Hello, greetings from Germany

[Kemetic]

Good evening,

I registered on this forum because I'm looking for some answers.
I'm almost 40 years old, I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety in my twenties, but the doctors never mentioned Autism or Aspergers.
And I'm not sure if I'm simply a neurotypical antisocial nerd, or someone who is successfully masking a moderate form of autism.
In the end, it probably does not matter either way, I'm just curious and I'd like to have the right label applied. And perhaps people in this forum share some of my weird traits and have some ideas on how to manage them better.

So, traits that I have that seem to fit into the autism spectrum:
- epic temper tantrums as a small kid, easily frustrated if things don't go my way
- never made friends easily, and have trouble keeping in touch with the few I have
- spent most of my teen years reading in my room or roaming the local forest on my own.
- difficulty understanding someone's mood and terrible at remembering faces
- social interaction is generally uncomfortable. And even in known situations and with people I like it's exhausting after a while.
- score around 135 on a classic IQ test and I love research, facts and science
- horrible know-it-all, because if I learn an interesting fact I naturally need to share this fascinating insight with everyone around, and if someone makes a mistake I obviously have to step in and correct them (I can now mostly control it... unless I get nervous or excited)
- shopping is torture. Lots of colors and noise, too many people, and then they expect you to make decisions on the fly. This is only topped by the awkward horror of parties
- getting distracted and lost in my head. This makes me clumsy, I fail simple household tasks and my wife has difficulty to get my attention.

On the other hand, things that don't fit into the spectrum:
- good with languages
- lots of imagination and a love for fiction
- I work a full time job as a trainer/onboarding specialist in my company, and apparently I'm good at it.
- I'm good at teaching and speaking in front of a crowd of strangers
- I'm actually very messy, my house is never very neat or organized - I'm only a perfectionist in certain areas
- I don't mind travelling and having my routines disrupted, I like exploring new places

Anyways, of course I did some random reading on the internet, and I found out that there's a spectrum for autism with quite some variations and moderate forms. I also read that autism sometimes goes unnoticed in females.
However, I would be very grateful if someone could point out any good academic books or articles with reliable material.


all the best and greetings from my home in Germany!

 

[tree]

 

[Shamar]

Good evening,

I registered on this forum because I'm looking for some answers.
I'm almost 40 years old, I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety in my twenties, but the doctors never mentioned Autism or Aspergers.
And I'm not sure if I'm simply a neurotypical antisocial nerd, or someone who is successfully masking a moderate form of autism.
In the end, it probably does not matter either way, I'm just curious and I'd like to have the right label applied. And perhaps people in this forum share some of my weird traits and have some ideas on how to manage them better.

So, traits that I have that seem to fit into the autism spectrum:
- epic temper tantrums as a small kid, easily frustrated if things don't go my way
- never made friends easily, and have trouble keeping in touch with the few I have
- spent most of my teen years reading in my room or roaming the local forest on my own.
- difficulty understanding someone's mood and terrible at remembering faces
- social interaction is generally uncomfortable. And even in known situations and with people I like it's exhausting after a while.
- score around 135 on a classic IQ test and I love research, facts and science
- horrible know-it-all, because if I learn an interesting fact I naturally need to share this fascinating insight with everyone around, and if someone makes a mistake I obviously have to step in and correct them (I can now mostly control it... unless I get nervous or excited)
- shopping is torture. Lots of colors and noise, too many people, and then they expect you to make decisions on the fly. This is only topped by the awkward horror of parties
- getting distracted and lost in my head. This makes me clumsy, I fail simple household tasks and my wife has difficulty to get my attention.

On the other hand, things that don't fit into the spectrum:
- good with languages
- lots of imagination and a love for fiction
- I work a full time job as a trainer/onboarding specialist in my company, and apparently I'm good at it.
- I'm good at teaching and speaking in front of a crowd of strangers
- I'm actually very messy, my house is never very neat or organized - I'm only a perfectionist in certain areas
- I don't mind travelling and having my routines disrupted, I like exploring new places

Anyways, of course I did some random reading on the internet, and I found out that there's a spectrum for autism with quite some variations and moderate forms. I also read that autism sometimes goes unnoticed in females.
However, I would be very grateful if someone could point out any good academic books or articles with reliable material.


all the best and greetings from my home in Germany!

I don't want to repeat, so see my post to @Duncan74 a few minutes ago.
It's in this thread>>> It's a bit of a rollercoaster - who am I?

Your traits look pretty much like the list of autism diagnostic criteria.

Welcome and good luck.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Welcome/Wilkommen. Autism is called a spectrum because it is expressed uniquely in each individual. While I expressed a lot of the traits you mention when younger, After 25, and not knowing I was autistic, I was ably to enter into relationships and my spouse and I have been together for decades, and the same for good friends. Prior to that I felt socially and sexually isolated. That isolation led to PTSD that I am getting help for.

