Have you ever desired someone and it is wrong?

[Harmonie]

I fell for a woman who is a recording artist who lives many states away. She is a friend of a friend of mine. So despite having met her online, she is connected to someone I'm close with IRL. I don't know how I fell for her, but I fell hard.

We finally met in person and although she was really how she was online, she was a lot colder to me than I expected and it hurt. She's also straight, which I didn't know beforehand.

I'm "over" her, I tell myself. But I had a dream with her in it a week ago or so and it reopened the wound.

It's easy to fall for people like this and not really be able to get over them because romance is so rare in my life, and falling for people is just as rare, as she is the only one I have fallen for aside from my ex from a long time ago.

So yeah, I fall for the wrong people and then can't get over them no matter what. Why can't I just be normal?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I don't question that a shy woman is a good catch. But I do question if there is, as you say "compatibility in other dimensions". I'm just so afraid that I'll make the first move and then I'll regret it. It will be one of those, it looks like a good idea, but only later do you realise that it wasn't.

I'm scared that a shy woman will think we are compatible due to our loneliness but once she knows more about me, she'll realize that we're not.

You have interests, don't you? And I suppose she would too, and if these are harmonious you are off to a good start. Enjoy who you are and I am sure a shy woman would see that in you.

When I was lonely I was looking for a woman who enjoyed outdoor recreation. I connected with a woman hoping to meet a man to do outdoor recreation with. The rest is history. It also helps that we enjoy intellectual pursuits. Our interests are wide ranging and we enjoy pursuing them. Last October we spent a few days in NYC where we saw two Sondheim musicals, Merrily We Roll Along with Daniel Radcliff, and Sondheim's last, Here We Are, a surreal production based on the works of Buñuel, and finally Hadestown, a delta blues version of Orpheus and Eurydice. In the meantime we spent time at the American Museum of Natural History and saw the retrospective of the Feminist artist, Judy Chicago at the New Museum in the Bowery. That is where approaching and connecting with a shy woman can take you. It was a great leap of faith to have a relationship with her but my shy spouse has made life rewarding for me. Have confidence in yourself and set your doubts aside.