Hello and...guidance for self-diagnosis?

[CynthiaC]

Hello community! I am a 46 year old female who has a daughter newly diagnosed with autism and ADHD (she is almost 11). I'm also a Speech-Language Pathologist, and I'm feeling more and more like I could self-diagnose for autism, maybe even ADHD.

But I feel like such an imposter! Or maybe I'm just barely on the side of neurotypical, yet so much adds up to the side of neurodiverse.

I've taken the Autism Quotient test and gotten scores that are in a mid-range (28-32). I tend to get fixated on topics of interest, I have always felt like I didn't fit in, had a hard time making friends, I am sensitive to crowds, noise, textures. Eye contact is difficult, but not impossible. I hate making small talk. I'm deeply introverted, I secretly count to 12 by 2's for almost anything while also tightening the muscles behind my knees as I do this, I used to have an eating disorder, I see things others don't when it comes to problem solving. I read very early on and wanted a typewriter for Christmas when I was 4. I get anxiety and self-care is extremely important to me. I have a learning disability (I can't remember what, which is ironic because I think it has something to do with recall of information). I prefer 1:1 with people rather than groups.

But I'm also totally "normal." I made it through grad school, got married, had a kid, got divorced, and remarried. I have a circle of friends, and I don't think they feel I am "different." Then again, in my circle of friends we're all a little different...at least total introverts if not also on the (self-diagnosed) spectrum.

I don't know of any self-stimming that I do...my RRB's would be very low (in fact my daughter almost didn't qualify for ASD because the MD couldn't find "enough" RRB's initially, until I described more at length).

How does one feel confident self-diagnosing if it seems so borderline? I don't want to be an imposter, and yet...this is a world I feel entirely comfortable in and always have. Can anyone please advise? Thank you.

 

[tree]

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. Have a look at the Jessica Kingsley publishers catalogue for texts by women with Autism and clinicians about this. Women often do present somewhat differently and because the criteria have been developed as if autism was predominantly a male issue, have often not been recognised or diagnosed.

Women tend to be socialised to fit in more, plus also get more input on social skills, aswell as being expected to listen more than act out. This all tends to mask them. You have plenty of relevant issues, and about the eye contact, I don't think many autistic people find it impossible. They just don't do it much.

I expect you know that autism seems strongly hereditary, although can also be out of the blue. Just with you having a child with autism, it makes it potentially more likely that you may have it.

I hope that you enjoy it here and find it useful and supportive.

 

[Finder]

Welcome.

Why not simply have a diagnostic evaluation? That would clear up the ambiguity. However, make sure you find someone that can diagnose a) adults and b) women. I was diagnosed at the age of 56 and I found a huge difference between me saying I was autistic and a professional saying that. The relief I found from that can't be underestimated.

BTW, as far as stimming, I did not think I did that, but on closer examination, I found I did--I pace. I have also found other behaviors, which are not evident from the outside. As far as repetitive behavior, some of that is subtle, like how I learn about my environment by retracing routes and slowly building a familiarity of neighborhoods--I have to consciously break route patterns or I can get in a literal rut (and these routes can be very complex and long). I am very particular with food, especially breakfast. But none of that is obvious "autistic." And if I get interested in something, then the term "obsession" catches the spirit of the thing: since my diagnosis last year I have read 8 books and over 270 academic articles (but that is certainly not the only thing I have been doing).

BTW, completing grad school could very well be easier for autistics: it is structured and repetitive (and I did not have a major that required any team or group work). I also completed grad school (and there is nothing normal about grad school).

I would also suggest this on self acceptance (and for a woman's perspective on autism and the autism diagnosis): Acceptance as a Well Being Practice

BTW, the DSM-5 ASD criteria does state that a diagnosis only applies if symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning. It is broad language, but important. However, if this is causing anxiety in your life, that might qualify.

Wherever your journey takes you, it is an important journey.

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process

 

[CynthiaC]

Yes, thank you. I will look for more books by women with autism. I am certainly familiar in many ways with women with autism, as I work in that field. It feels strangely familiar yet different to be on this side. At any rate, I feel very fortunate to be here and to be uncovering this path. THank you.

