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Have you come to terms with having your ASD?

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Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Have you come to terms with having your ASD?

I have, but it took me about a year to accept it. At first I told myself "It's a form of autism; I can't have it" while I subconsciously knew that I had lots of traits of it. It wasn't until about a year after hearing of the term "Asperger's" that I decided to sign out a bunch of PDD-related books through a books-by-mail library service. After reading through countless amounts of books dealing with the most common PDDs (Pervasive Developmental Disorders), I came to the conclusion that I was somewhere on the spectrum, but I wasn't sure where.

For a few days post-accepting what I had, I'd become depressed. But once the initial depression was over, the suicidal thoughts that used to go through my mind daily vanished. Coming to terms with what I have has helped.

Now I know some of you may be thinking "What - you were only self-diagnosed. Didn't you get a formal diagnosis?". No. I got a formal diagnosis about a year prior to comprehensively reading and studying PDDs. But to be honest, I don't even view the formal diagnosis as being a diagnosis. Why? Because the person who diagnosed me knew less about PDDs than I do and I was already 99% sure that I was on the spectrum as I have a very textbook case of AS. All I can really consider my diagnosis as being is a "confirmation" as he merely confirmed something which I'd long postulated to have.
 
Yes, I did a long time ago. When I was first diagnosed I had never heard of it before so I didn't know anything about it. I read about it and was like "That sounds just like me."
 
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Google said:
Yes, I did a long time ago. When I was first diagnosed I had never heard of it before so I didn't know anything about it. I read about it and was like "That sounds just like me."
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Same for me. At first I was in denial because I didn't know much about it but after some research I realised that it explained a lot.
 
I considered it good news when I finally managed to get a diagnosis (by that point, I felt like wasn't looking so much for a diagnosis but simply "permission" to identify myself as an aspie). It really bothered me that I didn't have a name for the way in which I was different from most people, and it was a relief when I was able to finally put a name to it (sometimes just being able to put a name to something that you didn't have a name for before is a big deal).

Even though there are a lot of things about my current situation I'd like to change, I like myself the way I am. I'm not waiting for any kind of cure for Asperger's, and even if there was one, I'd probably say "no" to it. Just as a little thought experiment, I tried to imagine what I would be like if I were an NT, and I found that I really have no idea what I would be like as an NT. To me, that really seems like a sign that I don't have much desire to change the way that I am.

As Popeye the sailor would say, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."
 
I accepted it as soon as I was told and for about a year or so afterwards, I was totally cool with it. I was also quite open and didn't care who knew.
But I started to look it up on the internet and after reading about symptoms I thought "this can't be me? There was a mistake" and I suddenly wasn't so cool with it. For a couple of years I went through this big denial where I hated even the mention of the word "aspergers", I hated the idea and denied that I have it (even though I tick all the right boxes). Then at around autumn 2008 I decided to do some research again, and all of a sudden it made sense again and I fully accepted it then. And I ended up having a special interest in ASD's from then until start of this year, I was glad when I lost interest though because I actually hated having that as an obsession after a bit.
 
I got diagnosed in July last year and I think I am still trying to get used to the idea that I have Aspergers, it certainly beats being told I have depression all the time.
The main problem is that there is little to no help where I live. I managed to get in touch with someone from an Aspergers charity but found they didn't answer my questions in as much detail as I would like. Seriously considering putting my questions on here, I've had more help from this site in one evening than I have from specialists in 6 months plus.
 
I was thrilled when I figured out I had it at age 44. Now I can look back over my life and fully understand why certain things happened. I'm just glad I wasn't formally diagnosed early in life because that may have kept me from adopting our daughter from China. They won't let people with anything they consider mental problems to adopt. Heck they won't even let people who are slightly overweight adopt.

I now have a more realistic view of my strengths and weaknesses and can better pick tasks I can accomplish and roles I can take on.
 
Absolutely. At first, it was a big ah ha moment but then it made me realize that having AS is pretty cool. I think it is fascinating. Its definitely a lot easier to accept it knowing I'm not the only one who has it.
 
I note this post is whoa some years ago, so without doubt, many things have taken place for you. I also am not in the habit of replying to many years ago, threads; too surreal for me, but here I am.

I discovered the word aspergers 5 or 6 years ago and echoed over and over on here, there was my twin lol. I guess you can see it as in savouring the word and seeing if it did really fit or I was making it fit. For there is no way I am visually autistic and subsequently, some I have taken courage and told, look at me in shock and thus, confirm I do not look autistic. I considered that since I do not have a monotone voice or blank look and am brilliant and reading people, that I must be on the very edge of aspergic, but lol that has changed. Embracing aspergers has helped me to get to know who I am. I have learned that being married to an nt, has taught me many things. My husband is very quick witted and excellent a dart like questions. Alas the wit has rubbed off on me, but I fail dismally from being put on the spot.

I am like a jigsaw puzzle and bounce off my husband as he is very much an nt. I ask him does he do that or that etc.

You made me want to stim in pleasure when you said that you know more about Aspergers than the "professional". If I may be permitted to suggest it is because they are dogged down with politics of psychology. On one hand told that aspergers does not exist, but they see clearly it does and so, lol they need a psychologist to help them understand :p

I have had dreadful experiences with those who should be helping and will not be told that there is nothing wrong with me; for them to turn the key or be in control of my emotions.

For the most part, I love being who I am.
 
I was diagnosed last year at the age of 40 and have come to terms with it because I finally found something that I actually felt like I fit the diagnosis. It was actually relieving to actually have something to call it. Plus with having it I can find resources of things to read and research to learn more about what is going on with me and what others have done. As well as working with my therapist to work on the things that help me to better my situation.
 
Being given the word after studying damn hard to finally try and understand my 'issues' and only ever feeling hard done by, i'm quite relieved over all as i'm not crazy like people assumed.

Well, I am but I now know why. I do feel cheated none the less, but so much easier to put my feelings into words knowing theres literature out there to help me understand.
 
No I haven't. I'm not sure I'll come to terms with it. I need help to deal with my ASD issues. I realise I'm quite seriously affected but there isn't any help in my area. I guess part of me is very angry at not having an earlier diagnosis and help.
 
For me, I don't think there was anything to come to terms with. I'm struggling to grasp how it affects me.

But, I'll always remember the moment back in November 2014. Saw a specialist doctor to discuss the possibility of ADHD and hour into the first appointment being told I was probably on the autism spectrum. Woaw.

While waiting to be assessed for ASD, I started researching. It was a revelation to discover that it can be an autistic trait watching other people do that natural back and forth of social chat. It just doesn't come naturally to me. And I discovered the reason. Things were starting to make sense.
 
The problem for me is that I want to be like an NT, and engage in the things that they do. Unfortunately, I'm only too well aware that the outcome for me would probably be less than stellar.....
 
I'm happy to have my diagnosis as it explains so many things about me and brings my childhood and teens into sharp focus.
I now understand what was causing me so much distress and difficulty.

I am Aspie, Hear me roar ! :)
 
StephF said:
I'm happy to have my diagnosis as it explains so many things about me and brings my childhood and teens into sharp focus.
I now understand what was causing me so much distress and difficulty.

I am Aspie, Hear me roar ! :)
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It helped me understand as well. It brought things in my childhood into painfully sharp focus.
 
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