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Hello! I'm new here.

Hi all! I'm a 40F who is currently recently self-diagnosed. Just had a very illuminating conversation with my father yesterday about what I was like as a kid that confirmed a whole lot of suspicions. Currently reading a few books on autism in women and going, 'Yup, that's me.'

So it seems that many of us (if I may use 'us,' being self-diagnosed) just naturally feel a whole lot of anxiety about a whole lot of things. I'm wondering if there are any simple things to do to reduce some of this anxiety. I'm already on meds, but they just take me from an 11/10 down to a 7-8 out of ten--definitely an improvement, but it would be nice to live with even less anxiety.
I take citalopram and mirtazapine but I still definitely need to talk therapy but that's a luxury.
 
Most of my anxieties have been psychological in nature. Over time, much of those issues that were once triggers for such behavior have gone away through a process of recognition, acceptance, and intellectual behavior modification. I am very lucky to not be affected by it like some others.

I do work with someone that I care about that is really struggling with her anxiety, is on meds,...and I know it isn't as simple as what I have described. She needs her meds. She has her good days and bad,...and when it is bad,...Wow,...she is a real "piece of work" to deal with. My "knee-jerk" response would be to yell at her for her behavior because it is a combination of paranoia, controlling, and neediness, and simple little daily problems quickly become a "big deal",...and it is physical,...she can't move her hands without shaking, her motor movements are affected, and, at times, it can be a bit scary being at the bedside with her. When you are dealing with babies that are sometimes less than a 1000g,...you can't be shaking while doing your simple daily tasks. I have to pause, speak softly and firmly, and am constantly in the mode of reassurance with her,...and being the protective "big brother" with my other co-workers who might not understand what is going on.

I think everyone expresses some anxiety and I don't know where you or anyone else lands upon that spectrum of psychological and physiological, or to what intensity it is. There is some good advice above. I wish I could give some advice here, but I do have some understanding and empathy. Best wishes.
 
Yes, I've tried general solutions for managing anxiety. They tend not to work very well, or in the moment I forget that they exist. I've had talk therapy for what seems like forever; the only thing that really helped was medication. I have Xanax to take when my anxiety gets really high, but it doesn't fully calm me down before it wears off. I am no good at exercise; I just end up feeling lousy when I try it.

The entire, 'You've done this/something like this before' is a strategy that does work sometimes--mostly surrounding travel, as travel really kicks up my anxiety. Much of my anxiety is also about loss of control; I'm a massive control freak.

For the past few years, I've mostly just forced myself through everything. But I burnt out badly, stopped some of my too many commitments, managed to get somewhat better, and then COVID hit. On one hand, I love it because working from home is the best thing ever. On the other hand, I'm not as good of a teacher (I'm a professor) online as I am in person. Plus there's just a whole lot of extra anxiety surrounding COVID.

I will admit to finding mindfulness eye-roll-worthy. Everyone says it should work, but when I try it, it just feels stupid to me. When I try to meditate, my mantra is generally, 'This is stupid...this is stupid...this is so stupid...god I could be doing so many things right now...why am I wasting time on this?' ...Which is not how you're supposed to meditate, I know, but it's what my mind does.
 
Be very, very careful with that Xanax. I had a sweet neighbor who overdosed on Xanax. She was babysitting her granddaughter, and collapsed on the kitchen floor. Her four year old granddaughter was alone with her as she died, and then several hours after all alone in the house with her dead grandmother. My friend was only 50 years old. Her teenage son, who was out with his friends, also became an orphan that day. Benzos are scary.
 
I started having panic attacks spontaneously at age 13.
There seemed to be no psychological reason for them, but, it did lead to fear of losing control
in public, which lead to agoraphobia and travell became very difficult.

No one thought about autism back then so I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety.
I gradually got better by age 18, but, the worry of those attacks stuck in my mind.
I went to University and had a short lived career as a pharmicist regardless.
The spontaneous attacks returned later in life and I was put on disability for them, plus
physical problems with my back.

The doctors found I had an HPA axis disorder that was causing what they called the invisible tiger.
Nervous system and brain chemicals which I couldn't control.
I'm 64 now and hardly ever have an attack.
Years of CBT therapy, learning relaxation techniques, guided imagery and daily time outs for meditation
is how I finally worked through it and built up my confidence in knowing I could handle it
if an attack happened in public or alone.

I have taken Xanax as a regular part of the course for many years.
Never had to increase the dose, in fact, brought the amount down some, but, no problems with it.
I'm very mindful with that.
It's just all been a part of life for me that I had to learn how to live with.

You have to find your individual path. And welcome to the forums. :)
 
Hello MTC! :)

Now that I am thinking more clearly, here is a list of things that help me manage my overwhelming anxiety:

- Fulfilling My Needs
- Laying down after needs are met
- Calming scents (frankincense and myrrh candle)

Needs are a very complex subject because not only do they need to be met, but they all need to be balanced to some degree. So when things are bad, it is important to spend time slowly meeting all of my needs instead of just focusing on one or two.

It is also very important to me to keep the correct level of mental stimulation throughout the process of meeting my needs. I do this by listening to music.

E.g. If I sleep too long, I need to get up and eat a little bit, then go outside, then eat a bit more, then get speak with someone and get some outside exercise, then come home and eat more.

Needs:
  1. Rest
  2. Nutrition (I.E. food and water)
  3. Social (talking to friendly people/people like me)
  4. Exercise
  5. Fresh Air
  6. Peace / Relaxation

I hope this is helpful, but like me, it is best for you to find which specifics are best for yourself. :)
 

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