• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

First to arive, first to leave?

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single Aspie RSD NEET
V.I.P Member
I used Google but got nothing. I am wondering is it normal for a Aspie to get to an event early less crowed then when it ends big crowd be the last to leave?

I am asking because I am finally attending an Church and starting to socialize. They are friendly but I remembered when I use to socialize I did the same thing a decade ago.
 
As a general rule, people on the spectrum don't like social gatherings - they prefer ones that they have some control over in either quantity of people, who is in attendance, or options to leave. Anything else is unsettling. There are of course some of us who LIKE socialising, but I don't think it's uncommon for us to want to leave as soon as we get tired. Socialising takes a lot of my own energy so I either avoid such events or make sure I can leave when I want to.
 
Last edited:
Getting somewhere early...yes, always! I like to be there first, get as cmfortable as possible and then watch others arrive. this way i feel more prepared or something...
I plan to stay as long as possible so Im not the first to leave, but try for third or fourth.
Bit i have at times gotten "stuck" in place, not able to make the move to leave. Like i dont want people to see me, if that makes sense?
 
I like to arrive early if I'm going solo. Which is super rare 'cause I need at least one person I trust very much to be with me at any social gathering. If I am with that one person who acts as my support for the night, then I can tolerate arriving later. I don't stay long at all, unless I am at an event that is sufficiently stimulating. For me, long means 3+ hours. In general, I try to do two hours.
 
Before I retired, I had to attend numerous social functions with crowds of people, often with alcohol being served. I dislike being around loud, inebriated people engaging in boring chitchat that is supposed to pass for "conversation". I did the same thing as you - arrived early and left early. That way, I could at least say I attended, see and be seen, shake a few hands, pretend to drink an alcoholic beverage, and go home to peace and quiet. There is nothing wrong with doing that.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I used Google but got nothing. I am wondering is it normal for a Aspie to get to an event early less crowed then when it ends big crowd be the last to leave?
Click to expand...

I suppose that depends on how you query a search engine. Had you posed the question "Is punctuality an autistic trait?", you might have gotten some interesting responses.

Though this is punctuality in general, not relative only to crowded events. But interestingly enough, it is considered an autistic trait. Though obviously not all Neurodiverse people are necessarily punctual, for which the same can be said about Neurotypicals.

Still, I found it interesting that there are numerous sources elaborating about autistic punctuality. And yes, in general I am consistently punctual. I cannot exist in chaos. And I've never been much of a fan of social events in general- crowded or otherwise.
 
Last edited:
Thought so. That is why I always leave the movie theater last when everyone leaves for example like I did on Friday night Passover Church service.

I also chatted with my Neurotypical cousin and he shocked me. He is married with two kids from his previous marriage and three step kids from his current marriage. I was surprised that even he and his friends have trouble taking to people. I said it is easy on TV and he said Hollywood makes it look easy as those are actors who get paid to talk. In real life it is difficult even for non Aspie's.

That is why I like the original classic Hawaii Five-0 from 1968-1980 because the social aspects seem more realistic and Married with Children 1987-1997 because they insult the social aspects.
 
Last edited:
Tony Ramirez said:
Thought so. That is why I always leave the movie theater last when everyone leaves for example like I did on Friday night Passover Church service.

I also chatted with my Neurotypical cousin and he shocked me. He is married with two kids from his previous marriage and three step kids from his current marriage. I was surprised that even he and his friends have trouble taking to people. I said it is easy on TV and he said Hollywood makes it look easy as those are actors who get paid to talk. In real life it is difficult even for non Aspie's.

That is why I like the original classic Hawaii Five-0 from 1968-1980 because the social aspects seem more realistic and Married with Children 1987-1997 because they insult the social aspects.
Click to expand...

Tony - I'm NT and please believe me when I tell you that NTs and NDs are far, far more alike than they are different. We share most things. Autism just adds another dimension to dealing with life which can be both good or bad. It's just different.
 
Usually arrive slightly early, socialize for a little while then I leave. Strangely, when I say goodbye other people use it as a reason to leave too.
 
Monachopia said:
As a general rule, people on the spectrum don't like social gatherings - they prefer ones that they have some control over in either quantity of people, who is in attendance, or options to leave. Anything else is unsettling.
Click to expand...

This reminds me of the horrors of elementary school. Imagine being in a classroom surrounded by 25 other kids, bright lights and not being able to leave the room for the next 2 to 2 and a half hours. Middle school on up wasn't so bad as we got a 5 minute break every hour between classes.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I used Google but got nothing. I am wondering is it normal for a Aspie to get to an event early less crowed then when it ends big crowd be the last to leave?

I am asking because I am finally attending an Church and starting to socialize. They are friendly but I remembered when I use to socialize I did the same thing a decade ago.
Click to expand...
I always try to be as punctual as I can, and correctly use commas, periods, colons, semicolons, and other marks.

Wait a second! Isn't this the grammar thread?
 
I think it's awesome that you found a church again. :-)

I would say that generally, I'm a first to arrive and first to leave kind of person.

However, I go into autistic camouflage mode sometimes, and when that happens, I become super social, stay till the end, then go home and cry. I can't say that I recommend it. :p I hope I see it coming next time so I can avoid it.
 
I don't like deadlines and appointed times in general.
But, when it has to be, I usually arrive as punctual as possible.
Not early, nor late.
I tend to wait for others to leave first in places like theatres and church.
Lessens the chance of someone stopping me for hugs and chit-chat, and it is just easier leaving when
the "herd" has cleared out of the way.
 
I'm always early and also one of the first to leave. Being around people, and just leaving the house is draining.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom