Help me understand my teenage aspie

[Forest Cat]

Naw there isnt anything unpleasant about his school. All the kids love him. Which is usually the case in a small class environment for him. Same thing happened in Elementary school. He is funny, kind, and usually the smartest kid in the room.... cognitively. Teachers all told me this. They like him a lot. He is very respectful and if kids are acting out of line he says things to them the teacher can't to stop them from misbehaving. The teachers are quite appreciative of this.

Like he does none of the homework. His reason.... why do all this work for 10% of my grade when I already know it.
Yet he still doesn't do reports or projects despite it being 30% of his grade. I told teachers to test him instead of projects because he loses his mind, shuts down, then misses a lot of classes.

We told him we don't expect a straight "A" student, just do your best.

He feels like a loser because he is so smart and his closest friend is a straight "A" super student despite not being as smart as he is. She has to work very hard for her "A"s. People I know as smart as he is almost never do. They just absorb everything.

I was the had to work hard to do something kid.
My wife was the "yawn" learn by osmosis aspie kid.
She has 10 I.Q. points on me.

That difference is huge in high school.

If he is so smart, shouldn't he be moved up to a different class and given more challenging school work? It sounds like he is bored and doesn't have to put any effort into learning anything where he is now.

 

[Gerontius]

Went to only because he didn't want to fail school. He wants a HS diploma and not a GED.

Somehow he did everything on the last day of school to minimally pass, didn't study, and got A's on all his tests.

Grades AABBCC...... ##FACEPALM##

Sounds like he's intelligent though.
Unfortunately it's easy for people to end up thinking real life works like that--I'm afraid schools don't teach learning so mcuh as the y tea

Naw there isnt anything unpleasant about his school. All the kids love him. Which is usually the case in a small class environment for him. Same thing happened in Elementary school. He is funny, kind, and usually the smartest kid in the room.... cognitively. Teachers all told me this. They like him a lot. He is very respectful and if kids are acting out of line he says things to them the teacher can't to stop them from misbehaving. The teachers are quite appreciative of this.

Like he does none of the homework. His reason.... why do all this work for 10% of my grade when I already know it.
Yet he still doesn't do reports or projects despite it being 30% of his grade. I told teachers to test him instead of projects because he loses his mind, shuts down, then misses a lot of classes.

We told him we don't expect a straight "A" student, just do your best.

He feels like a loser because he is so smart and his closes friend is a straight "A" super student despite not being as smart as he is. She has to work very hard for her "A"s. People I know as smart as he is almost never do. They just absorb everything.

I was the had to work hard to do something kid.
My wife was the "yawn" learn by osmosis aspie kid.
She has 10 I.Q. points on me.

That difference is huge in high school.

Your boy sounds remarkably intelligent. Congratulations to him for at least passing.
I confess I was a lot like that when I was a little guy. I still have trouble now--when I'm in good shape, college is fine and I will work like a cart-horse but when mentally I run out of everything at once, I just do the Bare Minimum and maybe even not that.

What I had to do was finally go back to the doctor. I'm trying to put things together. I'm in college right now, in what is supposed to be my last semester, holding a respectable GPA from other semesters but failing this one. Mentally it wasn't good. I did not talk to my parents about much because they either freak out or they dont get it. My father is bad about trying to interpret everything through the lens of his experiences in the 1980s; those are valuable experiences but we are two completely different people.


The matter of "why do all this when I already know it" -- That right there tells me that your kid is very logical. School might not see it that way. I don't see it that way but I guarantee you in high school I'd be thinking the same--why be working to the standard of people who are lower I.Q. than yourself, if it's an academic thing? He might need to be challenged in school by something where "Being smart" doesn't get it, but "being capable of working with others" does. This is hard for lesson plans because group projects are always lousy.

I don't think the standard-issue high school is enough of a challenge for folks like your son. It's not engaging or whatever. Kids used to do 8 or 12 years of school and be done, and I do not think the good old USA school-to-jailhouse pipeline really offers a support for kids like that (or adults like that, either.)

