said the wrong thing and that it's my fault, and I hate feeling responsible for someone else feeling bad. It's in my nature to want to help people, but sometimes it's difficult when some mistake my support for being callous or mean.

He’s always been very cocky and smug. I am just glad he lives in another state and doesn’t attempt to contact me anymore.

I never got the impression you were rubbing it in when you mentioned your husband. You’ve had a very humble attitude going about it.

You don’t have to worry about that with me. You haven’t said anything like “Haha, you’re a loser and I get sex every night while you don’t!” like some of my detractors have said to me.

 

[Misty Avich]

You don’t have to worry about that with me. You haven’t said anything like “Haha, you’re a loser and I get sex every night while you don’t!” like some of my detractors have said to me.

Wow, that is nasty. I'm sorry you've had people say that to you.

 

[Markness]

Wow, that is nasty. I'm sorry you've had people say that to you.

Indeed and that’s partly why I keep feeling like I need to prove them wrong.

 

[Judge]

Indeed and that’s partly why I keep feeling like I need to prove them wrong.

People can be quite predatory.

I can only say from personal experience that your best bet is to separate yourself permanently from such people the best you can. Proving them wrong? -Forget it. They are incapable of responding to logic or decency. That their baser instincts override such considerations.

It's pathological for such people. Do you understand this? You must figure out a way to simply avoid such people. You will never likely convince them of anything, even if you got married.

For them it isn't about your social life. It's that you are a target for them to attack. That's all. Something I suspect that you've never come to grips with until this very moment. Don't waste any further time attempting to convince such people of anything. Their predatory nature will always shine through. That it's more about them than you in this context.

 

[tree]

Indeed and that’s partly why I keep feeling like I need to prove them wrong.

Sure.
Wounded pride often provokes that feeling.

But isn't it still giving others more power than they deserve?

It looks like insecurity is part of the basis for the *prove them wrong* mentality.
Feeling the need to show them that you're really ok.
But if you felt OK, would that be necessary?