Hello- I'm new and at my wits end!

[Mommyof4]

Hello everyone! I have a 16 year old son, PPD-NOS. What prompted me to join the community was from googling Autism and bed-wetting. My son wets the bed every night. Every night. He wears an adult nighttime pull-up. He leaks through it every night. And through his pajamas, sheets, blankets, waterproof mattress pads, 2 pillows and stuffed animals. Every night. We have used: bed-wetting alarms, bed-wetting alarm pads, medication, limiting liquids, waking him up in night, mental visualization books/techniques, essential oils, incentive charts/rewards and lots and lots of praying. The above still happens. Every night.

I have a 13 year old son not on the spectrum. Re-read the above as he experiences the same. Every night. We have been to a Urologist and all the tests have not shown any medical issues.

I have a 9 year old daughter who has only wet the bed once since age 4.

The boys do their own laundry. Every day. We do a minimum of 17 loads of laundry a week.

My house stinks. My washing machine is exhausted. I am exhausted. My boys are embarrassed and exhausted.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPP!

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

How do you respond to him when you find out hes done it?

Welcome.

 

[Nitro]

 

[WereBear]

There's considerable evidence that this can be a constipation issue; not a urinary one.

 

[Mommyof4]

How do you respond to him when you find out hes done it?

Welcome.

Thank you. Since it happens nightly, I actually don't have a response besides sometimes reminding him to put his laundry in the washing machine.

 

[Mommyof4]

Yes, I have questioned constipation which I felt may be the culprit on my 13 year old. However, we have tackled that with no improvement on the bed-wetting. My oldest, does not have any constipation issues-- in fact his OCD actually focuses on him using the bathroom-a lot. For example, he will sit on the toilet until he has a BM before bed. Always. Even if it takes an hour for something to come out. Oh-- I didn't mention that both boys also receive counseling.

 

[tree]

Have you had him checked for allergies?

A relative of mine said to tell anyone I cared to that he wet his
bed until he was 12. Then found out that he was allergic to cow
milk, in every form.

He didn't wet after that because he quit using.
Might be some other thing with your son, but worth looking into.

 

[Mommyof4]

Yes, my oldest we did a full allergy testing work-up a couple months ago and no allergies were found. None! Which surprised us all. He is intolerant to a lot of foods so I have those out of his diet already. But no true allergies.
I haven't however gotten my 13yr old allergy tested. I will add that to my list- thank you for the suggestion!

 

[tree]

Wheat is a problem to me.
That makes me pee with no awareness that it is happening.
No feeling of urgency.
Just...HEY, why are my legs wet? Oh.

So I don't eat wheat.

 

[Mr Allen]

I tend to find that if I have a big cup of coffee right before hitting the sack, I wee wee in the Bed, especially at the moment when I'm not sleeping due to a chest infection anyway.

 

[Mommyof4]

Wheat is a problem to me.
That makes me pee with no awareness that it is happening.
No feeling of urgency.
Just...HEY, why are my legs wet? Oh.

So I don't eat wheat.

Interesting! My oldest has been on a GF diet for years (it was a huge migraine trigger for him) But my 13 year old is not. Something else to consider- thanks!

 

[OkRad]

This makes me sad. Your son is almost an adult. He would be mortified if he knew you were posting this. Tell us about the good things about your sons. I bet they have some really cool gifts.

That said, it may help if you can do genetic testing. Apparently there are certain genes (13, 12, 8) which seem to be implicated in enuresis. However, that has not been definitively proven. Still, it may be of comfort for both of them to know it's not their fault. There are also programs such as TheraPee which devise buzzers and so forth. Then, of course, there are things like Depends which might obviate the need for excessive laundry.

I am sorry you are so stressed and that your children are enduring such a problem. It is far more emotionally distressing, I would think, than annoying and they have my sympathy. You are a good mom not to show anger or disgust or annoyance.

In the end, sometimes we have to live with our frailties. I have many which cannot be changed. And that means, my family matters to me most of all, their love and acceptance in a world that is quite harsh and not as accepting as we would be led to believe.

Keep trying all you can with love and acceptance and the joy in having two beautiful sons and a beautiful daughter.

