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Hello all ASD’ers?

@Stuttermabolur : Yes! That is the one thing I do know, I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder at the age of 5/6, dismissed and refuted by my mother at the time. I recall a lot of what the teachers, counsellors and psychologist picked upon at her time and do believe their diagnosis to be true as a lot of it still affects me to this day, though I have ignored or avoided it for years because I was constantly told it was all in my head.. well they weren’t wrong really, but I’m fairly certain it is actual and not just a manifestation of anxiety like proclaimed.
When my daughter was diagnosed several months ago and I started making the connections, I actually took to obsessing over tests because it didn’t seem to matter what I took, it all pointed to Aspergers. I fought for a while, believing the tests were geared somehow or that they wouldn’t necessarily be accurate and just entertainment. Well it turns out that those tests are not a actual diagnostic, but they are still quite accurate across the board. It may not mean you have an actual condition or even the condition testing for but it usually gives a decent amount of premise to what -is- going on and allows better testing from there. The reason I am here now is because my therapist conveyed with a pchiatric co-worker, one who had previously glanced at my chart pushed on the diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder which did not fully fit with how I presented. After reviewing some of the tests and my daughters diagnosis, I’ve now been requisitioned a full psychological assessment in the near future. So.. they can certainly help but still need professional interpretation.

My tests were as follows:
Autism short: 9
Autism quotient: 46, normal 17
Empathy Quotient: 25, normal 42
SQ-R: 104. Normal 61.2, Autism 77.8
RaaDs-R. 148. (130> mean Autism)
Social relatedness: 60
Language: 12
Sensory/Motor: 44
Circum interests: 32

RBQ-2A: 44
Aspie: nd 155/200 (20>diff=likely)
Nt 40/100

Cat-q: 129. Avg: 96.8. Aut: 109.6
Compensation: 48. 30. 36.8
Masking: 47. 36.3. 32.9
Assimilation: 34. 30.4. 39.9

ESQ: 194

Response Inhibition: 19
Working Memory: 18
Emotional Control: 18
Task Initiation: 18
Sustained Attention: 17
Planning/Prioritization: 18
Organization: 13
Time Management: 17
Flexibility: 11
Metacognition: 15
Goal-Directed Persistence: 15
Stress Tolerance: 15
CRT: 3. 2> Aut

Two-Factor Imagination Scale: 34/ low spontaneity

Dunno if it shows all that much but it’s enough to warrant confirming what’s actually going on.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Wood working sort of runs in my family, My cousin George won a world championship years ago. Other then my sons interest, and my brother who also dabbled a bit. As a family we like to work with our hands. My dad liked to build houses, never used contractor's.
 
@Gerald Wilgus : Omg Gerald, thank you so much, I guess i’m glad that it’s interpreted that way, I assume as being strong-willed and inspiring.. sadly I don’t see it the same way. I am still proud of it no less but that comes from actual suffering and pain.. not my own but experiencing it through others and then experiencing a lot of like losses myself.. my own experiences don’t affect me much but I experience something called mirror-pain synethesia.. it’s rather frustrating at times, especially tethered with intrusive thoughts or trying to relax and watch a movie or good show. I don’t watch much TV because of but if I am witness to a significantly emotionally expressive scene, any form of injury appearing at least vaguely realistic or even the mental image of some form of pain; my brain tries to re-enact it in my body. When people near me are sick, I suffer with them. When someone is on the brink of madness or near the brink of tears, I somehow experience their emotion without it even being audibly or visibly conveyed, though maybe somehow subconciously. If I see a significant injury someone has, even if already on the mend, I still experience it as if it had happened to me. The weird aspects of it is that in an emergency, I actually function far better than I ever do even on a good day, usually better than those around me as well. I can think clearly, remember all techniques and applications even long outside of actual usage, until the point that I have done all that I can do…. And then I crash for a few days, probably from the adrenaline. I as well am diagnosed with vasa vagal syncope which states that I -should- be squeamish and faint at the sight of blood.. I fainted getting blood taken -once- and grew up with so many nose bleeds that I had to get my nose chemically cauterized 8 times but never an issue really fainting from blood but lifelong epidemic of fainting, usually after stomache discomfort and the need of a bowel movement. But yeah.. the other oddity is that if my brain can’t process how it would affect me it gets all weird about it. I can’t even think of a time to explain even in the slightest but it is funny sometimes if confusing. So yeah.. I think or see pain and I feel it, like it was occurring to my own body. Doesn’t help when there are a lot of stupid, outlandish and improbable thoughts that run from every other thought or idea that comes to mind.. I literally have to stop people from explaining workplace accidents or other physical trauma that may somehow be hilarious; and feel rather sheepish if needing to explain why because it may be hard to deal with when I’m not prepared to but at times I still can’t pull myself away from watching horror movies..

