Siegfried Wolfram
New Member
Hi, my name is Siegfried (I know, ask my mom, pretty ancient German name so you can call me Sig or something) and I am 36 years old. I was born and raised in Bulgaria, Europe.
When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis (has nothing to do with autism or as far as I know) but I am relatively okay. The thing is, my mom thought I had autism because I couldn't look people in the eyes, got upset over tiny changes in routine, I never had any friends and what not.
Well, I don't know if I have autism, never went to a doctor for it or addressed it but to this day I still struggle with these activities. It seems to me I have thought myself to "pretend" I am normal, to "imitate" in a way what other people say and how they behave in social situations. I don't know if anyone else does it, I never really wanted to think about these things because I was embarrassed I couldn't do it and felt like I was not autistic because I could talk, communicate (although I was sweating like crazy and still do anytime someone talks to me)... but now my partner had me look at it again. And it seems I relate to a lot of experiences people on the spectrum have and I even cried when I realized how much in common I had with people on the spectrum. I am now starting to slowly accept myself as who I am.
I am really lonely, at 36, I don't have any friends now - nobody ever wanted to be my friend, apart from my partner... and the thing is, I feel like I need a place to share my thoughts and find someone I relate to so I don't feel like I'm the only one like me in the world. I was always ignored in my childhood. Maybe I was saying weird things because whatever I said, people pretended they didn't hear it. I hope this wasn't too long or obnoxious. Thank you for reading.
When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis (has nothing to do with autism or as far as I know) but I am relatively okay. The thing is, my mom thought I had autism because I couldn't look people in the eyes, got upset over tiny changes in routine, I never had any friends and what not.
Well, I don't know if I have autism, never went to a doctor for it or addressed it but to this day I still struggle with these activities. It seems to me I have thought myself to "pretend" I am normal, to "imitate" in a way what other people say and how they behave in social situations. I don't know if anyone else does it, I never really wanted to think about these things because I was embarrassed I couldn't do it and felt like I was not autistic because I could talk, communicate (although I was sweating like crazy and still do anytime someone talks to me)... but now my partner had me look at it again. And it seems I relate to a lot of experiences people on the spectrum have and I even cried when I realized how much in common I had with people on the spectrum. I am now starting to slowly accept myself as who I am.
I am really lonely, at 36, I don't have any friends now - nobody ever wanted to be my friend, apart from my partner... and the thing is, I feel like I need a place to share my thoughts and find someone I relate to so I don't feel like I'm the only one like me in the world. I was always ignored in my childhood. Maybe I was saying weird things because whatever I said, people pretended they didn't hear it. I hope this wasn't too long or obnoxious. Thank you for reading.