 

[Tom]

- shopping is torture. Lots of colors and noise, too many people, and then they expect you to make decisions on the fly. This is only topped by the awkward horror of parties

Yep. ;D

 

[Aneka]

Good evening,

I registered on this forum because I'm looking for some answers.
I'm almost 40 years old, I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety in my twenties, but the doctors never mentioned Autism or Aspergers.
And I'm not sure if I'm simply a neurotypical antisocial nerd, or someone who is successfully masking a moderate form of autism.
In the end, it probably does not matter either way, I'm just curious and I'd like to have the right label applied. And perhaps people in this forum share some of my weird traits and have some ideas on how to manage them better.

So, traits that I have that seem to fit into the autism spectrum:
- epic temper tantrums as a small kid, easily frustrated if things don't go my way
- never made friends easily, and have trouble keeping in touch with the few I have
- spent most of my teen years reading in my room or roaming the local forest on my own.
- difficulty understanding someone's mood and terrible at remembering faces
- social interaction is generally uncomfortable. And even in known situations and with people I like it's exhausting after a while.
- score around 135 on a classic IQ test and I love research, facts and science
- horrible know-it-all, because if I learn an interesting fact I naturally need to share this fascinating insight with everyone around, and if someone makes a mistake I obviously have to step in and correct them (I can now mostly control it... unless I get nervous or excited)
- shopping is torture. Lots of colors and noise, too many people, and then they expect you to make decisions on the fly. This is only topped by the awkward horror of parties
- getting distracted and lost in my head. This makes me clumsy, I fail simple household tasks and my wife has difficulty to get my attention.

On the other hand, things that don't fit into the spectrum:
- good with languages
- lots of imagination and a love for fiction
- I work a full time job as a trainer/onboarding specialist in my company, and apparently I'm good at it.
- I'm good at teaching and speaking in front of a crowd of strangers
- I'm actually very messy, my house is never very neat or organized - I'm only a perfectionist in certain areas
- I don't mind travelling and having my routines disrupted, I like exploring new places

Anyways, of course I did some random reading on the internet, and I found out that there's a spectrum for autism with quite some variations and moderate forms. I also read that autism sometimes goes unnoticed in females.
However, I would be very grateful if someone could point out any good academic books or articles with reliable material.


all the best and greetings from my home in Germany!

Hi and welcome

Greetings from Germany to Germany

 

[Billthecat]

Wilkommen

 

[Outdated]

- shopping is torture. Lots of colors and noise, too many people, and then they expect you to make decisions on the fly. This is only topped by the awkward horror of parties

I miss covid, I loved the lockdowns. Welcome to the forums.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

One of the my favourite memoirs from a woman on the spectrum is Dr. Liane Holliday Wiley's
Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome, for which there is a German translation available titled
Ich bin Autistin - aber ich zeige es nicht. Leben mit dem Asperger-Syndrom

 

[Kemetic]

Welcome/Wilkommen. Autism is called a spectrum because it is expressed uniquely in each individual. While I expressed a lot of the traits you mention when younger, After 25, and not knowing I was autistic, I was ably to enter into relationships and my spouse and I have been together for decades, and the same for good friends.

Thank you for the welcome!
You say that autism is expressed uniquely - doesn't that make a clear definition impossible?
What I mean is: is it ok for me to just self-diagnose and define as "on the spectrum", or would that be disrespectful for others who have a much more extreme form of those traits and struggle more to get along in society?
But I find myself in what you describe - I struggled much more as a teen and young adult. At some point I learned effective strategies to adapt and get along, and I was also fortunate enough to find a spouse who is willing to give me all the room I need and all the closeness I desire. (on the other hand, I learned how much humans keep reflecting and narrating their own biography, so I actually don't trust my own memories of my childhood to be fact... perhaps I'm just pulling bits and pieces that fit according to confirmation bias and interpreting them in the context of autism)

 

[Outdated]

You say that autism is expressed uniquely - doesn't that make a clear definition impossible?

This is correct.

What I mean is: is it ok for me to just self-diagnose and define as "on the spectrum"

Yes, it is fine. Many people on these forums don't have an official diagnosis yet there is no doubt from us that they are as they say they are. If you can relate to different stories in these forums then you are very likely to be on the spectrum. Most neurotypical people think we're just weird.

A diagnosis itself isn't any where near as important as being able to understand yourself, and a little more information would probably ease your husband's mind as well. I figured out that I was probably autistic 30 years ago, but I didn't get a diagnosis until 2020. The only reason I wanted a diagnosis was so that I could get a disability pension, but it also gave me a sense of validation and vindication.

Feel free to join in any of the topics here and don't be afraid to ask people questions. We all try to help each other here.

 

[Storm Hess]

Hallo.

 

[Progster]

You sound remarkably like me! I was also diagnosed with social anxiety in my 20s, depression, epic meltdowns, difficulty making and keeping friends, not recognising faces, difficulties gaging mood, good at languages (they were special interests), and I loved reading as a child, favourite genre science fiction. I also lived in the country and spend a lot of time roaming, don't like parties, though I don't cope well with sudden changes in routine. I'm also a teacher.

On the other hand, things that don't fit into the spectrum:
- good with languages
- lots of imagination and a love for fiction

It's not true that people on the spectrum can't be good at languages. There are many members of this forum who are proficient in one or more foreign languages. Also, there are some keen writers and avid readers here. There are also some who like travelling. It's a spectrum - everyone is different.