 

[CynthiaC]

It is an important journey, yes.
Simply getting a diagnostic evaluation is no as simple as it should be. My insurance doesn't cover and I had to pay out of pocket for my daughter, nearly $5,000! But I will be asking more questions of her clinician, for certain.

I strongly suspect my mom also is on the spectrum, and yes...it is highly genetic.

Thank you for responding and for your information.

Welcome.

Why not simply have a diagnostic evaluation? That would clear up the ambiguity. However, make sure you find someone that can diagnose a) adults and b) women. I was diagnosed at the age of 56 and I found a huge difference between me saying I was autistic and a professional saying that. The relief I found from that can't be underestimated.

BTW, as far as stimming, I did not think I did that, but on closer examination, I found I did--I pace. I have also found other behaviors, which are not evident from the outside. As far as repetitive behavior, some of that is subtle, like how I learn about my environment by retracing routes and slowly building a familiarity of neighborhoods--I have to consciously break route patterns or I can get in a literal rut (and these routes can be very complex and long). I am very particular with food, especially breakfast. But none of that is obvious "autistic." And if I get interested in something, then the term "obsession" catches the spirit of the thing: since my diagnosis last year I have read 8 books and over 270 academic articles (but that is certainly not the only thing I have been doing).

BTW, completing grad school could very well be easier for autistics: it is structured and repetitive (and I did not have a major that required any team or group work). I also completed grad school (and there is nothing normal about grad school).

I would also suggest this on self acceptance (and for a woman's perspective on autism and the autism diagnosis): Acceptance as a Well Being Practice

BTW, the DSM-5 ASD criteria does state that a diagnosis only applies if symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning. It is broad language, but important. However, if this is causing anxiety in your life, that might qualify.

Wherever your journey takes you, it is an important journey.

 

[OkRad]

Did you have early indicators? That is a clue, too. I know it may be hard to get a dx officially since you work int he field. I bet that would be a bit tricky, but as @Finder said, it might really help. Being odd or not is not always the best indicator, as you know. Either way, we welcome you and hope you find a lot of support here. It is a very nice and supportive place!

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

Welcome to the forums . Asking for a typewriter for Christmas, at 4 yo . Yup, sounds like something I would have done. Well I guess you have something to show for early symptoms. I am self diagnosed with an AQ of 34. The RRB's are usually much more subtle in women, I noticed. Eye-contact problems are the most concrete trait there is, so I would guess you could get a diagnosis.

 

[Finder]

My insurance doesn't cover and I had to pay out of pocket for my daughter, nearly $5,000! But I will be asking more questions of her clinician, for certain.

Ouch!

My evaluation cost me $200 and the insurance paid $260. I might look around. I was also evaluated virtually because of the pandemic.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

I'm wondering, if you choose to pursue the formal diagnostic route yourself, and you were to go to a psychologist who is familiar with adult female diagnosis if it may be faster and/or less expensive than to go via a MD, which is a route less traveled - I am also surprised by the costs for your daughter's diagnosis, since usually the most expensive out of pocket is usually around $2000-$2500.

Another possibility is whether there may be a university doing research in your general area though which you may be able to get an informal opinion on yourself while partaking in a study as a parent.

 

[CynthiaC]

I think I had some early indicators...but I'm also unclear on that...my mom did say I used to like to line toys up in mirrors of themselves, but that's really all I know. I'll have to delve deeper.
And yes, being odd is not the best indicator, for sure!
So far so good with this forum. Thank you!

Did you have early indicators? That is a clue, too. I know it may be hard to get a dx officially since you work int he field. I bet that would be a bit tricky, but as @Finder said, it might really help. Being odd or not is not always the best indicator, as you know. Either way, we welcome you and hope you find a lot of support here. It is a very nice and supportive place!

 

[CynthiaC]

Welcome!

I'm wondering, if you choose to pursue the formal diagnostic route yourself, and you were to go to a psychologist who is familiar with adult female diagnosis if it may be faster and/or less expensive than to go via a MD, which is a route less traveled - I am also surprised by the costs for your daughter's diagnosis, since usually the most expensive out of pocket is usually around $2000-$2500.

Another possibility is whether there may be a university doing research in your general area though which you may be able to get an informal opinion on yourself while partaking in a study as a parent.

