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Have You Ever Un-Learned Something that was True?

Discussion in 'Autism Science Discussions' started by MrSpock, Dec 9, 2017.

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  1. MrSpock

    MrSpock Live long and prosper

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    At the moment I am pretty sure that I have un-learned something that was true. I do hope that re-learning it will be easy, and the information will be fairly accurate.

    When I was younger I think I either made an error in reasoning (unaware that I was on the spectrum and attempting to apply reason to the behaviour of NTs) or had a series of unusual experiences, whatever the case I 'learned' from it. I went home with several women and things seemed as though I was about to get some each time. I assumed that things were going well because of things like my interpretation of her mood, little things that might be taken as subtle hints. For whatever reason, I did not. Several times.

    Perhaps most people would have persisted in what they naturally felt was the correct course rather than doubting it based on experimental evidence. Perhaps I came to a premature conclusion based on too few points of data. For whatever reason, I became much less confident that I could 'read' women at all. I changed my approach based on experimental evidence and in hindsight it's almost certainly been a very poor decision.

    Relatively recent events have provided me with many points of data, very importantly they are from a single source and therefore can much more easily be compared to each other than points gathered from different people (NTs). I have many times attempted to act on a percieved green light and been wrong every time. I have also failed to act on what apparently were 'real' green lights (although heavily surrounded by apparent red ones). Either of these mistakes has been enough to cause very negative reactions. I am starting to see that the 'real' green ones, surrounded by red, are things that I would have considered to be green lights many years ago, certainly if the red ones were removed I would even lately have interpreted them as green. The apparently green ones I have responded to have been not particularly sexy, however they have had a relative absence of apparent red lights in concert with them. I believe that I ought to have continued to have faith in the instinctual green lights while simply ignoring the red ones. That would perhaps not result in 100% accuracy, but I am fairly sure that I would have a much higher success rate (cannot be lower) than by paying attention to the red ones as I have.

    I will soonish attempt to put the 'new' knowledge into practice (on someone else). Blah, blah, another guy is trying to figure women out. It is an example of un-learning something that ought not to have been un-learned. I wonder if this is an aspie thing, if any of you have noticed yourselves depriving yourselves of 'good instinct' due to a series of events that teach you poorly. Do NTs do this? If you have done this I would appreciate the opportunity to read about your experience, whatever field of knowledge your learning/un-learning has taken place in.
     
  2. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Forcing myself to socialise when I just didn't want to do it to please somebody else it's not fun being alone but I just didn't like socialising
    I perceived that I didn't want to do it but thought I must please somebody it just didn't work.
     
  3. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    I used to have an imaginary censor in my head, that would reject every negative feeling that might have started to flourish.
    Example: a sudden noise made me angry, but the censor would say: ‘you should not be angry because of that, forget it”. I would force myself to “forget it”, only to explode angrily later on anything, like my kid innocently saying ‘mom, can you...’

    Now, if any negative feeling starts to show its face, I open the door and say ‘welcome!’ I’d recognize that the noise makes me angry, and I will either do something about it (like turning on music that would mask the noise) or, if I can’t do anything about it, I would start talking to myself in my mind: “yes, it’s making you angry, you are so brave that you’re enduring this torture” (as a result, people might think, correctly, that I’m not paying attention to what they’re saying, but that’s better than exploding in rage:)).

    In a nutshell: now I recognize my own feelings and emotions, I don’t “push them down”.
     
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  4. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Same as you, MrSpock. Well, similar. Turns out, when people exaggerate their enthusiasm, they are being fake.

    It was such a "duh" moment for me when I realized.