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Good words.

Tired

vegan NT
V.I.P Member
"The wild is an integral part of who we are as children. Without pausing to consider what or where or how, we gather herbs and flowers, old apples and rose hips, shiny pebbles and dead spiders, poems, tears and raindrops, putting each treasured thing into the cauldron of our souls. We stir our bucket of mud as if it were, every one, a bucket of chocolate cake to be mixed for the baking. Little witches, hag children, we dance our wildness, not afraid of not knowing. But there comes a time when the kiss of acceptance is delayed until the mud is washed from our knees, the chocolate from our faces. Putting down our wooden spoon with a new uncertainty, setting aside our magical wand, we learn another system of values based on familiarity, on avoiding threat and rejection. We are told it is all in the nature of growing up. But it isn't so. Walking forward and facing the shadows, stumbling on fears like litter in the alleyways of our minds, we can find the confidence again. We can let go of the clutter of our creative stagnation, abandoning the chaos of misplaced and outdated assumptions that have been our protection. Then beyond the half light and shadows, we can slip into the dark and find ourselves in a world where horizons stretch forever. Once more we can acknowledge a reality that is unlimited finding our true self, a wild spirit, free and eager to explore the extent of our potential, free to dance like fireflies, free to be the drum, free to love absolutely with every cell of our being, or lie in the grass watching stars and bats and dreams wander by. We can live inspired, stirring the darkness of the cauldron within our souls, the source, the womb temple of our true creativity, brilliant, untamed.” ― Emma Restall Orr, from Goodreads.

This text made me very moved today, because it hits the bullseye for the way I live(d) my life. Maybe it'll mean something for someone here as well.
 
I relate to some of it, but in a different way. Hard to describe really, and I certainly couldn't be so poetic.

Gathering things particularly reasonates. I did that a lot as a kid, and truth be told still do. I also am much attracted to nature. But (as an adult) rather then run free I more lean towards walking carefully, trying to be aware of all the little creatures and even plants. Even stepping on an ant can put me in a very ashamed place.
 
That’s the life that I’m trying to create for my son, but it’s sort of the opposite of the childhood that I had. Stress, bullies, fear. That’s the childhood I remember. No time for picking daisies when there’s yard work, homework, and laundry to be done!

I recently had a dream that I lived next to a large river. Tons of fish, green grass, and nothing but time to enjoy nature FOR FREE. Too bad that’s basically impossible today. Even if I could afford to buy some riverfront property, there would still be property taxes, insurance, and the fish would be too polluted to eat.

“Negative……party of 1……Negative……party of 1……..”
 

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