Found out something that really hurt?

[BradT]

Apparently since I have aspergers which is an autistic trait, I'm unable to care for myself. My grandmother wants to set up something for me, because she fears I won't be able to hold a job in the future. This really offends me and while I appreciate the thought, it's like I'm not able to do anything on my own and make my own money.

 

[unperson]

Aw, what a nice thing for her to do. I would have liked that, but then I can see your point, it's like they write you off too early. May need it one day tho.

 

[Au Naturel]

Take the money and run. Money equals freedom here. It means you can pick and choose between jobs instead of being forced into the first thing that comes along to keep body and soul together. It could mean the ability to return to school for changing careers in midlife. It could be the ability to send your own children to college.

Being insulted by the offer is just ego and selfishness. Never disrespect love.

 

[BradT]

I love my grandmother deeply and I'm very appreciative. I think you all know what I mean when I say I'm kind of hurt that even some members of my own family don't think I can make it on my own. I've looked up careers for people with Aspergers and one of them is Accounting which is what I'm majoring in. I like Math and I think I'm good with numbers. I'm come to the realization now though I"m probably never going to be in a relationship, because NT women are "scared" of us for some reason, not really scared, but nervous to be around us. I'm not saying all NT women, but the majority of them, yes.

 

[Aspychata]

That is a great grandmother. Just think of it as a good thing. These days, its not about not being able to hold a job. The question is, can you even get a job? These are different times. l personally don't care for NT men. I like the quirky guy on the spectrum. But NT men try to hit on me, but l feel zero and l am bored completely.

 

[BradT]

I know what you mean, but I'm going through college trying to improve myself. I'm working really hard and my journey has not been easy throughout my life.

 

[BradT]

I finally understand now after all these years why women were nervous around me.

 

[Fino]

You don't need to get a career "for people with Aspergers." You're capable of getting any job. And there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to date.

 

[Jumpback]

I'm come to the realization now though I"m probably never going to be in a relationship, because NT women are "scared" of us for some reason, not really scared, but nervous to be around us. I'm not saying all NT women, but the majority of them, yes.

 

[Jumpback]

I love my grandmother deeply and I'm very appreciative. I think you all know what I mean when I say I'm kind of hurt that even some members of my own family don't think I can make it on my own. I've looked up careers for people with Aspergers and one of them is Accounting which is what I'm majoring in. I like Math and I think I'm good with numbers. I'm come to the realization now though I"m probably never going to be in a relationship, because NT women are "scared" of us for some reason, not really scared, but nervous to be around us. I'm not saying all NT women, but the majority of them, yes.

If you really are good at accounting and are able to focus on it , this an incredibly in demand ability. I have finance and real estate degrees and entry level jobs have seemed to want to force me into low level accounting, which I can’t do since accounting classes were the most not fun of all my college classes, so I have done nothing with my degrees. But if you can just do accounting, someone will hire you somewhere

As for how women treat men who are perceived as strange and especially if they say the wrong things, rejection or friend zone is just a fact of life and it’s also a fact of life that it’s very difficult to mention this issue without being accused of something.

But if you can really can do accounting pretty well and get a good career, the used car salesman liars and manipulators become less interesting and you become more interesting.

As far as your grandmother goes, this is great, it means that if something goes wrong, you have something to fall back on. Like my advise is don’t look a gift horse in the mouth or something

 

[Giraffes]

You don't need to get a career "for people with Aspergers." You're capable of getting any job. And there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to date.

Agree this this quote, N/D people are well..... 'diverse' so a job that meet your needs is the 'right' job same for everyone, a job with a culture of communication/ social expectations would prehaps prove problematic however for some n/d individual one that is concerning, data, attention to detail, research, to name a couple may work, Unsure that N/T women are 'wary' of you prehaps just confused by your different way of being, judging about your difference or upset by your well not being them and they respond to situations, i had struggles in all romantic relationships with both N/T and N/D individuals, relationships are tricky for ALL people however i accept peoples ability to accept and not devalue 'difference' is a difficult dynamic, accept the offered financial support, do your best to develop your own sence of value and ignore negative comments from others, from personal experience very hard to do but little by little if you want to you can achieve this, only a small point but Aspergers is Autism not a trait as ASD is a scale of the triad of 'impairment' (hate that description) with other conditions prehaps attached/tagged on.

 

[menander]

You don't need to get a career "for people with Aspergers." You're capable of getting any job. And there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to date.

That is not true for us all. I have had many of the same issues as Brad. Over a long time. Almost 100 percent failures. We each must know ourselves. I wish I HAD known how inexorably restricting autism can be.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes. We are somewhat restricted with getting through things. I am working harder on rolling thru things. l had a bunch of male kitchen staff purposely invaded my space and l rolled with it. l reminded myself it was being done on purpose and l didn't react. But the first time it happened in another job, it was harder. l am becoming tougher as a person on the spectrum.

 

[Au Naturel]

You don't need to get a career "for people with Aspergers." You're capable of getting any job. And there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to date.

That's probably true for some people and definitely not true for others. There are many jobs I could have done but the social part killed me. Other jobs I got just on general intelligence but worked for years without a promotion. Advancement in a corporation often takes as much social skill as anything else.

While one may learn to mimic attractive behavior and appearance, getting past the first date requires genuine social skills. Since I consciously worked on my physical appearance, it got me a few one-night stands but not much in the way of lasting relationships. Most women are not interested in someone with Aspie traits unless they combine that with relative affluence.