 

[1ForAll]

Naw there isnt anything unpleasant about his school. All the kids love him. Which is usually the case in a small class environment for him. Same thing happened in Elementary school. He is funny, kind, and usually the smartest kid in the room.... cognitively. Teachers all told me this. They like him a lot. He is very respectful and if kids are acting out of line he says things to them the teacher can't to stop them from misbehaving. The teachers are quite appreciative of this.

Like he does none of the homework. His reason.... why do all this work for 10% of my grade when I already know it.
Yet he still doesn't do reports or projects despite it being 30% of his grade. I told teachers to test him instead of projects because he loses his mind, shuts down, then misses a lot of classes.

We told him we don't expect a straight "A" student, just do your best.

He feels like a loser because he is so smart and his closes friend is a straight "A" super student despite not being as smart as he is. She has to work very hard for her "A"s. People I know as smart as he is almost never do. They just absorb everything.

I was the had to work hard to do something kid.
My wife was the "yawn" learn by osmosis aspie kid.
She has 10 I.Q. points on me.

That difference is huge in high school.

This reminds me a little of the stereotype of the very pretty, curvaceous and healthy looking blonde scenario.Why develop a personality or work hard in other ways, as I am so gifted with my genetic born looks, or in the son's case, my intelligence. That will take me everywhere in life I want to be. Why waste my efforts in those other areas, these person's could think.

But, yes, the huge difference is those with Autism may have much more difficulties adapting and in changing any or many ways, than for neurotypicals, so I take that into consideration too.

But, the theory of minimum effort and maximum return does not always work for many things in life. It may take us to higher places at times, yes, and we may develop some self esteem there, but often person's will be judged not by just one great thing. Person's may judge us by digging deeper or need more than that one big ability, as that could mean lots of issues elsewhere.

I do understand though that few person's rarely have everything, but I admit in my case, I felt any good to great grades I received meant little other than showing some hard work I did studying prior to the tests, which gave me more self esteem than even the grades themselves. But your son is from what it seems focused more on grades than effort.

I admit, others in my past and people in school and elsewhere in my life would keep commenting on either the negatives about my very shy and timid looks, or small stature, which I clearly saw, too, worsening my self esteem, but at times they mentioned the positives about my looks though which I did not see. Regardless, I wanted to be defined by other things, which others could not see.

So, from it sounds like, in your case your son either wants or needs to be seen for his intelligence or wants for things to come easy for him doing little physical or mental exertion, to show intelligence there, or in the opposite case he wants a bigger challenge, something he can be more proud of or that interests him more, not wanting something in between which bores or drains him. That might makes sense if black and white thinking is involved.

I just do not see how much long term good will come from a student who seems more focused on grades and less self motivated or with less energy to do all the work, or to focus on other issues that need to be addressed too. In life, sometimes we will have to do the boring stuff or things we do not like. It is not reasonable to want or need everything our way--or one way. Some accommodation is fine, but when will we keep wanting more and more.

Employers are smart enough to know grades do not mean everything. Is the employee self-motivated, communicative, flexible, reliable, full of zest or energy? Does he need many accommodations? They also may look for positive attitude, listening ability, and ability to follow instructions and do what is best for the company instead of themselves.

Of course other employers though may value your son if they see him as some brilliant employee to do things effectively and efficiently, and one who seems advanced with his knowledge there in that field too, and if he can solve problems they need help with. I cannot recall though what your son's specialty or hyperfocus of interest seems to be as of yet.

I just know part of the reason we homeschooled our son's is they have their own hyperfocuses of interest, and each wants or needs to do things differently than what would be allowed at school, and as frankly, we would not trust any official anyway who said things were just fine and rosy there. School officials are not going to admit any bullying or teaching wrongs there. At least though your son's teachers though seem to be somewhat flexible.

From the sound of it, your son wants to be seen as intellectually smart, but what is being overlooked is many other issues that contributes to his inability to adhere to certain reasonable requests and typical norms. The parents and school system seem to be focusing on his positives or his potential, but not addressing the Autism components that are the reason behind some of these difficulties and intolerances, thinking he will snap out of it or it is not important to talk about.

But, having precise answers what to do could be hard to figure out if all involved do not communicate effectively with each other, the difficulties, desires and needs, and if you all assume things, which could be far from reality. I know the op is trying really hard, and is more flexible than most parents would , and they need relief, but the son needs to realize that he is part of the problem if he thinks his ability to retain information means everything.

