Hello. My recent diagnosis.

[ghostie]

Hello. When I was younger I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and depression, anxiety, etc. I struggled for decades under this wrong diagnosis and the accordingly unsuccessful treatments I was able to get over the years. I was really in a downward spiral until about a year ago and spent a few weeks in an inpatient unit. I had an epiphany in the hospital that I am allowed to do the things I want to do and I don't need permission (ridiculous epiphany to have in my 30s I know, but sometimes I catch on slowly to certain things)

Anyways, first thing I did when I got out was get a cat which is something I had wanted to do for years but had never been able to overcome the mental hurdles I needed to to be able to take care of one. I am so thankful I did because she's been the superhero that's held me together in the last few months as I continued yet further down the spiral until I just lost my job two months ago and have been waiting for a long time for EI benefits for my lost work.

Because of the misdiagnosis, I spent so long trying to change who I was (I didn't like when the Dr. said I had BPD, it didn't feel like me, but instead of realizing that it was because it WASN'T me, I just tried to change the things about myself that made me different thinking that would make the diagnosis go away.) I was constantly at war with myself.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's two weeks ago. One of the things the psychiatrist said was that it's not about changing who I am and that is the first time anyone in the mental health care industry had said anything like that to me. It completely reshaped the way I think about myself and now instead of being a person with depression and anxiety that also had a bunch of weird, eccentric quirks that make socializing next to impossible, I'm a person with Autism and I'm learning that for the first time in my life, I'm becoming ok with who I am.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Nitro]

Hi ghostie

 

[tree]

 

[Streetwise]

Hello. When I was younger I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and depression, anxiety, etc. I struggled for decades under this wrong diagnosis and the accordingly unsuccessful treatments I was able to get over the years. I was really in a downward spiral until about a year ago and spent a few weeks in an inpatient unit. I had an epiphany in the hospital that I am allowed to do the things I want to do and I don't need permission (ridiculous epiphany to have in my 30s I know, but sometimes I catch on slowly to certain things)

Anyways, first thing I did when I got out was get a cat which is something I had wanted to do for years but had never been able to overcome the mental hurdles I needed to to be able to take care of one. I am so thankful I did because she's been the superhero that's held me together in the last few months as I continued yet further down the spiral until I just lost my job two months ago and have been waiting for a long time for EI benefits for my lost work.

Because of the misdiagnosis, I spent so long trying to change who I was (I didn't like when the Dr. said I had BPD, it didn't feel like me, but instead of realizing that it was because it WASN'T me, I just tried to change the things about myself that made me different thinking that would make the diagnosis go away.) I was constantly at war with myself.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's two weeks ago. One of the things the psychiatrist said was that it's not about changing who I am and that is the first time anyone in the mental health care industry had said anything like that to me. It completely reshaped the way I think about myself and now instead of being a person with depression and anxiety that also had a bunch of weird, eccentric quirks that make socializing next to impossible, I'm a person with Autism and I'm learning that for the first time in my life, I'm becoming ok with who I am.

Thanks for reading.

 

[LateBloomer]

Welcome Ghostie , I was diagnosed later in life and it was the first thing that made sense to me in a long time . Welcome to the journey , things will get better . Being autistic and not knowing it is like being at the controls of a 747 ( with no training ) and everyone in back trying to tell you what to do .

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[Pats]

Hi Ghosty and welcome. I was 59 at the time of my diagnosis, and that's when I was finally able to stop fighting myself and accept who I was, also. I thought there were certain things everyone HAS to do (like socialize) and couldn't accept that I don't easily socialize. Now that I know why, I can accept that I don't better.

 

[Wolfnox]

Hello. Like your name.

 

[Rectify]

Welcome to the forum @ghostie

 

[Peter Morrison]

Welcome Ghostie! I was diagnosed with dyslexia in my youth, but never understood what to do about it. Recently, I was diagnosed with mild Autism, depression, and anxiety. I discovered I had Aspergers (self diagnosed) more than a year ago. The diagnosis is a bit melancholy for me, as if I were happy knowing for sure that I have abnormal brain activity and a perpetual depressive condition. To my credit, though, I have had to live my life with these conditions and have managed to grasp the reality of facing them each day. The only thing that benefits me now is that I understand what is going on with me and it has a name. It changes nothing, except that I can focus my energy on identifiable aspects of these conditions.

I like your post here. It's nice to read about the positive experiences related to ASD. In this case it is new-found freedom and the clarity that comes from a proper diagnosis. If you stick around on this forum, you are likely to experience many more epiphanies. It's like the lens test at the eye doctor - "clear, unclear, clearer, clearer again". Congratulations.

 

[ghostie]

Thanks so much for the warm welcome everyone!