grapesicles
Well-Known Member
Me too, my mind often just goes blank. Why should we have to justify it to anyone?
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Friends just don't seem to understand.
- Thread starter Spam
- Start date
Me too, my mind often just goes blank. Why should we have to justify it to anyone?
Spam
Well-Known Member
I personally just want to be understood. But you're right, we shouldn't have to justify ourselves.
My son who is the Aspie describes it as trying to be someone your not, or like wearing an invisible mask to appear as normal as he can pretend to be. Like being a character in a play just to try and be a part of society in some small way. It's what he used to do to try and manage to work a few hrs casual a week for 4 yrs. but then his ball of string started to unravel as we say. His invisile mask started to slip and people started to notice things about him changing. What they didn't realise was that they were starting to see the real him and the battles he had just to try to cope with people. Needless to say the job petered out and he had to just accept that things would never get any better for him and it was pointless banging his head against a brick wall in life to fit In.
So now he doesn't work anymore and is trying to find ways to enjoy life in some form on his own as people just don't understand. But hei is lucky that family understand his problems somewhat and accept that he is a little different. They forget that they shouldn't encourage his ideas because he will never manage to make thi gs happen.
For high functioning aspies, not many people believe them when they tell them of their condition, which is why In The end they give up on people. It's just too much hard work to try to keep any form of friendships because they are just not understood well enough. It's why family are so important to get on board to support and accompany our Aspie adult children to have some sort of life.
My son is lucky to have the family he does but it's been a very long 10 yrs since he was diagnosed. Acceptance seems to be the key!
So now he doesn't work anymore and is trying to find ways to enjoy life in some form on his own as people just don't understand. But hei is lucky that family understand his problems somewhat and accept that he is a little different. They forget that they shouldn't encourage his ideas because he will never manage to make thi gs happen.
For high functioning aspies, not many people believe them when they tell them of their condition, which is why In The end they give up on people. It's just too much hard work to try to keep any form of friendships because they are just not understood well enough. It's why family are so important to get on board to support and accompany our Aspie adult children to have some sort of life.
My son is lucky to have the family he does but it's been a very long 10 yrs since he was diagnosed. Acceptance seems to be the key!
Spam
Well-Known Member
Good on you, I was lucky enough to have the accepting parents that I do. I failed to wear any mask up until my middle school years. So my parents always knew something was up with me, something not normal. And even as grew to know how to "act" normal i still always slipped around them. To this day, I'm considered pretty odd to them, especially compared to my sister. It's nothing they consider bad, just... unique I guess. But seriously, kudos for being so understanding!
It might be self-defence reaction. They don't want to admit that they're friends with an autistic person. Because media has created this image of weird autistic kids and that's not cool. I think it takes time. Same thing is when your parents don't believe such thing right away. Everybody wants their children to be "normal".
My friends don´t believe me, because they think that autism is a disease. My mother believes me and thinks that she has got a part of autism, too, what I don´t believe. My father believes me, but he still doesn´t know what autism exactly is. He says that lots of autists get very nice work, but he becomes angry if I don´t do something, what he want, although I´m not able to do it.
icesyckel
Well-Known Member
I don't feel I need to "justify" myself to anyone. I do sometimes feel the need to explain myself to people who don't understand me. How else will they understand me? I am in the statistical minority, after all, and I might be the only person like me most people I know will ever meet.
It is tedious, though. That's why I choose to make every effort to blend in. It is less effort, in the aggregate, than trying to teach the majority about AS/ASD.
I don't think I'd make a concerted effort to explain myself unless it was to someone I consider "invested" in...like a friend or relative. Otherwise it's like, "What's the point?" Odds are they won't understand and likely don't care either way.
It takes a lot to explain this to much of anyone who doesn't have it.
It takes a lot to explain this to much of anyone who doesn't have it.
Spam
Well-Known Member
Well yes, I agree. I wouldn't go up to a coworker or aquaintence and be like... "hey, I'm sarah, I have aspergers." In fact I've told very few people and these are my immediate family and a couple friends whom I associate with on a day to day basis. And I decided right away it wasn't a need to know thing with people who would hardly care about me or my... "differences".
icesyckel
Well-Known Member
I would say that is wise.
dregj
Active Member
mr bond know exactly how your offspring feels.
I find my self less inclined to wear the mask anymore,why should i have to.it aint like it ever worked anyway
my friend used to ask why i "got weirder" when we were alone
i said its because i dont have to pretend with her
this did not comfort her at all
oh dear
I find my self less inclined to wear the mask anymore,why should i have to.it aint like it ever worked anyway
my friend used to ask why i "got weirder" when we were alone
i said its because i dont have to pretend with her
this did not comfort her at all
oh dear
I got my diagnosis this year.. 50 yrs old... Big challenge explaining what the difference is between spectrum and non spectrum. Best method so far.. comparing it to colour blindness.. They get one picture and I get another. And there's not a lot we can do about it. And no, they can't see the same picture that I do, and I've spent years learning to compensate for the fact that my picture is different. Then, sometimes we get the chance to talk about my picture of the world, and what's different.
