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Hello, new to this forum and the spectrum

Digger

Active Member
Hi everyone.

I've just had an assessment today with an Aspergers charity and been told that I have Aspergers. It's not a formal diagnosis, I was told that there was no benefit to having one at this point although there may be in the future. But I had a good chat with the expert lady and she was lovely. My husband and I have been thinking for a while that I might have it but the NHS haven't been very helpful, so we went to this charity.

The charity recommended I chat to other women with Aspergers and get to know more about it and try to find strategies to make like easier ('weak executive function' is my main issue). So it would be nice to chat to people anywhere in the world.

I'm 33 btw (would have been nice to know about this 25 years ago!!), I have a lovely husband and two beautiful daughters, and a lazy cat.
 
Welcome Digger :)

The person you had spoken to seems to be quite informed about AS. Yes, there tends to be a few differences between typical male Aspie traits, and typical female Aspie traits. I'm sure there are many female members here, who you should relate well with. If you haven't already, I recommend starting a new thread, outside of the "Introduction" section, as you may find you'll get more responses then.

I've included a few links below, which may be of interest to you:

Resources: Autism & Asperger's Resources | AspiesCentral.com

AS for females:

Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

Day 62: Females with Asperger’s Syndrome (Non-Official) Checklist | Everyday Asperger's

Tony Attwood: Home
 
Hi Digger

I am a relatively new member here, and so far, finding it a haven of peace.

I am unofficial, but know I have aspergers.

My biggest hurdle is being social phobic to the extreme, cannot cope with general people and how they behave!

My husband of 23 year's, is trying to wrap his head around it all and so, in the meantime, I experience many meltdowns, because he just cannot fathom that I would react over the top, for things, that to him, are no big deal.

Since I first came upon the word: Aspergers, some 5 year's back now, I have learned a lot about it and as Vanilla says, female aspies differ from male aspies and also, the medical field do not really recognise female aspies. A lady I know, who's son is aspergers echoed that it is rare to find a female with aspergers and yet, she knows I am aspergers!!!

Female aspies are able to mimic rather well others, and that serious is the story of my life! Sometimes one could mistake me for an NT until they get to know me!

One woman said that it is a shame people do not take the time to get to know me, because they would find a very intelligent woman!! Thanks a bunch lol but hey, I know that I come across as an airhead most of the time!
 
Haha, I know what you mean, sometimes I do things that seem really stupid to other people. But the smallest thing can be so confusing! Nice to 'meet' you anyway. I'm glad to have found a place where I feel like people understand what I'm going through.

I don't struggle so much with the social side. It's not my favourite but I can just about cope as long as I don't have to do it more than once or twice a week. Parties and things like that take me ages to recover from. Organisation is my main problem. And my memory! Sheesh. My eldest daughter is always complaining that she has to ask me 8 times to get her a drink. I wish she would ask me when I'm not in the middle of something else! :D
 
Haha, I know what you mean, sometimes I do things that seem really stupid to other people. But the smallest thing can be so confusing! Nice to 'meet' you anyway. I'm glad to have found a place where I feel like people understand what I'm going through.

I don't struggle so much with the social side. It's not my favourite but I can just about cope as long as I don't have to do it more than once or twice a week. Parties and things like that take me ages to recover from. Organisation is my main problem. And my memory! Sheesh. My eldest daughter is always complaining that she has to ask me 8 times to get her a drink. I wish she would ask me when I'm not in the middle of something else! :D

When I was in my own country, I just about coped with being outside by myself; as long as I could wear dark glasses or and listen to music and or, have reading matter, I was fine, but I moved to France (not a personal choice) and just cannot deal with it at all.

My husband has often sharply told me to lower my voice with a heavy frown of annoyance and say: for goodness sake, I cannot fathom why when you get are in the same room, do not regulate your voice. I always put it down to the fact that I am the eldest of 5 but it blew me away, when I read it is an aspie thing and now, although he is still harsh, he says: I am in this room now and uses his hand to tell me to lower my volume and it does work and makes me less, freaked out!

I have a really bad short term memory and often burning things, which winds him up!
 

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