It does not, if applying what one learned does not occur, or if the other important issues seem to be of little or no priority or unable to be resolved or bettered without making matters worse.

 

[The Lorax]

If he is so smart, shouldn't he be moved up to a different class and given more challenging school work? It sounds like he is bored and doesn't have to put any effort into learning anything where he is now.

He was. He couldn't handle the work.... DESPITE it being much easier than when I was a kid. It was almost dumbed down I want to say. He was in an AP class. To me the work was very easy. The kids today have it far, far, easier than I did. One project of his I tried to help him with I showed him how to do it under 30m. With the internet you can easily to a research paper on the high school level. The teachers have education degrees, they don't have that specific subject degree for any class that requires a paper (mostly). So if you have a report to do on how Napoleon came to power you just google it. It is that easy.

In my day we had to go to the library, find the right book, find the right section of the book.... repeat for 3 books as we needed at least 3 sources. Read, then write in our own words.

I can do today in 20m what took me 2 hours to do when I was a kid. The research part.
But even with this..... he can't handle it. He has a shutdown.

I sat him down a few times and just picked a topic out of thin air. Got my sources, got the material, and went to word to copy paste then modify. He can't do it or doesn't want to for whatever reason.

Now with GPTChat is it EVEN easier. You can take the key words and ask it to write a report. Copy paste and modify.

My mind is blown.

 

[The Lorax]

Sounds like he's intelligent though.
Unfortunately it's easy for people to end up thinking real life works like that--I'm afraid schools don't teach learning so mcuh as the y tea

Your boy sounds remarkably intelligent. Congratulations to him for at least passing.
I confess I was a lot like that when I was a little guy. I still have trouble now--when I'm in good shape, college is fine and I will work like a cart-horse but when mentally I run out of everything at once, I just do the Bare Minimum and maybe even not that.

What I had to do was finally go back to the doctor. I'm trying to put things together. I'm in college right now, in what is supposed to be my last semester, holding a respectable GPA from other semesters but failing this one. Mentally it wasn't good. I did not talk to my parents about much because they either freak out or they dont get it. My father is bad about trying to interpret everything through the lens of his experiences in the 1980s; those are valuable experiences but we are two completely different people.


The matter of "why do all this when I already know it" -- That right there tells me that your kid is very logical. School might not see it that way. I don't see it that way but I guarantee you in high school I'd be thinking the same--why be working to the standard of people who are lower I.Q. than yourself, if it's an academic thing? He might need to be challenged in school by something where "Being smart" doesn't get it, but "being capable of working with others" does. This is hard for lesson plans because group projects are always lousy.

I don't think the standard-issue high school is enough of a challenge for folks like your son. It's not engaging or whatever. Kids used to do 8 or 12 years of school and be done, and I do not think the good old USA school-to-jailhouse pipeline really offers a support for kids like that (or adults like that, either.)

I don't disagree with you here. Between my wife and I we understand quite a bit about how education should be. We both have degrees in fields that allow us to see how things should be. But they aren't even after 200 years of this country teaching. The worst part is that the issues are at the top not the bottom.

Our opinion..... reading, writing, math are the 3 things you need to do well when young. Everything else shouldn't be really graded. It should be taken but not graded. With these 3 you can do anything.

As for school..... here is the truth. Unless you plan on working for NASA, some huge law firm, be a CEO of some massive company that pays you tens of millions of dollars a year...... where you get your 4 year and your grades really don't matter. The only this that matters is where you get your masters and how many you have. In the real world people don't care about your GPA. From our observation and experience. You go to that interview and show critical thinking skills to the person that matters with being educated you will get the job.

If I ran a company sure I would look at the degree but I also would look at how well the person thinks. I can't tell you how many people I met with masters degrees that no one was home. It's like they were good students and memorized what they needed to know and that's it.

Then I know people with no degree or just a 4 year who's critical thinking skills are off the chart and I would hire them over the other guy.

That degree gets you past the A.I. resume qualifier program.