 

[Gritches]

Welcome! Here's something you won't hear elsewhere, and it actually comes from a doctor:

Instead of limiting fluids, pack him full of fluids. Get him peeing a whole lot during the daytime, and after pissing like a racehorse for a few weeks his bladder muscles will be strong enough to hold him through the night.

Worked for my brother. My parents followed that doctor's advice and pumped him full of fluids. He peed like a dozen times a day, and after a while the bedwetting stopped completely, just like the doctor said.

 

[Mommyof4]

This makes me sad. Your son is almost an adult. He would be mortified if he knew you were posting this. Tell us about the good things about your sons. I bet they have some really cool gifts.

That said, it may help if you can do genetic testing. Apparently there are certain genes (13, 12, 8) which seem to be implicated in enuresis. However, that has not been definitively proven. Still, it may be of comfort for both of them to know it's not their fault. There are also programs such as TheraPee which devise buzzers and so forth. Then, of course, there are things like Depends which might obviate the need for excessive laundry.

I am sorry you are so stressed and that your children are enduring such a problem. It is far more emotionally distressing, I would think, than annoying and they have my sympathy. You are a good mom not to show anger or disgust or annoyance.

In the end, sometimes we have to live with our frailties. I have many which cannot be changed. And that means, my family matters to me most of all, their love and acceptance in a world that is quite harsh and not as accepting as we would be led to believe.

Keep trying all you can with love and acceptance and the joy in having two beautiful sons and a beautiful daughter.

 

[Mommyof4]

Yes it makes me sad too. Very sad. My sons are not at all mortified I'm posting this as they want advice and answers too and are not ashamed to ask for help. My 16 year old is at an 8 year old emotional level. We have used the expensive Therapee program and they wear Depends every night. And still leak. Their father wet the bed late into his childhood as well (but not nightly) so I know there is a genetic component to consider as well.
I have a 3 year old little guy as well but unsure if this will end up being a challenge for him.
Being a single mama of 4 is not walk in the park- I will continue to raise my children in love and acceptance-- they are all special and amazing individuals. I also won't stop looking for ways I can help them have the best life they can.

 

[Mommyof4]

We did

Welcome! Here's something you won't hear elsewhere, and it actually comes from a doctor:

Instead of limiting fluids, pack him full of fluids. Get him peeing a whole lot during the daytime, and after pissing like a racehorse for a few weeks his bladder muscles will be strong enough to hold him through the night.

Worked for my brother. My parents followed that doctor's advice and pumped him full of fluids. He peed like a dozen times a day, and after a while the bedwetting stopped completely, just like the doctor said.

did some bladder strengthening exercises w/my 13 year old but not to that extreme. It may be worth a shot for him. Thanks!

 

[Crossbreed]

@Mommyof4 , hello & welcome.
What is the mental age of your PDD son? My 23yo, LFA DD [SJ] has a mental age of 18 mos. She still wears pull-ups to bed. One pull-up hasn't been enough to contain her nighttime urine, so we double up on them. We cut a hole in the outer shell of the first one just below her urethra.

For a male, you may want to cut the hole more forward on the inner shorts.

I'm sorry that I don't have a more permanent solution to offer you.

 

[Eden]

Hi. My 13 year old Aspie son used to wet the bed. Sometimes nightly for months; it would come and go. I found it was related to his level of stress or anxiety. Sometime last year it just stopped. We have a solid behavior plan in place at school and at home so I think that hss reduced his stress level, so hence, no bedwetting.

Interestingly enough, I used to wet the bed consistently too up until I was about 17. A few accidents in college. Im NT, btw. We never got to the bottom of why, and even as a grown woman I barely make it to the bathroom sometimes bc I almost sleep right through it. In my case, I think I just have a weak bladder. So maybe it's that.

 

[Crossbreed]

Continued from my previous post-

Presently, SJ sleeps in a hospital recliner that flattens into a guest bed. It is waterproof, easy to clean & dry and does not absorb urine.

Prior to that, we used a nylon cot, then a nylon hammock for the same reasons. With two pull-ups, she still leaked sometimes, but she didn't puddle. If she would have, we could put a shallow trough underneath them. (The hammock could have concentrated everything towards the center.)