Wow thank you all for so much advice, I think it could help a lot
I have been in many relationships, and have come to discover that what you are feeling for her will settle down in time. The best way to establish a relationship (and to keep one), is to be friends. Without friendship, you will end up with nothing. If you can be her friend, you have everything, even though it does not feel that way (we always want more). Take it easy and allow the flower time to open. If you force it, you will end up breaking the petals off, and will never see it's true beauty.
I am ok with being just friends for now, I just don't know how.
UI agree with soup, be sure to not share to much personal info too soon. be paitent and take your time with her. greet her with a hi and how are you? maybe ask her out to a musuem if she lieks art. yeah it sucks theres no coffee shop in your town. thats always a good safe place ot go for a simple outing.
i really hope you can keep talkign to this girl and keep in touch with her.
i think itd be okay to text her, maybe ask if you could get her number if she would feel ok texting. i dont have a gf or anything so my advice isnt great but i do want you to be friends with this girl, she soudns like a great friend.
The only meuseum in the county (and I'm not sure its still open) is just a local history museum, which is boring even to me and for a NT I imagine would be equivalent to pounding ones forehead against a wall
And I already have had her number for a long time, my concern is that she doesn't text me so I don't think she wants to talk to me (which is sort of a mixed signal for me since she also is very willing to talk face to face with me like she does with everyone else)
What you could do in that regard is mention some of you issues without saying "Asperger's" out loud. My goal is making people think of me as someone with extremely sensitive hearing, instead of as someone who the media has labeled mentally retarded.
I was just trying to think of a way to explain my social awkwardness. She is very intelligent and one of those people who are just genuinely nice to everyone, so I thought maybe she would understand
Even a NT can be quite shy. Maybe just saying "Hey" when you pass in the hallway, a small wave of hello across the classroom, very low key. Either she will respond or she won't, although try it for a few times before deciding that she hasn't responded, just in case she is experiencing shyness. Even though you have been acquainted with her for a few years, if you haven't really shared any experiences with her then you are still just acquaintances. Friendship does take time and shared experience. Since she sat next to you through that event, you have already shared that experience.
She isn't ever shy that I have seen, she is always eager to talk to people and be social which is why I was confused by her not talking to me. She is about a year and a half older than me, and very outgoing, so it would be odd if she was shy about talking to me
But (being the prone to over analyze everything) I have put some thought into it and realize that I may have been sending unintentional non-verbal signals to her that said I didn't want to be talked to. People often tell me I look angry when I'm not and that would explain why such a talkative person would remain completely silent. What can I do about this?
The thing is, we're not dumb. We DO notice very subtle signs, we just don't know what to make of them. Maybe you should go with your instincts instead of trying to conform here.
My instincts are telling me conflicting things here. I am not trying to conform I just don't know how express what I want to express and how to read what everyone else is expressing
and she is also one of those people who has lots of physical contact with her friends. The problem isn't that I dislike this, I enjoy it very much, but I generally avoid such contact because I have zero sense of when/how it is appropriate to interact physically with someone. It is yet another barrier between me and everyone else that makes it hard for me to make/maintain friends. I don't know if it is abnormal, but it seems like a lot of people at my school socialize physically in ways that are confusing and stressful to me :unsure:
