Hello, my name is Brian, I am new here.

[Tired]

Great the more you let others on here know about you, the more enticing you get dribs and dabs, until some lady on here gets back to you privately.

I dont know, the more i read how all he does in free time is smokes weed and masturbates - the less i am interested. Well, clearly I am not a person for him.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I dont know, the more i read how all he does in free time is smokes weed and masturbates - the less i am interested. Well, clearly I am not a person for him.

Good that's the feedback he needs. What can he give to a relationship, not just what can he take.

 

[BrianWV39]

I dont know, the more i read how all he does in free time is smokes weed and masturbates - the less i am interested. Well, clearly I am not a person for him.

Thanks for the support

 

[BrianWV39]

Good that's the feedback he needs. What can he give to a relationship, not just what can he take.

Trust me I already the vast majority of women do not want to date me. I am looking for the ones that do

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

If you have what they want, I had what my future wife wanted, she had a dead end job, took a cheap room in my rooming house, Saw the potential in me, her previous boyfriends had no ambition, were happy to just float through life. After We meet we boot strapped each other, first she quit her job moved up, Then I moved up to a better position, started going to night school for further education which impressed then we decided to start family. When I got my second diploma, herself she followed my lead went to night school herself while I took care of the kids. Her company paid for her courses. Would you be willing to help a lady in a situation who needs a helping hand or are you just looking for a homemaker.

 

[BrianWV39]

If you have what they want, I had what my future wife wanted, she had a dead end job, took a cheap room in my rooming house, Saw the potential in me, her previous boyfriends had no ambition, were happy to just float through life. After We meet we boot strapped each other, first she quit her job moved up, Then I moved up to a better position, started going to night school for further education which impressed then we decided to start family. When I got my second diploma, herself she followed my lead went to night school herself while I took care of the kids. Her company paid for her courses. Would you be willing to help a lady in a situation who needs a helping hand or are you just looking for a homemaker.

I'm not quite sure what you are asking here. But yes, I would be willing to help my future girlfriend out

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Exactly that is important a lot of ladies got screwed by their fathers and society in general, Even ladies on this site my wife's buddy very bright lady probably 140 IQ quits school in grade seven after failing twice nobody cared.

 

[BrianWV39]

Exactly that is important a lot of ladies got screwed by their fathers and society in general, Even ladies on this site my wife's buddy very bright lady probably 140 IQ quits school in grade seven after failing twice nobody cared.

I'm sorry. I really am not sure what you are talking about.

 

[Jonn]

My point being I still have no clue what type of woman would go for me. None have even had the slightest interest. Trying to talk to woman, chat with women, text with women, and writing with women has always felt like pulling teeth to me. I write or talk to them, and they give me the bare minimum back. It has just never felt natural, and none seem to actually enjoy talking to me I would kill just to meet a woman who enjoys spending time with me.

I think there is a high degree of luck involved with finding someone.
This was the case with me recently.

 

[Jonn]

So... in your 40 years no woman was ever interested in you, yet you dont want to do anything to make yourself more interesting and just want to continue doing the same thing?

His emphasis is on finding the right person.

Cool, to be honest I am not sure a woman has ever been intrigued by me. Would be nice. But I have never interested anyone yet. I have always been a bit too different, I guess. That is ok though. I don't think life is a race. I am just looking to meet the right person though. Both on here or anywhere else on the internet

You seem to be a very easy-going person who isn't easily offended.
They are good qualities to have, IMO.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm sorry. I really am not sure what you are talking about.

You are too new to this forum, do not want to overstep myself, look around forum and you will find what you seek.
handles make it difficult, make friends let us know who you are doing fine so far. By convesing with me you are indirectly, conversing with some who my be interested in you.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

His emphasis is on finding the right person.


You seem to be a very easy-going person who isn't easily offended.
They are good qualities to have, IMO.

Agree. I know a few ladies keeping it to themselves are watching this discussion, carefully seeing how he responds.

 

[Jonn]

Brian, you ever thought of learning some "game"? I'm not advocating full PUA (pick-up artist) stuff, but just basic dos and don'ts? The reason I say that is I see you doing a lot of the don'ts.

I have heard women tend to like straightforward honesty.
Brian seems to be showing a lot of that.

No I am not interested in learning any "game" or developing any social skill. I know who I am. I know what I offer. I just want to present myself and what I offer as much as possible and see if anyone is interested

I like your style.

 

[Jonn]

I am not the type to beg. If women do not like me that is ok. I am not going to force the issue. I am just looking for someone who does like me

This shows emotional stability/strength.
You have an internal locus of identity.
You know who you are and are comfortable with that.

 

[BrianWV39]

His emphasis is on finding the right person.


You seem to be a very easy-going person who isn't easily offended.
They are good qualities to have, IMO.

Thanks. At least online I probably can come across as high strung at times. Perhaps it is the nature of the internet. In truth I am a remarkably easy going and relaxed person. I am probably about the least competitive person most people will ever meet. This is not to say I do not have standards. I just take life easy.

I am glad it comes across sometimes. So, thank you.

 

[Jonn]

To be fair I know exactly why I have never had a girlfriend before. I am autistic. I do not connect with others the same way neurotypicals do. I do not have the same value system the vast majority of other people do. I really do not have an ego in any sense.

Well said.

I find it interesting that you said you don't have an excessive ego.
People may find this hard to believe, but neither do I.
My social prancing has more to do with creativity than trying to impress anyone.
I guess I am a dopamine addict, rather than a people person.

So, I seem to have two options. I can pretend to be somebody I just am not. Or I can focus on trying to find someone that does work for me.

I have no issue with this.
Why would I?

Although I am a very untraditional person I still think I offer many positives in a relationship. I know who I am, I am a kind person, I am a very non-competitive person. I am capable of love and giving my whole heart and soul to another person.

In many aspects, I can totally identify with you.

I am happy with my life. I am content with who I am and the lifestyle I lead. I have my personal issues. There is no doubt about that. In fact, I am willing to tell you all one of the personal issues I deal with. I am by nature an atheist. This unfortunately means that I believe nothing, but oblivion awaits me after death. Like I think all of us to one degree or another I really struggled with this reality in my middle teens.

I am an Existential Nihilist.
Pleased to meet you.

My solution, my salvation as it were, was to be found in love.

I would and have used the term "Finding Meaning", rather than love, but we are on the same page.

I figured if I gave my whole heart and soul to loving someone, I could at least make the most of my brief time in existence. I built my whole life around trying to find the right person to share my life with. I did not expect any one particular woman to love me; but I was relatively confident I could find someone to love me.

The problem is I did not know I was autistic. I had no clue how neurodivergent or unique I actually was. My way of understanding of the world was to explore how I viewed and thought about things and then try to project those thoughts and emotions on to others as a way of understanding how their internal dialog worked. Obviously, the whole problem was I am very different. I did not understand what other people wanted and valued.

Couples who are both on the spectrum may/should be in a better position to understand each other.

For example, I studied literature, poetry, and history in college. I figured what better way to get a girlfriend than to be well read and a romantic. In hindsight I should have just studied how to make money. In fact, I never concerned myself with money or a career one bit. Since I did not value a career or money I assumed everyone else was the same as me. I had no clue I was autistic and neurodivergent. I lead a lifestyle that appealed to me but did not appeal to women.

Financial security IS important, and if you don't have it, it does affect your chances.
But you have mentioned you will eventually inherit your family home.

I still do not value things like money, jobs, status, a career, ego or anything like that. And I rather stay single the rest of my life than to start to value those things. But I do still believe I offer enough and can make a great boyfriend to the right woman. I have no clue what she is like. I have no clue what she desires, I have no clue what her lifestyle is like. But I know in my heart that I can be great for someone.

Sincerity, honesty, and emotional stability.
These are good traits to have.

I think the best way to meet her is to be open and honest with people about who I am, what I offer, and the lifestyle I want to live. I am very happy to discuss what I am looking for and who I am at any time. I really enjoy it and I hope that someday the right person sees me online

I wish you all the best.

Cheers...

 

[Jonn]

Ok! Best wishes to you. You seem like a nice fellow -- a little misguided and naive, but kind at heart. I hope you manage to find someone you click with.

He comes across as a nice guy, but I am not sure he is naive about what he wants.
Rather, what he wants sounds like it is fairly scarce.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

All I can say check the site out, interesting place, I think what he wants is already here. trick is is he what they want, could be.

 

[Jonn]

I like sex, drugs, and rock and roll

My experience, as little as it is in romantic relationships, has taught me that sex isn't the thing most women want to focus on in a relationship.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My experience, as little as it is in romantic relationships, has taught me that sex isn't the thing most women want to focus on in a relationship.

Like money good sex helps.