Hiding behind the smile

[The Penguin]

When I meet people, they a misconception things are always good for me as I smile a lot. This is very far from the truth. The smile is my mask to hide when I'm not happy most of the time. I want to know who else can relate to this?

 

[ThatSkyWing]

I can relate in a way. I try to pretend I'm always feeling just fine even when I'm not, and most people are fooled by it. It also doesn't help that I'm not good at explaining how I'm feeling, so even if I wanted help it wouldn't do me much good.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh I am always saying either: great thanks or: you really do not want to know how I feel and generally they smile and walk away! Some do say: oh no Suzanne, what is it and I say: oh you know, just surviving!

It can be surreal though, when you have been crying for hours and in the depth of despair and scared and then, that same day, smiling at people. Sometimes I need to escape because it is just too overwhelming for me.

Home and my music is when I can take off my masks and be ME and no, that is not offensive lol

 

[Owls12]

I sometimes can find it hard to disguise how I feel IRL. Though I do prefer to express feelings to closed ones if it's urgent. But when I do I find it hard to describe how I'm feeling and why I feel that way.

 

[WildCat]

I don't put on a fake smile for anyone and find it incredibly difficult to do so. I usually carry sort of a neutral expression, looks as if I'm bordering on fed up even though I'm not, and it can and does change rapidly. It gives off a certain vibe, one that says, "you probably shouldn't approach me" when in reality I'm not THAT misanthropic!

 

[zurb]

I don’t see it as pretending - it’s not that conscious - I just can’t help it. Maybe it’s just nervousness? Maybe it’s like the patients in hospital who pick up as you walk in and collapse when you leave? Maybe it’s self protection - if they see I’m down I’d have to explain why?

 

[Licorice]

Oftentimes I joke around with my classmates and my instructors. Some days when everyone is laughing and talking it feels so normal. If they knew that I go home to sit alone all weekend and have for several months now since my one remaining friend moved away, would they feel the same way? How about if they knew that I've made a dozen attempts to make a new friend this year and failed each one?

 

[Shawn D]

I try to compensate for my lack of social skills by trying to be extra nice and smiley. My husband points out that I come across as disingenuous and "fake". Guess acting isn't in my future [emoji13]

 

[umbrellabeach]

I hardly ever smile without a real reason. Unfortunately this leads to people (especially older men) teasing me about it and telling me to cheer up. People sometimes ask me "how are you?" but I've learned that they usually only do it to be polite and have no intention of further conversation, so I just say I'm fine. I don't think people really notice or care about how I feel; they just like to pick out things about me to comment on (e.g. the familiar "you sure are quiet!"), so I don't bother hiding anything.

 

[Omega]

I don't put on a fake smile for anyone and find it incredibly difficult to do so. I usually carry sort of a neutral expression, looks as if I'm bordering on fed up even though I'm not, and it can and does change rapidly. It gives off a certain vibe, one that says, "you probably shouldn't approach me" when in reality I'm not THAT misanthropic!

This post describes me perfectly.

 

[TSS]

I can sometimes put on the fake me. I do it at work all the time. If they only knew how I was feeling on the inside.

 

[tree]

Is this about smiling when you don't feel like smiling?
Making your face look happy?
Or just making your face look acceptably not un-happy?

The idea of me trying to smile if I wasn't happy
makes me feel really creepy.
Like I wasn't me.

Too much clang.
That's short for....I would have the experience of somehow not being
in my body. Of angularity. Of me looking at fake me.
A bad twisted feeling.

 

[tachyon]

For me it's about avoiding having people enquiring about why I'm not happy. I find it less difficult pretending to be 'in a happy place' than explaining how I actually feel . Nobody actually wants to know your difficulties so don't share them unless you are in a very receptive group (my many decades of experience).

 

[TSS]

I do my best to put on a decent face at work, so nobody asks me what is wrong. I have had my days though that I just couldn't hide it. I am so lucky to work for a supervisor that is understanding. This year I even had to take a couple days off for what I called a "Mental Health Day". It seemed like the people that I am most in contact with Knew I need those couple of days off. Sometimes I find that I just need to turn the world off for a while, sit in my rocking chair with my favorite blanket and just rock. It is hard to put on that professional face, but I try so people will leave me alone.

 

[Adora]

I find it extremely hard to pretend to be happy when I'm not I envy those who can smile no matter how they are feeling inside,unfortunately I'm not good at covering up my true feelings.

 

[Judge]

My experience has been that I tend to inadvertently attract attention because I don't smile much. Someone usually asking me, "What's wrong?" when there wasn't necessarily anything wrong at the time.

Just another reason for being called "Judge" as a small child. I always walked around with a serious look on my face. Go figure! Faking a smile? Not my nature.

 

[tree]

It's not hard at all for me to pretend to be happy if I am not.
It's impossible.

I can do 'flat' or 'you look depressed.'
Can't do 'happy face' when not.

I have some verification of that subjective evaluation.
Three of my grandparents died in rapid succession when I was 16 and
my mother went into the hospital. Surprise. She had cancer.

Everything looked gray to me. No color in the world.
The English teacher advised me to get the insipid smile off my face.
I was trying to cope.

 

[Shawn D]

I'm sorry to say that when I've been out in public, more than once has a total stranger (usually an older gentleman) has told me to smile. As if I my value as a woman is based solely on my ability to appear pleasant to other people. You'd never see a woman go up to a man and tell him to smile.
If I feel like smiling, I'll smile. If I don't, who are you to tell me what to do, or in this case, appear to feel?

 

[gonz]

You'd never see a woman go up to a man and tell him to smile.

Begging your pardon, but this is something I've had people say to me on multiple occasions, both men and women (I've been told my resting face looks worried).

I have no idea how often it happens to women, and I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about it when it happens to you, and I'm not making any claims regarding the motives of the particular guys who've said it to you (you were there, you'd know much better than I would).

But it's simply not true that women never say it to men, or that men only say it to women.

 

[tachyon]

Begging your pardon, but this is something I've had people say to me on multiple occasions, both men and women (I've been told my resting face looks worried).

I have no idea how often it happens to women, and I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about it when it happens to you, and I'm not making any claims regarding the motives of the particular guys who've said it to you (you were there, you'd know much better than I would).

But it's simply not true that women never say it to men, or that men only say it to women.

I agree.
I have been often quizzed if there is something wrong. I once had a woman walk into a lift (elevator) I was in and say "Cheer up - it might not happen". I remember being puzzled because I wasn't feeling down at all and she was a total stranger.