Question.... what is the reason why you are gung ho sometimes and blah other times with school? Is it just medication? Brain fog due to neurology? Depression? Anxiety? Do the chemical swings come in waves or is it just accumulation of stress that gets to a point you can't handle?

 

[The Lorax]

This reminds me a little of the stereotype of the very pretty, curvaceous and healthy looking blonde scenario.Why develop a personality or work hard in other ways, as I am so gifted with my genetic born looks, or in the son's case, my intelligence. That will take me everywhere in life I want to be. Why waste my efforts in those other areas, these person's could think.

But, yes, the huge difference is those with Autism may have much more difficulties adapting and in changing any or many ways, than for neurotypicals, so I take that into consideration too.

But, the theory of minimum effort and maximum return does not always work for many things in life. It may take us to higher places at times, yes, and we may develop some self esteem there, but often person's will be judged not by just one great thing. Person's may judge us by digging deeper or need more than that one big ability, as that could mean lots of issues elsewhere.

I do understand though that few person's rarely have everything, but I admit in my case, I felt any good to great grades I received meant little other than showing some hard work I did studying prior to the tests, which gave me more self esteem than even the grades themselves. But your son is from what it seems focused more on grades than effort.

I admit, others in my past and people in school and elsewhere in my life would keep commenting on either the negatives about my very shy and timid looks, or small stature, which I clearly saw, too, worsening my self esteem, but at times they mentioned the positives about my looks though which I did not see. Regardless, I wanted to be defined by other things, which others could not see.

So, from it sounds like, in your case your son either wants or needs to be seen for his intelligence or wants for things to come easy for him doing little physical or mental exertion, to show intelligence there, or in the opposite case he wants a bigger challenge, something he can be more proud of or that interests him more, not wanting something in between which bores or drains him. That might makes sense if black and white thinking is involved.

I just do not see how much long term good will come from a student who seems more focused on grades and less self motivated or with less energy to do all the work, or to focus on other issues that need to be addressed too. In life, sometimes we will have to do the boring stuff or things we do not like. It is not reasonable to want or need everything our way--or one way. Some accommodation is fine, but when will we keep wanting more and more.

Employers are smart enough to know grades do not mean everything. Is the employee self-motivated, communicative, flexible, reliable, full of zest or energy? Does he need many accommodations? They also may look for positive attitude, listening ability, and ability to follow instructions and do what is best for the company instead of themselves.

Of course other employers though may value your son if they see him as some brilliant employee to do things effectively and efficiently, and one who seems advanced with his knowledge there in that field too, and if he can solve problems they need help with. I cannot recall though what your son's specialty or hyperfocus of interest seems to be as of yet.

I just know part of the reason we homeschooled our son's is they have their own hyperfocuses of interest, and each wants or needs to do things differently than what would be allowed at school, and as frankly, we would not trust any official anyway who said things were just fine and rosy there. School officials are not going to admit any bullying or teaching wrongs there. At least though your son's teachers though seem to be somewhat flexible.

From the sound of it, your son wants to be seen as intellectually smart, but what is being overlooked is many other issues that contributes to his inability to adhere to certain reasonable requests and typical norms. The parents and school system seem to be focusing on his positives or his potential, but not addressing the Autism components that are the reason behind some of these difficulties and intolerances, thinking he will snap out of it or it is not important to talk about.

But, having precise answers what to do could be hard to figure out if all involved do not communicate effectively with each other, the difficulties, desires and needs, and if you all assume things, which could be far from reality. I know the op is trying really hard, and is more flexible than most parents would , and they need relief, but the son needs to realize that he is part of the problem if he thinks his ability to retain information means everything.

It does not, if applying what one learned does not occur, or if the other important issues seem to be of little or no priority or unable to be resolved or bettered without making matters worse.

You got it on the nose... I think.... he has no motivation. He wants to be that "A" student. He doesn't want to do the work or it stressed him out too much.

I gave him lots of options that he can do himself, work for himself, make his own money. He can do what he likes and be successful by 25.

I highly suspect he got my school genes and not my straight "A" wife's genes. I had little motivation for school and did the minimum till I was 25. I swapped majors 3x.

The difference is I didn't have me for a father. My parents were not involved in my education. I had zero guidance and help. College was cheap back then. Our school system sucked where I was raised.

