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MildredHubble

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I think it's just about physical strength, it was very common to hear that when I grew up. "Throw like a girl" and "fight like a girl". Boys were supposed to be strong and hard, with more muscle than the girls had. So not really about being bad at throwing, just less strong.
From my perspective, it was like "bullying inception". I felt ashamed that I wasn't enough of a boy and also not seen as enough of a girl that I was throwing perfectly within societies expectations. :rolleyes: So the insult hit me twice :-(
 

Outdated

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The silly thing is that if I'm hunting I can throw a stone with deadly accuracy. Throwing in a social way requires something I seem to lack. It's not the skill or strength that are lacking.
 

Forest Cat

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I DID have much more muscle, more muscle than most men. I was one fit little bastard.

We didn't have much choice before I think, someone would kick your butt if you couldn't defend yourself. Being strong was important for boys. When I was between 5 and 20 we guys were measuring strength all the time. Like bulls in spring. :)
 
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Outdated

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When I was between 5 and 20 we guys were measuring strength all the time. Like bulls in spring.
This wasn't true at all for me. I'm very nonconfrontational.

As a child all I ever did was try to run away. Once I got out of the school system it was an entirely different story. With a healthy ego and a solid body I had no need to ever back down before anyone. Very few tried for a show of strength, I don't like aggression or conflict so if it ever started I stopped it very quickly and with a sense of finality.
 

Forest Cat

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I think the “throw like a girl“ thing confuses me because throwing doesn’t seem like something that requires an inordinate amount of strength. It seems like something more based on precision and accuracy. In terms of comparing brute strength between males and females, sure, I would totally agree to the fact that males are stronger. So, society should just pick a different activity that would make more sense, and more accurately reflect the differences in gendered muscularity.

Of course, I am prone to overthinking things.

A guy in my class at school threw balls 40 yards further than anyone else. He was a freak of nature, just very strong for a 13 year old. He might not have been the most accurate but holy crap he threw hard and far.

I don't think it makes much sense to compare men and women when it comes to strength, we're just different. Of course there are many strong women but nature gave men more muscle mass and made us bigger. Probably for a reason.
 

Outdated

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gave men more muscle mass and made us bigger. Probably for a reason.
My grandfather said there was a reason but instead of telling me what it was he asked me to tell him. I got it right, it was so that we were better able to protect women and children.

Then he asked me "So what is a man that hurts women and children?".
 

Forest Cat

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This wasn't true at all for me. I'm very nonconfrontational.

As a child all I ever did was try to run away. Once I got out of the school system it was an entirely different story. With a healthy ego and a solid body I had no need to ever back down before anyone. Very few tried for a show of strength, I don't like aggression or conflict so if it ever started I stopped it very quickly and with a sense of finality.

I was nonconfrontational too, I did not want to fight or get into anything, I was quiet and wanted to be left alone. But I didn't have a choice. Guys tried to get me so I had to defend myself.
 
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Outdated

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I was 6'3" when I was 15, that helped a lot. :D
You bastard! I'm 5'8". Not many people realise this though, most people think I'm a lot bigger than I really am.

[Edit]

Interesting side note - I was never able to chat women up, but if I just sat there and smiled a lot many women chatted me up. For some strange reason it was always really tall women that were attracted to me, I've never had a girlfriend shorter than myself.
 
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Stuttermabolur

A psychologist said so
V.I.P Member
What about the way autistic beings process information?
Because I know I do this a lot different than everybody around me (I don't know autistic people outside this forum).
Thank you for the response. I was quite tired yesterday when I wrote my post and so wasn't thinking clearly. I felt like something was missing from my answer and this is definitely it. Processing things differently is I think the root cause behind all the other "abnormalities", including processing information in a social setting. I really do feel like processing information differently is something I have seen in pretty much all people on the spectrum. Interestingly, my running is pretty much the exact opposite of @Luca and you. I am very clumsy and awkward in my movement (I shake a lot when I attempt finer movements), but I can sprint really fast, and tend to sprint shorter distances, even inside, as I dislike time wasting and like going fast.

