i know I've posted before about my boyfriend's tantrums and meltdowns. He is undiagnosed and won't go to seek help- we've been together just over 2 years and are both middle aged. We broke up after one a year ago, then got back together when things cooled off. He won't talk about the meltdowns to me. He says such mean and terrible things during one that they are shaking my belief in him and the relationship. He will say sorry a few days later, but not apologize specifically for the personal insults he threw my way. Because of this I feel like he must believe the mean things he says during a meltdown. He's only had 2 meltdowns with me this year, which is incredible and I realize he must be trying very hard. We are looking at houses and thinking about marriage and family. It's at his lead but I know it's stressful.
He blew up at me in public a couple days ago because I was late for an event due to heavy traffic and my phone ran out of juice. I called him right before it died and told him where I was and would meet him, but my phone was dying. The traffic was so heavy I actually stopped and borrowed a waitresses phone in a restraint to call him and tell him I was stuck in the traffic jam, currently in this area, and would keep trying to get there. I did get there eventually but couldn't found him in the crowd until after the concert. He was cold and furious with me. He ranted that I had done everything from stand him up, get kidnapped, lied to him about why I was late, to just avoiding him. It was all so untrue and I cried right then and there. He apologized the following night for "being so mentally ill the other night." But that's it. Now I'm left to wonder about all the awful things he said and I can't move past it, I feel stuck.
I would live any advice from NT dealing with this or Aspies who know what it feels like on the inside. He is usually very loving, demonstrative, and the relationship has been very strong. Thanks..
He blew up at me in public a couple days ago because I was late for an event due to heavy traffic and my phone ran out of juice. I called him right before it died and told him where I was and would meet him, but my phone was dying. The traffic was so heavy I actually stopped and borrowed a waitresses phone in a restraint to call him and tell him I was stuck in the traffic jam, currently in this area, and would keep trying to get there. I did get there eventually but couldn't found him in the crowd until after the concert. He was cold and furious with me. He ranted that I had done everything from stand him up, get kidnapped, lied to him about why I was late, to just avoiding him. It was all so untrue and I cried right then and there. He apologized the following night for "being so mentally ill the other night." But that's it. Now I'm left to wonder about all the awful things he said and I can't move past it, I feel stuck.
I would live any advice from NT dealing with this or Aspies who know what it feels like on the inside. He is usually very loving, demonstrative, and the relationship has been very strong. Thanks..