(Content warning: mention of corporal punishment)
This occurred to me in another thread but I didn't want to derail that thread, so here's a new one:
As a child I was somewhat notorious for [being easily amused]. I clearly remember one incident where my mother put me in time out for some infraction, and when "time out" was over I refused to leave the "time out" corner because I had become so engrossed in tracing shapes in the wooden paneling that I sat there for a long time afterwards.
Looking back, I was almost impossible to punish. It's a good thing I was mostly a good kid because none of the standard punishments worked at all. Either they didn't matter to me, or they were traumatic. There was no in between.
As a teenager, my parents tried to ground me once or twice. The problem was, I never wanted to spend time with anyone anyway. I spent most of my time alone, in the woods, playing imagination games. I guess they could have made me stay in the house. But the once or twice a year I decided I wanted to socialize with one of my peers wasn't to be discouraged, so grounding was off the table.
I didn't like talking on the telephone, so taking that away was right out too. Never played video games or any of that...as an older teen I did spend time on the computer, I guess they could have taken that away, though I needed it for schoolwork, and once I wasn't allowed to watch my favorite TV show for a while, but I don't entirely remember why.
My dad of course resorted to the old American standby of corporal punishment but THAT didn't work either because I pretty much figured that, if he hit me and I responded by doing what he wanted me to do, that would teach him that hitting me is an acceptable way to get what he wanted. So I made it a point to do the exact opposite of what he wanted in order to avoid teaching him that lesson. (This was as a YOUNG child...lol too young to be generally thought of as well versed in behavioral psychology).
My mother, wisely, almost never resorted to corporal punishment because she realized it was a bad idea all around. But I actually behaved for her, pretty much all the time. I think because she treated me like a tiny adult, instead of like a child. She respected me, and I respected her, so there was no issue.
When it came to the "standard" punishments, though, that parents tend to rely on - none of them worked. I just...wasn't wired in a way that any of that mattered to me, or was effective. I was, however, generally a good kid who never got into any major trouble. I am wondering if this is a common neurodivergent experience or if this is just a "me" thing?
This occurred to me in another thread but I didn't want to derail that thread, so here's a new one:
As a child I was somewhat notorious for [being easily amused]. I clearly remember one incident where my mother put me in time out for some infraction, and when "time out" was over I refused to leave the "time out" corner because I had become so engrossed in tracing shapes in the wooden paneling that I sat there for a long time afterwards.
Looking back, I was almost impossible to punish. It's a good thing I was mostly a good kid because none of the standard punishments worked at all. Either they didn't matter to me, or they were traumatic. There was no in between.
As a teenager, my parents tried to ground me once or twice. The problem was, I never wanted to spend time with anyone anyway. I spent most of my time alone, in the woods, playing imagination games. I guess they could have made me stay in the house. But the once or twice a year I decided I wanted to socialize with one of my peers wasn't to be discouraged, so grounding was off the table.
I didn't like talking on the telephone, so taking that away was right out too. Never played video games or any of that...as an older teen I did spend time on the computer, I guess they could have taken that away, though I needed it for schoolwork, and once I wasn't allowed to watch my favorite TV show for a while, but I don't entirely remember why.
My dad of course resorted to the old American standby of corporal punishment but THAT didn't work either because I pretty much figured that, if he hit me and I responded by doing what he wanted me to do, that would teach him that hitting me is an acceptable way to get what he wanted. So I made it a point to do the exact opposite of what he wanted in order to avoid teaching him that lesson. (This was as a YOUNG child...lol too young to be generally thought of as well versed in behavioral psychology).
My mother, wisely, almost never resorted to corporal punishment because she realized it was a bad idea all around. But I actually behaved for her, pretty much all the time. I think because she treated me like a tiny adult, instead of like a child. She respected me, and I respected her, so there was no issue.
When it came to the "standard" punishments, though, that parents tend to rely on - none of them worked. I just...wasn't wired in a way that any of that mattered to me, or was effective. I was, however, generally a good kid who never got into any major trouble. I am wondering if this is a common neurodivergent experience or if this is just a "me" thing?