Hello all

[jayster]

I'm a 48 year old woman who has just realised that I have Aspergers (in the last 10 days).
I have a referral for diagnosis.
After a lifetime of wondering what's wrong with me, I'm starting to get some understanding and peace of mind.
On aspie forums and blogs over the past couple of days, I have read things that I thought only I could have written.
I've got very vivid memories of my early childhood, or at least, I think I have. Anyone else?

 

[Tom]

Hi & welcome to AC.

 

[jayster]

Hi Tom and thank you

 

[SignOfLazarus]

Hi Jayster.
When it was first suggested to me I might be on the spectrum and then I was diagnosed, things started to fall into place for me. I see more how I fit too and what is pretty great about myself.

Pretty neat finding more about yourself and finding other people like you right?

Welcome.

 

[StephF]

Hi Jayster.

 

[jayster]

Pretty neat finding more about yourself and finding other people like you right?

Welcome.

Yes. I'm relieved - I can finally stop feeling guilty that I have wilfully ruined my life.
Thanks for the welcome, and StephF

 

[Shalott]

Welcome Jayster!

So happy to hear that you find some peace of mind when finally finding a diagnose.
Hope you have a nice stay!

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard!

 

[jayster]

Thank you, Shalott & Rocco

 

[jayster]

I'm reintroducing myself; I'm sure you all get the withdrawal thing anyway

 

[Datura]

I've got very vivid memories of my early childhood, or at least, I think I have. Anyone else?

I can remember having my picture taken at a point before I could sit up on my own. I recall being positioned sitting up and having these giant hands catch me as I lost my balance. I can see the blurred figure of the photographer and the surprising flash that emanated from a point near his head.

 

[jayster]

I'm reassured by accounts of this type by others, so thank you Datura

 

[EdR]

Hello jayster, welcome to the forum.

I recieved a sense of serenity since my diagnosis and the subsequent researches because so much of my life was explained. Subsequently I started efforts to ameliorate some of the least acceptable behaviors that I exhibit and have achieved some small successes.

What you describe seems to be an eidetic memories. My memories of the past are not vivid at all; when my wife or therapist have asked me to recall my youth I draw a blank. My memories are associative and require some sort of trigger to initiate recall, a vague question such as "what happened when you were 12?" is not such a trigger for me.

Of course there are other possibilities, I could just be suppressing an unhappy childhood. Or I could have just forgotten?

 

[Datura]

I'm reassured by accounts of this type by others, so thank you Datura

Yes, and that isn't my only memory from infancy and toddlerhood. I can recall early escape attempt from my crib, having my diaper changed, and how the music box in my bedroom always mad me feel melancholy as it wound down and the music grew slower and slower. What is most interesting is coming back to these memories and realizing how differently I perceived events back then. For example: I can remember one of my early birthdays where I was given a red wagon full of balloons. At the time it was exciting, but I was also very confused as I really didn't have a concept of "birthday" at that point.

Despite my ability to recall such distant memories with clarity, I still have difficulty recalling people's names and faces, and frequently need to make notes for myself to keep on track. Memory is a strange thing.

 

[jayster]

Memory is a very strange thing, to be sure. I can't really explain it all here, but some of my vivid memories as a tiny child (ie. bad ones) sort of blinded me to my ASD. Since I have understood that I have it, I'm finding myself able to unlock happier recollections. I don't feel too "bothered" by my past, now. It just leaves the present and future to deal with.

 

[Progster]

Hi, and welcome I have some vivid childhood memories, too.