Hello, my name is Brian, I am new here.

[tree]

@Wizardry

Maybe some female who is equally desperate will
recognize and cherish the understated commonalities
she and he share.

 

[Wizardry]

@Wizardry

Maybe some female who is equally desperate will
recognize and cherish the understated commonalities
she and he share.

That isn't impossible, and it's probably what he'd have to hope for given his current approach, but it isn't particularly likely. Someone doesn't become desperate unless they have very few or no prospective dating options, so there would likely have to be a reason why this hypothetical woman isn't able to get any dating traction with other men.

The male dating role is more punishing of autistic difficulties than the female dating role, so autistic men are structurally excluded from the dating market at higher rates than autistic women. Moreover, men on aggregate tend to care less about women's career, income and ambition than vice-versa and tend to prioritise physical attractiveness over these things, so dating bottlenecks are not equally distributed among both genders.

Again, it isn't impossible that he would meet someone in the same situation, but the statistics don't favour that outcome as likely.

 

[tree]

Post #161 should be read with a heavy emphasis
on the first word of the sentence.

How two people who require extensive drawing
out would manage to engage, I don't know.

 

[BrianWV39]

It is hard not to give advice, particularly for problem-solving aspie males, but I'm working on it.
I am not sure what else to say in this thread, other than good luck with your endeavours.

Thank you so very much that is wonderfully kind of you.

 

[BrianWV39]

Sometimes the order in which certain facts are revealed matters. Revealing certain things too early like desperation is likely to turn people off, even those who may otherwise have given you a chance if you had been more deliberate about how you presented yourself originally. Clear desperation in a prospective partner is almost always a turnoff or red flag for people who have dating options and are not desperate themselves. There tend to be a higher amount of desperate, chronically single men than women due to a variety of factors.

I imagine most of what I say will fall on deaf ears, but it kind of pains me to see someone stubbornly pursuing an ineffective strategy that ignores how the dating market functions and what actually motivates people to choose the partners they choose.

Thank you I am just doing my best. Thank you for being so kind.