When it comes to communication, I feel like I can generally "follow the logic" of an autistic person (whether through the net or in person), but while I think non-autistic people think logically to various degrees, they also implement "leaps of logic" in their conversation. I notice those sometimes when listening in on conversations, where people will switch topics or make some assumption, but it seems like other participants in the conversation switch track with them, like they were expecting this. They notice the emotions, tone and background of the person and make assumptions about the conversation direction based on that. I don't think those "leaps of logic" are necessarily wrong, and in typical communication it probably makes total sense to them. Of course when they make "logical leaps" in conversation with me it can make me tense up or carry on as before, and conversely I can stay on the same track way past when most people would have moved on or "leapt".

I hope this also helps answer some of your considerations @Rodafina. I just want to add, that though I agree with @Duna's comments on the difference between internet and in person communication, I also feel like people on the spectrum are more likely to enjoy conversing through the internet precisely because it allows for more in depth discussions, and I see different communication styles even on other forums (no place I've been on has the amount of several paragraph long messages as this one). I also want to add that my opinion is "pop psychology" more than rigorously supported. It's mostly based on stuff I've noticed and snippets of info. Just two days before I also watched a resource @Ken recommended (a TEDx talk) where an autistic researcher discussed a "telephone"/"whisper game" with only non-autists, only autists and a mixed group. Both groups with one type of participants did significantly better than the mixed group, indicating that there is a difference of communication between them. However, like Duna mentioned, I think the communication difference ultimately stems from different sensory processing.
 

Duna

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Well I rember Volleyball when I was in high school. From seven girls, only two managed to actually play (I was one, hehe). The otjers behaved like the ball was a grenade or something like that. From the twelve boys, only two sucked completely - one was a lost case in anything sports related, even the theory part. The other had some back issues (born with a twisted spine or something).
So there's some truth to the "throw (and catch) like a girl"
 

Duna

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You bastard! I'm 5'8". Not many people realise this though, most people think I'm a lot bigger than I really am.
You wrote somewhere your legs are shorter than the rest - there's a German word for short or even normal-sized poeple who look taller while sitting: Sitzriese (sit-giant)
If that's your case you're not alone, otherwise there wouldn't be a word for such cases.
The opposite is Sitzzwerg BTW (sit-dwarf)
 

Outdated

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....I also feel like people on the spectrum are more likely to enjoy conversing through the internet precisely because it allows for more in depth discussions....
My preferred communication method is email for this very reason.

I can communicate very well with people in a face to face situation. In fact I can be a bit of a conman, I'm very good at this. Extremely good. What most people don't understand is just how much energy that takes, what it costs me.

Emails don't need to be answered straight away, I get to make a considered response instead of reacting "on the fly".
 

Thinx

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Interesting article, thanks for sharing. I will be interested in how these differences now noticed as unique to the autistic brains are understood and defined at some point. This perhaps also implies that diagnosis via brain scans is around the corner.

I am clumsy and poor at sports, including throwing, which I do like a person who doesn't throw well. I can't catch either, although I was even worse before getting my first pair of glasses in secondary school, aged 11. I'm not sure if I run in a normal way. How can you tell? I don't run very much though. But that could be normal too...
 

GypsyMoth

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I think it's just about physical strength, it was very common to hear that when I grew up. "Throw like a girl" and "fight like a girl". Boys were supposed to be strong and hard, with more muscle than the girls had. So not really about being bad at throwing, just less strong.
Hmmm.... I was a tom-boy, always outdoors, and could (& still can) navigate outside better than someone with a compass...err, these days, a gps. I don't think strength has anything to do with throwing. It has to do with intentionality and finesse--i.e., art. I can't throw a ball worth beans but give me a rock and I can nail a floating water bottle as well as any guy. There's an element of follow-through that perhaps most girls aren't taught (or mabe doesn't come naturally), or maybe there is a social expectation that girls don't--whatever it is that girls don't--that overrides their physical initiative. The only thing I held myself back from was finding a way to ride the neighbor's horses bareback without getting caught. Something about eminent harm and the danger of being banned from the fenceline seemed the greater cost...

I guess that is a strength then, having the follow through to do things most girls (ahem, women) find daring. It drives me nuts to hear, "oh, careful...!" I absolutely know my limitations, as well as my ability, and when in the field often do things others find risky or runs against their suburban grain.

Of course, this does comes with a cost & the charge of being bull-headed. But hey, if you know you're right, you're right. (Um, sometimes. With old age also comes doubt and fallibility.)
 