My son has all our help. We are hoping when he turns 16-17 things will change. The private school has been great with him. He ended with AABBBC grades. I forgot he got a free class that counts. But 2 weeks ago he was AACFF

 

[Gerontius]

I don't disagree with you here. Between my wife and I we understand quite a bit about how education should be. We both have degrees in fields that allow us to see how things should be. But they aren't even after 200 years of this country teaching. The worst part is that the issues are at the top not the bottom.

Our opinion..... reading, writing, math are the 3 things you need to do well when young. Everything else shouldn't be really graded. It should be taken but not graded. With these 3 you can do anything.

As for school..... here is the truth. Unless you plan on working for NASA, some huge law firm, be a CEO of some massive company that pays you tens of millions of dollars a year...... where you get your 4 year and your grades really don't matter. The only this that matters is where you get your masters and how many you have. In the real world people don't care about your GPA. From our observation and experience. You go to that interview and show critical thinking skills to the person that matters with being educated you will get the job.

If I ran a company sure I would look at the degree but I also would look at how well the person thinks. I can't tell you how many people I met with masters degrees that no one was home. It's like they were good students and memorized what they needed to know and that's it.

Then I know people with no degree or just a 4 year who's critical thinking skills are off the chart and I would hire them over the other guy.

That degree gets you past the A.I. resume qualifier program.

Question.... what is the reason why you are gung ho sometimes and blah other times with school? Is it just medication? Brain fog due to neurology? Depression? Anxiety? Do the chemical swings come in waves or is it just accumulation of stress that gets to a point you can't handle?

Hi. I owe you a decent answer on this one, and have been thinking about it.
I'm depressed. College seems meaningless at this point due to a combination of being stuck at the family house, being 24, being tired of listening to my father blame everyone else for his issues. Also, this is a religious college, and I ended up eventually burning out.

 

[Aspychata]

Motivation could be , do you want to be independent and live on your own, maybe own your place? How about you try applying yourself more? To assignments, to researching colleges, etc. Start getting a plan for a career, and a trajectory to get there. Explain that scholarships can be applied for, with his transcripts submitted . Build the fire under him to get him motivated. You can't force motivation.

My daughter didn't want to get her license, so l said look, l am giving you my old car. She suddenly was motivated. She then applied for jobs on her own. Now she was accepted for graduate school. But we didn't micromanage, and we didn't hoover, the child definitely has to get to that point on their own.

 

[The Lorax]

Hi. I owe you a decent answer on this one, and have been thinking about it.
I'm depressed. College seems meaningless at this point due to a combination of being stuck at the family house, being 24, being tired of listening to my father blame everyone else for his issues. Also, this is a religious college, and I ended up eventually burning out.

What is your major?

 

[The Lorax]

Here is the deal for all of you that are young and studying. The costs of living today are far higher than they were when I was a kid. When I was a kid they were higher than 20 years before that.

In my time, 2 people could work at the supermarket as stockmen, rent an apartment, have a car, and got to school.

Today? Not even close. I did a project with my son for school 3 years ago or so.
#1 just got out of college with a 4 year
#2 you have the average starting salary of $33k
#3 see where you can live and your costs.

Well it was easy because I have that in my excel sheet for our bills.

I was floored at what I discovered.
My son could only rent a studio, in a bad neighborhood behind the strip bar with a roommate. He could afford a used Yaris, simple cell phone, and internet. He has $100 left over each month. This was BEFORE COVID. Now he couldn't even afford this.

I couldn't believe it so I recalculated it several times. It was right. When I got my real job I saved up at home and bought a condo for $80k in the year 2000. It was a nice condo too. That same condo is now $275,000. I just looked it up.

The point is that this young generation, which will include my son, has it very difficult. You go through all this school for 22 years, get out with a degree, and it is worthless to get your own place. I can't even imagine how terrible that must feel. When I had my first place it was the most amazing feel I ever had and it transformed me. It gave me confidence I never had before. The psychological power of standing on your own 2 feet away from your parents is powerful.

The young generation can't do that.

We are considering getting a larger home because my son won't be able to afford to buy anything where we live. Even if we move to a smaller cheaper town he couldn't afford to buy a home for himself there either. It's insane.
So I understand the sense of hopelessness sit being at home with parents.

What I can say is just save, save, save. From all the market data I am following we are on the edge of a giant correction. Many indicators are indicating we are turning. Home prices will drop. It will be your chance to invest in the down market and possible buy a place. Just save money until you have a down payment. Even if it is some condo.

I feel for all the young people.

My father worked as a gopher for a newspaper in the 50s until he got a real job. Even he was able to live on his own doing that. Things have changed.

 

[Gerontius]

What is your major?

English in the Humanities, & Philosophy. It's a double major. Some summers I worked at it without taking a break, just to be done. This habit of 5 classes every semester has about wiped me out & has not helped my grades any at all.

Philosophy is interesting but it's got to the point I'm burning out on it. First semester in the school a guy I was taking a Psychology class with decided to tell all my friends that I was autistic & therefore incapable of feeling empathy. He aspires to write for some famous "apologist" or something; personally I get tired of taking orders from celebrity apologists mainly because they get paid to talk. The culture of these Newman Guide colleges, deliberately reactionary, is dedicated to handing on a tradition consisting of whatever retroactively gets deemed Traditional. You have Medieval theology, Reformation-era liturgy, Victorian social mores, and the clothing & lifestyle of the postwar period. And nobody is happy.

English literature is fascinating--but in the college I'm at, it's really turning into "only Catholic perspectives" which is awkward considering that England has had a longstanding Protestant heritage going back to the time of Henry VIII, and that there is a massive body of literature that will probably never be discussed in this major as it would upset the theology-bros at their breakfast. Look up "Theo-Bros" (I cannot post the Urban Dictionary link here; it's crassly accurate).

If I sound like a raving lefty on this forum sometimes, please don't look at the way I used to think. I grew up ultra-conservative and went to college at a very conservative school, and it was all this conservatism juxtaposed with actual real life that made me bail out. I'm 24, got my whole life ahead of me; I'm too young to go down with the ship.

 

[Gerontius]

Here is the deal for all of you that are young and studying. The costs of living today are far higher than they were when I was a kid. When I was a kid they were higher than 20 years before that.

In my time, 2 people could work at the supermarket as stockmen, rent an apartment, have a car, and got to school.

Today? Not even close. I did a project with my son for school 3 years ago or so.
#1 just got out of college with a 4 year
#2 you have the average starting salary of $33k
#3 see where you can live and your costs.

Well it was easy because I have that in my excel sheet for our bills.

I was floored at what I discovered.
My son could only rent a studio, in a bad neighborhood behind the strip bar with a roommate. He could afford a used Yaris, simple cell phone, and internet. He has $100 left over each month. This was BEFORE COVID. Now he couldn't even afford this.

I couldn't believe it so I recalculated it several times. It was right. When I got my real job I saved up at home and bought a condo for $80k in the year 2000. It was a nice condo too. That same condo is now $275,000. I just looked it up.

The point is that this young generation, which will include my son, has it very difficult. You go through all this school for 22 years, get out with a degree, and it is worthless to get your own place. I can't even imagine how terrible that must feel. When I had my first place it was the most amazing feel I ever had and it transformed me. It gave me confidence I never had before. The psychological power of standing on your own 2 feet away from your parents is powerful.

The young generation can't do that.

We are considering getting a larger home because my son won't be able to afford to buy anything where we live. Even if we move to a smaller cheaper town he couldn't afford to buy a home for himself there either. It's insane.
So I understand the sense of hopelessness sit being at home with parents.

What I can say is just save, save, save. From all the market data I am following we are on the edge of a giant correction. Many indicators are indicating we are turning. Home prices will drop. It will be your chance to invest in the down market and possible buy a place. Just save money until you have a down payment. Even if it is some condo.

I feel for all the young people.

My father worked as a gopher for a newspaper in the 50s until he got a real job. Even he was able to live on his own doing that. Things have changed.

Right sir. The minimum wage of $1.25 in the 1950s or 1960s was actually not so bad considering it's closer to around $21.64 today (roughly.) Thinking of that, this $15/hour stuff everyone feels so Godly fighting for, is a damn racket. Money is useless if it's worthless; barter and swap meets are the thinking man's economy in these times.

I am angry, tired, and sad. I'm depressed frequently, but the doctor's helped me a lot with that--same with the medicine I take. I'm probably going to start my own household eventually when I marry. (The girlfriend is most enthusiastic about becoming a fiancee soon, and from then, a bride. I am happy about her, and hope to be able to give her a safe place to flower into a competent and capable young woman. She was overly sheltered, and infantilized while growing up--It's really sad, but her parents were like "oop! she's autistic; let's give her very little actual skills and shelter her from everything," which if you want to ruin someone's life is a great way to go about it.


I am in the process of stopping my college education for a bit, getting myself a full-time job, and finishing a few classes at a time as I graduate.
As for a house, I will probably end up having to buy an old dump & renovate it myself, or end up buying land and going from scratch. It probably won't be a stick-frame Queen Anne either; probably closer along the lines to a cob building which is rammed earth and strawbale construction (think along the lines of the first little pig in the story, except if he'd read Mother Earth News instead of Mother Goose.)

It is hell on little roller skates out there for young men who want to do something. And I am not sure about joining a trade because I have done full-time work in the auto industry before and do not fit in. I had to sit by my window a few nights with a loaded 12-gauge because "coworkers," or the part-time help from the private school, figured out where I lived & were terrorizing the house. Guess it's my fault for having a functioning work ethic & driving a small car instead of a giant squatted truck like they did. I absolutely despise working among other people who all see me and think "ooh look, a white man with a strong Southern accent; let's go tell him how much we hate minorities, non-Protestants, and libruls too, and how much we love Trump." Well, as an asexual autistic Catholic who votes for the Democrats at this point and values a college education in the arts no matter how much mental anguish it's putting me through, don't you think I feel a trifle out of place?

The rest of the South can go to perdition but I for my part would like to eventually pull up stakes & move to Vermont. This whole thing just feels absolutely rigged & I would not be surprised if there are riots someday in the near future.

 

[The Lorax]

Autistic people don't lack empathy. They have the same ability as everyone else. I would argue they might feel more because they suffer and thus know what it is to suffer. I find those that suffer tend to have more empathy than if you were born with a silver spoon up your exit hole.

I wouldn't worry about if people think you are a lefty or not.

Yea I don't want to live in that area either. South East Florida is primarily blue or red with only some maga crowd.

I will tell you the truth here. You picked some degrees you are going to have a hard time making good money with. STEM is more lucrative.

But if you find something you love to do with the degree you should be good to go. Passion can make money.

You could teach? But that depends if you can take people for that long. You could be a substitute teacher until you figure out what to do.

 

[Jordy]

English in the Humanities, & Philosophy. It's a double major. Some summers I worked at it without taking a break, just to be done. This habit of 5 classes every semester has about wiped me out & has not helped my grades any at all.

Philosophy is interesting but it's got to the point I'm burning out on it. First semester in the school a guy I was taking a Psychology class with decided to tell all my friends that I was autistic & therefore incapable of feeling empathy. He aspires to write for some famous "apologist" or something; personally I get tired of taking orders from celebrity apologists mainly because they get paid to talk. The culture of these Newman Guide colleges, deliberately reactionary, is dedicated to handing on a tradition consisting of whatever retroactively gets deemed Traditional. You have Medieval theology, Reformation-era liturgy, Victorian social mores, and the clothing & lifestyle of the postwar period. And nobody is happy.

English literature is fascinating--but in the college I'm at, it's really turning into "only Catholic perspectives" which is awkward considering that England has had a longstanding Protestant heritage going back to the time of Henry VIII, and that there is a massive body of literature that will probably never be discussed in this major as it would upset the theology-bros at their breakfast. Look up "Theo-Bros" (I cannot post the Urban Dictionary link here; it's crassly accurate).

If I sound like a raving lefty on this forum sometimes, please don't look at the way I used to think. I grew up ultra-conservative and went to college at a very conservative school, and it was all this conservatism juxtaposed with actual real life that made me bail out. I'm 24, got my whole life ahead of me; I'm too young to go down with the ship.

You attend the only conservative college in the US?