The cost for my daughter's diagnosis is par for the course here in Northern California (near San Francisco). Even a little cheaper than what the 'city' costs. Totally nuts. I did shop around to 3 different clinicians and they were all the same. Because of her age, it was important some of the testing was done in person (or that is what I was told)...and I was anxious to get it done before the end of the school year. Her clinician was also evaluating for learning disabilities, ADHD, tic disorder and more...so it was very comprehensive and involved interviewing previous teachers, therapists and such. But yes, nuts on the cost.

If I do pursue it myself I would totally go with a psychologist familiar with an adult female diagnosis. I also imagine it could be less complex than a child diagnosis...

Thank you so much

 

[Finder]

If I do pursue it myself I would totally go with a psychologist familiar with an adult female diagnosis. I also imagine it could be less complex than a child diagnosis...

In my case, I found a psychiatrist that specialized in adult diagnosis and I specifically asked to be assessed for ASD. I probably have some comorbidities (ADHD and lysdexia), but those are not as disruptive to my life as ASD. I simply had a one hour session with my wife and I had dug up as much background as I could--I interviewed my mom and had my school reports.

 

[Streetwise]

Hello community! I am a 46 year old female who has a daughter newly diagnosed with autism and ADHD (she is almost 11). I'm also a Speech-Language Pathologist, and I'm feeling more and more like I could self-diagnose for autism, maybe even ADHD.

But I feel like such an imposter! Or maybe I'm just barely on the side of neurotypical, yet so much adds up to the side of neurodiverse.

I've taken the Autism Quotient test and gotten scores that are in a mid-range (28-32). I tend to get fixated on topics of interest, I have always felt like I didn't fit in, had a hard time making friends, I am sensitive to crowds, noise, textures. Eye contact is difficult, but not impossible. I hate making small talk. I'm deeply introverted, I secretly count to 12 by 2's for almost anything while also tightening the muscles behind my knees as I do this, I used to have an eating disorder, I see things others don't when it comes to problem solving. I read very early on and wanted a typewriter for Christmas when I was 4. I get anxiety and self-care is extremely important to me. I have a learning disability (I can't remember what, which is ironic because I think it has something to do with recall of information). I prefer 1:1 with people rather than groups.

But I'm also totally "normal." I made it through grad school, got married, had a kid, got divorced, and remarried. I have a circle of friends, and I don't think they feel I am "different." Then again, in my circle of friends we're all a little different...at least total introverts if not also on the (self-diagnosed) spectrum.

I don't know of any self-stimming that I do...my RRB's would be very low (in fact my daughter almost didn't qualify for ASD because the MD couldn't find "enough" RRB's initially, until I described more at length).

How does one feel confident self-diagnosing if it seems so borderline? I don't want to be an imposter, and yet...this is a world I feel entirely comfortable in and always have. Can anyone please advise? Thank you.

Many people don't know what autism is! they think maybe paralysis is part of autism or deafness is part of it ,it's not either of those

But it's better if you do it to yourself almost !!!,we can't see inside your head,
I for instance have Ehlers Danhlos syndrome( very stretchy ligaments which effect all parts of the body )but that's not autism, but a percentage of people with autistic neurology have it

You could be PDD-NOS it's slightly less in some ways than classic autism

I'm not a neurologist \neuropsychiatrist or doctor or psychologist or psychiatrist it's good in a way to know from one of those therapists as bureaucrats love a sheet of paper with a label ,it also helps if you are prescribed medicines !as people with autistic neurology are very sensitive to drugs!

 

[Gift2humanity]

Welcome aboard.
Don't feel an imposter.
You are who you are and while I am no professional, a lot of what you say sounds like you could be on the spectrum.

 

[SimonSays]

I don't want to be an imposter, and yet...this is a world I feel entirely comfortable in and always have.

Nobody really needs someone else giving them permission to be who they are.
You don't have to have a label to be you, or to be here. So whoever you are, whatever your label might be, you are a part of this community now. Good to have you.

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome. I remember my daughter always lining up her toys, she even poured out her huge bag of Halloween candy and methodically sorted every piece of it then l took a picture of her huge smile as she was quite pleased with herself afterwards.