I don’t know what it takes but it might just take everything
No matter what I do, I don’t think people will ever accept me for who I am
I admit I want to become a god. I admit I want to be better than everybody. In my mind I am and I’m working on bigger things, total domination
it’s hard to average people to find the right connections, even harder for me
Ahhh, yes, remember that feeling well. My father had it, as well. After many years of developing some more knowledge, experience,...making mistakes,...I eventually gained some wisdom. Lately, it's developing the skills of perspective taking, analyzing context,...and understanding this concept of personal truths vs. say, mathematical truths. I also have a better understanding of the scientific process,...it's all about the context and methods,...the details behind the experiment,...as well as the statistical analysis. So, we have to be very specific about how we interpret data and not fall into the trap of making generalized statements based upon insufficient scientific facts.
Much can be explained under this large umbrella of the Dunning-Kruger phenomenon. With some topics you may fool yourself into thinking you are having "moments of clarity",...when in fact, you don't know what you don't know. I follow the work of Elon Musk and Tesla's journey through the process of learning about fully autonomous driving,..."In two years...", and then two years later,..."In two years..." so on and so forth, but very recently he had this epiphany that it isn't until they can develop "real world AI" that autonomy will not be achievable. I have 2 Tesla vehicles,...and yes, every few weeks a new software update is pushed to my vehicles,...and they are getting "smarter" and functionality is improving,...it's not autonomy or anywhere close. The Dunning-Kruger phenomenon affects the most intelligent of us.
Throw in the varying difficulties of "theory of mind" that many of us have,...even neurotypicals,...and you might not fully understand the "realities" of being someone else, their environment, the people around them, and so on.
Making those connections with people only seems natural to some, but for many of us, it is an intellectual exercise, a process,...and sometimes it isn't until you've left the conversation and let all of it process for a while that you may begin to understand the other person. In the moment, though, it may lead to misunderstandings and conflict.
Now, there are people who truly do not have the level of intellect to carry on an intelligent, meaningful, open conversation. If you believe in a "bell curve" of intelligence,...roughly 50% are going to be on the low end of that curve. If you are interacting with someone like this,...sure, you're likely going to walk away with either frustration,...or a superiority complex.
People not understanding the "neurodivergent"/"out-of-the-box" thinking of someone on the autism spectrum is quite common. I certainly have a lifetime of experience with this. In my private life, I am not a conformist,...and will put my money down and invest in things that are not the "norm". Professionally, I am somewhat alienated,...a resource and a mentor,...I set the bar for myself much higher than others,...am highly technical and detailed,...my co-workers, after 35+ years understand this,...and despite having good working relationships,...I don't have friends.
It's easy to allow yourself to have these "I am better than you" thoughts in this situation,...but be real careful with it, because chances are,...you don't know what you don't know yet,...and you might not be fully grasping another person's reality when interacting with them.
