Hello all! I come in a state of distress

[Icylotusblossom]

Hello,

As you can see, I am new to the forum and will be glad to get to know some of you. I do have an issue that I would like feedback/input on as I am really worried about my 7 year old boy. My ex husband has been taking my son to an NP and first she said he had ADD, now she is saying he has Asperger Syndrome. Due to rather odd situations (joint custody rules that have not really been followed by the father, and that I have been far too lenient with ) - I have pretty much been left out of the loop and only find out about my son's appointments and such AFTER the fact. My concern is, that this NP (not a licensed psychologist) is diagnosing my son with something that not only is she not really qualified for, but does not have the the 'other side of the coin" so to speak. I did manage to find out that NP has my phone number, and up until I contacted her office requesting records for the purpose of getting my son to a qualified professional...not one phone call was received to discuss the behavioral patterns of my son during the 3.5 days a week he is under my care/supervision. I am just worried that this may be more of my son acting out, as he does not display the issues the father states are going on when he is with me, nor does he display the "common symptoms" of Aspergers (he communicates fine with others, has an active imagination, can maintain eye contact, etc). Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated...Aspergers or could it be something else???

 

[Harrison]

Hi, welcome to AC.

I appreciate your distress and your concern for your boy. I should point out that ASD is a spectrum so whether he has certain indicators or not may mean little, and no-one here would be qualified to give a diagnosis as to whether your son in on the spectrum or not.

Personally I would suggest opening up a stronger dialogue and ensuring that your child is seen by a competent professional.

If you'd like more information on Aspergers we have an excellent resource section.

 

[Warmheart]

Welcome! My compassion for your struggles. I'll agree with Harrison, and gently suggest getting an eval done by a good neuropsychologist or someone qualified.

ASD is indeed a spectrum, and one beautiful feature is a fantastic imagination! Our communication difficulties are often very much hidden. Some of us, for example, can speak-- but what we feel/think isn't quite what is said. Eye contact varies among us, with some able to maintain good, strong eye contact.

Without a diagnosis, we get judged. With a diagnosis, we can be supported to reach our fullest potential.
May you and your son find the answers and support you seek.

 

[qwerty]

Hello and welcome aboard.

It sounds like a very frustrating situation, I agree with the other posters and I think you are doing the right thing in getting your child seen by a qualified professional.
It really concerns me how flippantly some people come to be diagnosed with reasonably complicated syndromes and disorders often after a first meeting of maybe an hour.
Good luck

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Hello,

As you can see, I am new to the forum and will be glad to get to know some of you. I do have an issue that I would like feedback/input on as I am really worried about my 7 year old boy. My ex husband has been taking my son to an NP and first she said he had ADD, now she is saying he has Asperger Syndrome. Due to rather odd situations (joint custody rules that have not really been followed by the father, and that I have been far too lenient with ) - I have pretty much been left out of the loop and only find out about my son's appointments and such AFTER the fact. My concern is, that this NP (not a licensed psychologist) is diagnosing my son with something that not only is she not really qualified for, but does not have the the 'other side of the coin" so to speak. I did manage to find out that NP has my phone number, and up until I contacted her office requesting records for the purpose of getting my son to a qualified professional...not one phone call was received to discuss the behavioral patterns of my son during the 3.5 days a week he is under my care/supervision. I am just worried that this may be more of my son acting out, as he does not display the issues the father states are going on when he is with me, nor does he display the "common symptoms" of Aspergers (he communicates fine with others, has an active imagination, can maintain eye contact, etc). Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated...Aspergers or could it be something else???

You have a more basic problem than a suspected Asperger's case. I'd get your lawyer to discuss enforcing your custodial rights first, then file a complaint against the NP (what's an NP, anyway?) with whatever medical board licenses that person if they don't return your calls. Make a table: date, person you called, phone number you called, result, reason the result concerns you. And maintain it. And do this on all of them: the ex, the NP, your own legal contacts.

This alone is a formidable weapon and you only have it if you write it down. Don't share it with anyone but your lawyer or the court until you have to.

And then get some qualified professional--a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist, ideally--to help with your son, if indeed he isn't just exhibiting trauma from the divorce.

In my opinion, and I'm just a stranger on the Internet. Good luck.

EDIT:
PS. By the way, aspies do have imaginations, can sometimes look you in the eye (at a very high energy cost), etc. I'd gently suggest that perhaps you should look at some of these popular assumptions about what AS really is, because we're definitely not all symptomatic in the same way, and there are potential co-conditions and lookalikes.

 

[SignOfLazarus]

You have a more basic problem than a suspected Asperger's case. I'd get your lawyer to discuss enforcing your custodial rights first,

This.
Also agree with documenting the crap out of everything you do.

In terms of your priorities here I would say that straightening out your general custody issues would be way at the top. Asperger's is not generally a very "sticky" diagnosis. That is to say: he is seven, and if this provider is making a wrong diagnosis, he can be reevaluated and it won't really cling to him like some diagnoses do.

You don't mention this, but I assume the NP is a nurse practitioner- I'm hoping, given the context, it is actually a psychiatric nurse practitioner. This would mean this individual has supervision and all that, so they have to run all DX's and such by a supervising psychiatrist.

To be clear- this may be a case of R/O- rule out, and you don't seem to be able to determine that given what you have said, so none of use can really give good solid advise on your son's situation. They may be entertaining the idea of asperger's, which would make sense if you have not been explicitly contacted regarding possibly asperger diagnosis at this point.

Considering all of the communication issues you are having regarding your son's healthcare and his father, etc I really do believe you need to address custody, health care right and responsibility as split between you and his father and do it quick.

Right now, it probably won't have lasting effects.
The problem is that as he gets older, your son may [or may not] come across more and more specialists, and if things remain as they are you may not know which ones he is seeing, why, or what parts of the picture they are getting.

TL; DR
Priority: deal with custody issues that are not being held to the letter; write everything down.

In my opinion, and I'm just a stranger on the Internet. Good luck.

...in the same boat myself really but I agree with what she wrote.

 

[Tom]

Hi & welcome,
It sounds like a difficult situation. Because of the possible communication problems with ex, I think it best to go at this fresh and have your son evaluated independantly and by a competent professional who is trained and authorized to make such a diagnosis. Getting the right diagnosis is often not a one time deal, as many conditions overlap and it can be very hard, even for a trained professional to sort out what is really going on. Emotional issues, the stress of separations can also cloud the picture. So getting second opinions, reevaluations, etc, is standard procedure. And having the correct diagnosis is critical for determining the right treatments.

 

[Sully]

I thought NP meant neuropsychologist. But, since she's not qualified maybe it means nurse practitioner? Or, someone with a BS in psychology. Whichever it is you should take him to someone who is qualified. Nothing you mentioned rules out Asperger's.