And well.. body image is another lengthy story, let’s just leave it at I have never felt like this was my body.. the image I never had that much issue with except after being forced to eat and growing to 180lbs.. wasn’t hard to go back. I was a twig growing up, not hypotonic just scrawny.. and well, I didn’t care to eat. I did not body shame myself or suffer from anorexia and the like, though because of lacking the sense I still essentially did and still do. I did however develop gender dysphoria about the age of 9/10 and though it never went away, logic resolved it for me after many years debate and a kind of isolation because of. It didn’t stop me from supporting gay or unsure friends, it didn’t really hinder any relationships, I wasn’t necessarily asexual but I wasn’t really bisexual or gay either.. I knew I liked women but I imagine I could still find a man attractive given the right emotional connection.. what I knew is I didn’t understand anything changing if my idea of sex didn’t change. I associated more to women and girls of my age, related with them better, even usually had better social interactions and conversations with instead of likewise of my gender. Toe-walking was actually what introduced the idea as it already was pointed out on many occasion that all I needed was a set of heels. . I did like the structure of them but they were still hard on impact like most shoes and more difficult that toes alone.
As well through having to play Barbie with my sister, I learned that I adored certain textures and textiles.. also got me into a bit of trouble when I started drawing and visualizing fashion, i dealing outfits that were both appealing to your skin as well as to the eye.. yeah just another reason to want to be a woman, as I saw not near as many acceptable options in men’s clothing styles and women’s figures were absolute sculptures compared to men’s stalky and blocky builds (no offence meant, I’m one of these guys.).. my adoration of women is not a sexual one but to me one of the divinities of beauty in this world, something I in this body could never aspire to be. I as well couldn’t see changing sex and still pursuing women.. seems like a wasted effort, could see pursuing a man but then I didn’t think there was chance of family that route.. and my body was the issue, not my partners gender so I knew I wasn’t specifically gay.. I thought I was asexual for a while, but mainly just felt out of place in my own skin.. that can also be due to the sensory processing disorder as well.. half the time I feel like my nerves are charged with fluctuating or static amounts of energy, misfiring or shorting out, or just that, static; constantly on the line.. sometimes hyper sensitive, sometimes hypo sensitive.. but never feeling the same at any given time.
As well I’ve had several near or expected death experiences. So I feel the way I do because I don’t want anyone else to feel that way alone, I try to make sure I recognize every good moment, every good gesture. I try to make people aware of the good things, like telling one of my daughters assistants at camp how she has helped her so much, or even someone just making good food. I try to appreciate every aspect of beauty in this world because there already more than enough pain already to go around.. I’m quoted as having toxic positivity at times, I can be insensitive, even some of the things I’ve used to keep myself going have been able-ism.. I can’t control how people interpret, I can’t even always do the best job communicated what I mean without the ability to misinterpret or intend my actual meaning.. but I myself always have to try to, I’ve seen too many lose or disappear without even anything said at all, some because they thought my life was perfect.. I talk so much because I care about everyone and everything, not really because I want to.
 
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@Everone : sorry, having a lot of difficulty having to reload the site repeatedly, browse the forums and brush up on topics conversed -and- make sure to reply to everyone.. bare with me.

@Ronald Zeeman : That is awesome, the award, having things like that run in the family and building houses; all exceptional. Excited to learn more of your family carpentry as well as your sons robotics. Can’t guarantee I’m always socially available but am always willing to learn things and/or help out. Weekends as always easier for me but I’m also a night owl if that holds any precedence, and a lover of timmies. Besides I could go for a walk down memory lane over there at anytime convenient for you, could probably occupy myself for hours reconvening the past before ever showing up for that coffee, lol.
 

Stuttermabolur

A psychologist said so
V.I.P Member
@Gerald Wilgus : As well I’ve had several near or expected death experiences. So I feel the way I do because I don’t want anyone else to feel that way alone, I try to make sure I recognize every good moment, every good gesture. I try to make people aware of the good things, like telling one of my daughters assistants at camp how she has helped her so much, or even someone just making good food. I try to appreciate every aspect of beauty in this world because there already more than enough pain already to go around.. I’m quoted as having toxic positivity at times, I can be insensitive, even some of the things I’ve used to keep myself going have been able-ism.. I can’t control how people interpret, I can’t even always do the best job communicated what I mean without the ability to misinterpret or intend my actual meaning.. but I myself always have to try to, I’ve seen too many lose or disappear without even anything said at all, some because they thought my life was perfect.. I talk so much because I care about everyone and everything, not really because I want to.
This reply reminds me of another one of my threads (turns out I'm a shameless self-promoter): Excessively complimenting people
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I bought the lot in Ceasarea with intentions to build a house, now it just is an investment. I lived on the island when I was a teenager. you sound like a interesting person.

A large tree fell over the property a month ago. Causing a bit of an issue with cutting the grass. Ceasarea had an interesting history. Biker Gang had MarIna. lets just say very good investment.

MY wife' family comes from the general area. Markham where your shop is located was called German Mill's in the past Where the Berzy settlers lived before Toronto was built. You will see lots of references to them in town.
 
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