Had another run in with my (un)friendly local bully today.

[Poppy98]

She tried to intimidate me by rushing at me and putting her [chest] on mine and her lips on mine while she was screaming threats at me.

I appreciate whoever said something earlier. Idk if it was a joke, but I appreciated the phrasing and it made me laugh.

 

[Tired]

I dont understand. Is some woman sexually harassing you by forcefully kissing you? What is she yelling?

 

[Poppy98]

I dont understand. Is some woman sexually harassing you by forcefully kissing you? What is she yelling?

She was threatening me because I don't act as her servant. The chest contact was because she was rushing at me and probably thought I would step back or wanted to get me to push her off. Idk if I did or not.

I think she was just doing it to be threatening but she did not need to have her lips on mine. Ew!
(Edit to clarify: she was threatening bodily harm of extreme levels, death, etc.)

 

[Outdated]

She tried to intimidate me by rushing at me....

I grew up in a rough neighbourhood where things often turned bad far faster than most people are able to think. To me that action would be considered a very real threat to life and my response would have been immediate and without thought or planning. My response would be exactly the same if a wild animal was attacking me - if you don't fight you lose. Eat or be eaten.

I think she was just doing it to be threatening....

No. Very bad judgement call. This person is a violent sociopath and the situation will never end by itself. She will escalate and escalate all the way up to and including murder unless stopped HARD.

In this instance I recommend you contact law enforcement. It'll take a few visits with you making statements for each visit, they'll treat it like a typical domestic violence case and there has to be a lot of information and complaining before they'll act.

 

[Poppy98]

In this instance I recommend you contact law enforcement.

Because standing up to her won't do a thing anyway?

 

[velociraptor]

she did not need to have her lips on mine

That is considered sexual assault where I live. Do you have a bodycam? If not, I would suggest purchasing one.

 

[Outdated]

Because standing up to her won't do a thing anyway?

The way you describe things doesn't sound at all like regular bullying, this is victimisation behind closed doors and a very different situation. When the threats start escalating they're working their way up to actual violence.

And in this case retaliation isn't going to work unless you can actually be the scariest monster in their entire universe.

 

[Outdated]

That is considered sexual assault where I live. Do you have a bodycam? If not, I would suggest purchasing one.

Or at least a discreet security camera, they're very cheap these days. And if it's in your own room and looking towards your door you're not breaking any privacy rules.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry about this. She invaded your personal body space. l like the fact that you didn't respond back. She was trying to illicit a response from you which would have ended badly for you. You didn't respond. Is she trying to get you fired? Is this the employee at work or someone different? I have run into many people who try to harass me but l know to stay calm and ignore. I am a petite female, and many men like to intimidate smaller older women. Glad you can talk about it here with no judgment. Outdated has some good advice.

 

[Outdated]

You didn't respond. Is she trying to get you fired? Is this the employee at work or someone different?

This is in her home, I gather a room rental in a shared house.

 

[Aspychata]

Then you could talk to the landlord, or whoever is in charge of the monthly lease, unless it's her, then it's an issue. You will have to think of something to throw her off, like laugh, tell her she is acting silly or immature. Tell her she seems upset. What's bothering her? Maybe Outdated has way better advice then this. l haven't encountered this before, but l know it can happen.

 

[Poppy98]

Then you could talk to the landlord, or whoever is in charge of the monthly lease, unless it's her, then it's an issue. You will have to think of something to throw her off, like laugh, tell her she is acting silly or immature. Tell her she seems upset. What's bothering her? Maybe Outdated has way better advice then this. l haven't encountered this before, but l know it can happen.

I did talk to the landlord, but they're close and that is causing problems. She really didn't care, but we shall see.

 

[Hypnalis]

It's time you prepare to do something about these people /sigh.

Why didn't you put your hands up in front of you to block the contact? Or step away?
Or use words?

Doormats get stepped on. That's just how the world works. Don't be a doormat.

If you want more effective techniques (**) I can describe some, but nothing will work if you aren't prepared to take action.

(**)
Verbal: You seem to be "on the back foot" at the moment, which makes this a little harder, but it's not difficult to state preferences. And "negative conditioning" can be learned.
Physical: Avoidance moves, not contact/fighting.

 

[Tired]

I did talk to the landlord, but they're close and that is causing problems. She really didn't care, but we shall see.

can you tell us how the talk with the landlord go? what did you say what what did they answer?

 

[Outdated]

Doormats get stepped on. That's just how the world works. Don't be a doormat.

Sadly she complicated the issue by being passive and submissive in the first place, once that starts it's almost impossible to stop. The psycho will never give up because Poppy has already proven that she'll cave in.

 

[Hypnalis]

Sadly she complicated the issue by being passive and submissive in the first place, once that starts it's almost impossible to stop. The psycho will never give up because Poppy has already proven that she'll cave in.

Indeed.

There's a way out OFC, but it's more difficult than reacting early would have been.

 

[Poppy98]

can you tell us how the talk with the landlord go? what did you say what what did they answer?

She told me off for mentioning that she's using prison gang tactics and kept excusing it away because it's easier to put me in a worse situation that stand up to someone like her.

 

[Judge]

Sadly she complicated the issue by being passive and submissive in the first place, once that starts it's almost impossible to stop. The psycho will never give up because Poppy has already proven that she'll cave in.

Yep. A predatory person in what appears to be a predatory environment.

In as much as moving is always a last resort, it may solve many issues as opposed to a few. That if you're dealing with those with a prison-culture mentality, you can't reason with them. For them, intimidating others amounts to a "sport".

Reminds me of one of two criminal groups my parents told me to always steer clear of at an early age. Subcultures best to remain distanced from in as much as is possible.

 

[JayLapointe]

Because standing up to her won't do a thing anyway?

Outdated is correct. Standing up to someone like that is liable to get you hurt. Sounds like she's doing enough that she could already face charges for threats and intimidation. I would contact your local police. At least have a talk and see where they think the situation is at.

 

[Judge]

I would contact your local police. At least have a talk and see where they think the situation is at.

I would agree, but only if the person's actions an demeanor are clearly their own as an individual, not tied to any criminal entities who make a point of retaliating against anyone who crosses them.

Being mindful that some such entities as a group often retaliate with extreme force as a matter of policy alone without any regard for the consequences of their actions.

Reminds me of a brief job employed as a delivery driver, when I was told I could be literally killed for just entering a certain well-publicized neighborhood for wearing the wrong color clothing. Have no idea if I was just lucky, or that they didn't care as I was a total outsider with no connections to their "hood".