freya8711
New Member
hi I’m Caitlin Briana or CB. i’m undiagnosed. i’m one of those who is a rock star at work and far from it in my personal life. I live in NYC. I met a guy who lives in Canada over a year and a half ago on line in a very platonic way (over hockey).were both 30.
He writes about it as a side job. I knew some people he was writing about. We “talked” and it slowly over time grew into talking daily. then talking privately. then personally. videos. Skype.
gradually he asked me to be his gf and then we both told the other we loved them and we had sex. we talked daily in short messages and always at night and went to sleep virtually in each other’s arms. BUT I always had this pins and needles feeling bc the way he was was seemed both genuine and fake. not that he wasn’t who he said or that he was playing me but it was off. always formal. always demanding punctuality. going on long and detailed on topics like car repair. telling me he never had a gf before. (no one interested him enuf).
told me early on didn’t like touching or kissing and slept alone. in fact would say he often got out of bed to sleep on floor vent for heat. BUT then he kissed me all the time when we talked on line or on skype. hugged me. had sex with me. and didn’t mind the idea of me in his bed. no more vents. Never has told me of a diagnosis. told me issues in school and stories of acting out.
So I didn’t pick it up and just saw quirks. So anyway after all this time and over 9 months of being a couple we had a few for me middling fights. once him. once me. and the last one we said goodnight without our ritual long distance cuddling.
next day? i get message that he’s done. can’t be with me. repeats over and over we aren’t a match. bc I’m too stubborn and illogical. he will always love me. he meant all he said. he will miss me. he is sad. but we are not a match and while he thinks he was better off with me that’s no longer an option. he has lost faith that it would work and i deserve better. very cold. to use his words he had to be stern so i would understand. he would never hold me kiss me or talk to me again or at least not talk for a long time.
then he send a message that he’s deleted everything and will miss me etc. but i can keep one picture if i want. He still follows me on social media. so i’m here to learn what i missed. what i did wrong. to understand him better. and to be prepared and handle better if i come upon it again.
i so wish he had told me upfront or i had put it together better. maybe a different outcome? and while i have no expectations with him i’m not sure if i should do anything more
gradually he asked me to be his gf and then we both told the other we loved them and we had sex. we talked daily in short messages and always at night and went to sleep virtually in each other’s arms. BUT I always had this pins and needles feeling bc the way he was was seemed both genuine and fake. not that he wasn’t who he said or that he was playing me but it was off. always formal. always demanding punctuality. going on long and detailed on topics like car repair. telling me he never had a gf before. (no one interested him enuf).
told me early on didn’t like touching or kissing and slept alone. in fact would say he often got out of bed to sleep on floor vent for heat. BUT then he kissed me all the time when we talked on line or on skype. hugged me. had sex with me. and didn’t mind the idea of me in his bed. no more vents. Never has told me of a diagnosis. told me issues in school and stories of acting out.
So I didn’t pick it up and just saw quirks. So anyway after all this time and over 9 months of being a couple we had a few for me middling fights. once him. once me. and the last one we said goodnight without our ritual long distance cuddling.
next day? i get message that he’s done. can’t be with me. repeats over and over we aren’t a match. bc I’m too stubborn and illogical. he will always love me. he meant all he said. he will miss me. he is sad. but we are not a match and while he thinks he was better off with me that’s no longer an option. he has lost faith that it would work and i deserve better. very cold. to use his words he had to be stern so i would understand. he would never hold me kiss me or talk to me again or at least not talk for a long time.
then he send a message that he’s deleted everything and will miss me etc. but i can keep one picture if i want. He still follows me on social media. so i’m here to learn what i missed. what i did wrong. to understand him better. and to be prepared and handle better if i come upon it again.
i so wish he had told me upfront or i had put it together better. maybe a different outcome? and while i have no expectations with him i’m not sure if i should do anything more
