• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Financial incompetence?

Gamma V

Gamma V

Resident ROM Hacker
My stepdad decided to trust me with my Way2Go Debit Card, which is a Medicaid supplement paid out by the state that can be used for anything. I had $140 on the card when I got it, and spent about half on a small Christmas tree for my homemade ornaments, lights for the tree, a topper, some bead garland, and some photo frame ornaments. I spent about another $15 on a couple gifts for my mother and stepdad, and spent another $23 on myself.

Apparently, my parents depended on the card to help with their finances, and despite being happy with what I've received so far (Not everything has arrived yet), I feel a bit of remorse for buying it and actually now feel that I should give the card back to my stepdad to manage, essentially admitting that I am financially incompetent and allowing him to serve as a de facto conservator. This is causing a little bit of Autism Shame and even making me feel that I should hate Christmas.
 
I think deciding you're financially incompetent over this one occurrence is a bit of an overreaction. Maybe you could sit down with your stepdad instead, and ask him what you are and aren't allowed to use the card for.
 
You did some impulse buying at Christmas time. A mistake many shoppers make. But it's not a crime. Not to mention that I can't imagine anyone who is really financially incompetent who could bring up the possibility of assigning a de facto conservator.

Your remorse speaks volumes. I suspect the next time you use the card, you will be far more careful. Hang in there and enjoy the holidays.
 
Mom was telling me the same thing not too long ago. She said it was a learning experience, and I did learn some things. For example, I shouldn't always go with the first listing for a desirable item. I spent $19.99 on a string of 60 LED lights, only to later learn that other people were selling the exact same string for $10 less, bringing the price closer to what I spent for a string of 100 lights at my local Walmart last month. In addition, half the string didn't work the first time I plugged it in. If not for the spare bulbs included with the string, I wouldn't sent it back. I intend to send the seller some feedback mentioning the initial defect with the string and the fact that he/she overcharged.
 
I let my wife handle all my money for reasons like that, but that was only after years of wasting money. I saw the light one day and said "You know what? You hold my bank card". Since then I have actually been building up a savings. Others are correct though, don't judge yourself too harshly over one incident.
 
My wife has memory issues and lost track of her accounts very quickly. Now, I keep track of all the main accounts and she manages two smaller accounts for different purposes.
 
I typically get between $40 and $50 a month on the debit card as a Medicaid benefit from the state of Oklahoma. It's primarily meant to help with paying out-of-pocket medical expenses, but I rarely get sick. Most of my medical expenses are co-pays for doctor checkups and prescriptions, and those average around $5. The lights are LED, so hopefully, they'll last for several seasons.
 
Another thing you have to consider is that this particular holiday season is unprecedented in terms of sales and volume. And the fact that this peak season for retailers has been effectively stretched from before Thanksgiving to perhaps beyond even New Years Day. So much for "Black Friday".

Whether brick-and-mortar or online retail stores they're all making it very enticing for us to buy all kinds of things whether they are on our shopping lists or not. My card bills will be really nasty this year as well. ;)
 
Since the card is debit, I shouldn't have to worry about bills/debt since I can only use money I actually have. Just checking prices on things that I want, like music CDs, can be tempting. I was just looking at the prices on eBay for a couple CDs I once had that my sister borrowed (without my permission) and lost years ago. The prices, which would be within my current balance, were very enticing. I decided not to bite this time. I'm still waiting for another one I ordered that isn't offering an option to track the shipment. This one isn't even one I got for myself, but for my mother.
 
Gamma V said:
Since the card is debit, I shouldn't have to worry about bills/debt since I can only use money I actually have. Just checking prices on things that I want, like music CDs, can be tempting. I was just looking at the prices on eBay for a couple CDs I once had that my sister borrowed (without my permission) and lost years ago. The prices, which would be within my current balance, were very enticing. I decided not to bite this time. I'm still waiting for another one I ordered that isn't offering an option to track the shipment. This one isn't even one I got for myself, but for my mother.
Click to expand...

There ya go. You still have control. And competence. :)

Though because sales are so crazy this year, be aware that retail distribution and shipping may or may not be able to keep up with your purchases given such increases in sales numbers. Some things could arrive on time while others may be delayed.
 
Gamma V said:
This is causing a little bit of Autism Shame and even making me feel that I should hate Christmas.
Click to expand...

(Here he goes again...)

Don't feel Autism Shame. My time working in the financial industry has taught me that there are plenty of NTs who are financially incompetent.
 
I recently learned that my parents depend on what little money I get each month on the debit card for living expenses. To me, this doesn't seem like exploitation because I contribute to those expenses. I need to eat, and I use utilities like electricity and water.

All this has caused a bit of friction between my parents because they depended on that money and didn't even know that I would or knew how to shop online. Either way, I gave the debit card back to my stepdad. I still have a PayPal account linked to it so I CAN do online shopping, but I'm gonna discuss any future online purchases with him before going through.
 
My wife controls our finances and if something happens to her, I have a trustee set up to do the same. If left to my own devices, I will spend all my income on eating out for every meal and on my obsession(model trains). So, yes, I have to have assistance with finances.
 
@Gamma V
"My stepdad decided to trust me with my Way2Go Debit Card..."

Why?
What did he tell you when he handed it over?
Were you supposed to pay for mundane household items used by the entire family?
Were you supposed to guess what to do with it?
What instruction did he offer when he said, here's your card?
 
I think he intended for me to just use it to pay my copay at the doctor's office because I had an appointment that day. Other than that, he gave no instructions, but just gave me a rough estimate of how much was on the card.
 
It sounds like he wasn't at all clear about what he meant by giving you the use of your card.
 
I think he trusted me more than he probably should've. I was wanting a little tree for the living room ever since I started making a bunch of DIY ornaments.
 
I agree with the others who say that one incidence of impulse buying doesn't mean that you are financially incompetent.

I'm kind of obessed with money matters and keep very tight control over it - I worry all the time about having enough money or running out, and always pay the bills as soon as I receive them, always know exactly how much things cost, how much I have in the bank, how much I have earned and how much I have spent. I organise my shopping to have maximum gain and value for money. I rule it with an iron rod. But I also have a compulsion to buy new music albums, so I might spend as little as possible over the period of a month, then the compulsion to buy new music takes hold and I buy something like 10 CDs at once.

However, I don't owe money and don't spend what I haven't got.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom