Hello

[Cassidy Hooper]

Hello, my name is Cassidy. I'm from Mississippi. I'm new to this site. I have Asperger's Syndrome and I'm 21 years old. I have difficulty with independent living skills. I still live with my parents. I want to become more independent, but my parents do not think I'm ready to live on my own. Also, I don't drive. I was in a terrible car accident that almost killed me and my mom. Luckily, we are okay. Though, my mom and dad don't even want to talk about the thought of me driving again. This accident happened when I first got my learner's permit. I feel that not driving is an obstacle for me as far as having a social life and making friends. I went to vocational rehab in my state, but by the end of the program, I still didn't have a job. I currently take all online classes at a local community college. I start taking classes on campus next semester(spring). There's no public transportation in my area because I live in a very small town with no resources. I don't want to keep depending on my parents for everything and want a more independent,social life. What is your advice? What should I do?

 

[AsheSkyler]

Unless you're in the middle of town, I can see how not having a car might be an issue. Are you close enough that a bicycle be helpful for you? And are the hills kind enough? I know Mississippi and Alabama (my home!) aren't as bad as Tennessee, but I wouldn't want to bike a lot of them.

I wouldn't say vehicles are a complete write-off yet. How many friends or relatives do you have out in the country with big fields and relatively flat places? Go-Karts are slow, and most ATVs don't get above 30mph unless you push it, you could go back to practicing on them to help work out whatever kinks you had that lead to the wreck. (Assuming that was your fault, it's partially implied anyway.) Maybe even set up a partial course in a field for you to practice in with a truck or something until you're road-ready. If you have access to the same kind of rednecks I do, not only could you learn how to drive, you could learn quite a bit above the usual car maintenance. My full education is still pending, but I know how to change brake pads and rotors by myself! =)

What precisely are you having issues with on being independent? Income, bills, budgeting, repair, necessity shopping...?

 

[Cassidy Hooper]

Unless you're in the middle of town, I can see how not having a car might be an issue. Are you close enough that a bicycle be helpful for you? And are the hills kind enough? I know Mississippi and Alabama (my home!) aren't as bad as Tennessee, but I wouldn't want to bike a lot of them.

I wouldn't say vehicles are a complete write-off yet. How many friends or relatives do you have out in the country with big fields and relatively flat places? Go-Karts are slow, and most ATVs don't get above 30mph unless you push it, you could go back to practicing on them to help work out whatever kinks you had that lead to the wreck. (Assuming that was your fault, it's partially implied anyway.) Maybe even set up a partial course in a field for you to practice in with a truck or something until you're road-ready. If you have access to the same kind of rednecks I do, not only could you learn how to drive, you could learn quite a bit above the usual car maintenance. My full education is still pending, but I know how to change brake pads and rotors by myself! =)

What precisely are you having issues with on being independent? Income, bills, budgeting, repair, necessity shopping...?

No, I live way out in the country. Not close to town. There is an app for the iPad coming out that teaches people with Asperger's, ADHD, and other similar disabilities how to drive, but I still worry about not having actual behind the wheel experience. Here's the app's website. Drive Fit - Cognitive Training Tools - Cognitive Training for improved driving performance It teaches you only the critical things you need to pay attention to on the road. It also measures response time, etc. Exactly what I have difficulty with. People with Asperger's have difficulty with their response time and paying attention to everything that is in their path on the road. This app is suppose to help with that. Idk. The only problem is I don't have an iPad.

 

[Suzanne]

In a certain way, we are very similar. I say: certain, because I do not drive and live where buses are not frequent and even if they were, my chronic social phobia, tends to stop me!

I am 44 and married but feel trapped because I can only rely on my husband and he doesn't like to drive to places and so I find myself needing a small item of something and can't just go and get it, which tends to make me feel very inferior and worthless!

My birth place in the UK, there was no need to drive and despite social phobia, as long as I had sun glasses on and a book in hand, I could deal with it.

I now live in France and have done for nearly 13 years and it is not a wonderful journey for me! Were we used to live, I had excuses to not get around, but we now live in a small village and the drs and chemist and baker shop, is literally, just a walk away and yet, guess what? I have to coax myself mentally, to just do those walks and so, how social phobia hits me hard, because it is in my face! However saying that, at first, my husband would make me go to the baker, but he is not anymore, so that is a relief.

Discovering I am an aspie is helping, because even though my husband, does not want to involve himself, when I really think about it, he is doing little things, like just going to the bakers and not pushing me.



Sadly I cannot offer any advice, because I do not know the laws in your country.

 

[Suzanne]

paying attention to everything that is in their path on the road.

So that is why I found practicing the highway code so very difficult and in French too! I could not cope with the sheer volume that I had to look out for, on the screen and so, many times failed, which told me, that it was no good!

My husband also says that I lack observation and I am thinking: but I do not, because I am so hyper aware due to fearing looking stupid, that I end up being very observant lol but yep, I do also lack it too

 

[AsheSkyler]

No, I live way out in the country. Not close to town. There is an app for the iPad coming out that teaches people with Asperger's, ADHD, and other similar disabilities how to drive, but I still worry about not having actual behind the wheel experience. Here's the app's website. Drive Fit - Cognitive Training Tools - Cognitive Training for improved driving performance It teaches you only the critical things you need to pay attention to on the road. It also measures response time, etc. Exactly what I have difficulty with. People with Asperger's have difficulty with their response time and paying attention to everything that is in their path on the road. This app is suppose to help with that. Idk. The only problem is I don't have an iPad.

Eek, response time... I can see how processing speed would be a wee bit of an issue. Since it's a bit like a game, can't you play also play a couple other games requiring quick reaction time to help build it up? Even something simple like the children's game "Red Light, Green Light" would be a good starting place.