GypsyMoth

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I think the “throw like a girl“ thing confuses me because throwing doesn’t seem like something that requires an inordinate amount of strength. It seems like something more based on precision and accuracy. In terms of comparing brute strength between males and females, sure, I would totally agree to the fact that males are stronger. So, society should just pick a different activity that would make more sense, and more accurately reflect the differences in gendered muscularity.

Of course, I am prone to overthinking things.
Not at all. I discovered that the same muscle group you use to throw, you also use in casting a fly rod. Definitely more art than strength.

Sadly, my fly fishing days didn't last very long. Too much brush & a husband too afraid I'll get eaten by a snapping turtle. Well... there is also the 'what's that' phenomenon of wading into a muddy river clogged with debris. (Not a strength.)
 

GypsyMoth

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V.I.P Member
...By this I don't mean that I necessarily like everyone who is autistic, but I really feel like I can understand them, or get what they are trying to get across while I often can't for those not on the spectrum....
The lady training me for my job got all flustered today, "I just don't understand what you're saying!" I thought she was quite clear and articulate at that, so I smiled and tried very hard to sum it up with a quick sentence. Then as her reply moved us past the foible, encouraged her to keep moving past it. I like her--she's a nice person--but we've had a number of awkward impasses thus far & I don't want them to discolor her optimism of my ability to do the job I was hired to do. My other co-worker, I try not to talk with him at all. It always comes back at me most unpleasantly. He's a nice guy, but I'd rather he think of me in terms of the quality of my work than for something I've said.

It's not like that here.

Like you, I pass very easily as someone not neurodiverse.
Until recently, I thought I was quite normal. (I still do. I mean, I feel normal. I seem just like myself. How could there be anything not normal about me? After all, I've worked very, very hard at being normal--yeah, yeah, I know. Thought I'd share.) I work very hard at being perceived by my co-workers as just like them. Never mind that I have no idea what in the world they're talking about... It's distracting. I actually took my earplugs out today to listen in.
... However, I do often misunderstand things unintentionally and feel like people don't really get me, unless they are also on the spectrum. I feel a much closer connection with pretty much everyone on the forum, even people I wouldn't necessarily want to be friends with, than the vast majority of people outside of it.
What I wanted to say when I read your post was how unexpectedly easy it is to talk and be heard and to be responded to here in a way that makes not just a surface-level sense but a sense that connects with me quite deeply. It's very engaging. At times you all feel a bit closer to home than some of my own family.

Being our own self is a strength.
 

Duna

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V.I.P Member
Throwing/catch issue... Have an acquaintance who is parent to an ADD kid. That child is athletic, but sucks at ball games. The PE teacher said it's about focus. The child can focus on how high he has to jump when he has to jump, but unless he's the one with the ball, he loses interest in the whole game. Don't know how or if that info fits the topic here. But it made think of top-down/bottom-up processes and how there might be a difference between predictable actions (like "I want to write my name on a grain of rice") and situations that are not predictable ("There's abll coming at me and I don't know why")
 
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It’s that almost universal aspect that you bring up Stuttermabolur, because it just doesn’t seem possible. How is it that with almost every single person on this forum, I can get to the bottom of the story, but it really just feels like a different effing language with everyone else. Can the differences between us really be that stark?
I’ve only been here for one day, but I do notice the difference between the people here, and the people on Reddit for example.

For me personally, the difference is that an NT will inject emotion where it isn’t relevant, and take things personally when it isn’t (for example they will take something as a personal insult, then start a new argument with the purpose of making the other person apologize. When they realize they’re wrong, now they feel even worse, and rage harder out of humiliation.)

And when I talk to an NT, both in real life and on the internet, I must take these sensitivities into account, and craft my speech, and even then I may miss something and end up being dragged into a mud fight for the purpose of maintaining their face. It makes me feel like a nursery school teacher dealing with an angry toddler.

It’s the overwhelming weight of social status and appearances that bends all clear thinking and speech and makes them do this. The need to protect their ego, and the constant fear of humiliation and exile.
Even an anonymous throwaway account on Reddit will still have their petty status-preserving quibbles. It is fascinating, even, how desperate this need is.
 

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