FINALLY GOING TO GET TESTED FOR AUTISM, But.. I'm Worried...

[Bolletje]

The person I viewed myself as was a loser who can't do anything right. I figured that if I am autistic, then that explains why I have some of the issues I do now and it'll maybe prove to me that I'm not the mistake I think I am.

I just wanted to add to my earlier comment about getting therapy for your self-image. I’ve been struggling with depression since my early teens, because I felt like I was always awkward, weird, standing out, bumping into things, saying the wrong things, and so on. I blamed myself for standing out, because other people were fitting in, so obviously I was doing something wrong. I was almost 30 when I found out that I was on the spectrum. And while that explained why I had all that trouble in my life, it didn’t make the self-hatred go away. Because when you spend years hating yourself, that hatred becomes very much ingrained in your thoughts. You can’t let go of it that easily.

Which is why I think therapy, if you can afford it, would be a really wise call Best of luck!

 

[OlLiE]

i guess the idea is to get a diagnosis that allows for treatment or help

i'm not sure that you should be aiming for a specific diagnosis,
as long as the diagnosis helps you move forward

 

[vividiris]

I'm at the same point myself! Finally taking the risk of seeing a professional to talk about problems. My symptoms are quite different from yours, but I feel like we both have social anxiety. Since you are in college right now, this is the perfect opportunity to explore communicating with people. I never really talked to people in high school much, but was able to have a lot of great social experiences through student clubs in college. I never even thought of the possibility of ASD in college... I actually didn't even consider having any problems - until I broke, lol. I think it is awesome that you'll be able to get some closure. Hopefully everything goes well.

 

[Glytch]

If that's not Autism, I don't know what is.
Still, don't worry too much about it. I know, my saying such a thing is kinda pointless, because telling someone not to worry often has the opposite effect, but seriously. You'll be the same person no matter what the diagnosis is. You just may or may not have a new label.

 

[Mr Alligator]

I’ve had similar feelings - part way through the diagnosis process and wondering what happens if they don’t diagnose me...

Things are starting to make sense, so it would be bad for everything to be turned upside down again!

However, I’ve got this far through the process, so hopefully that’s a good sign.

Hope it all goes well.

 

[Propianotuner]

The person I viewed myself as was a loser who can't do anything right. I figured that if I am autistic, then that explains why I have some of the issues I do now and it'll maybe prove to me that I'm not the mistake I think I am.

You having autism isn't necessary, isn't what explains things in a way that you no longer have to think you're a loser who can't do anything right. The simple fact that it's fundamentally and profoundly wrong to think of yourself that way, as a loser who can't do anything right, is reason enough not to think that way.

You probably do have autism, so far as I can tell. But I hope you get more out of learning about autism than "maybe I'm not a loser" and more consequentially you can come to better understand the things you're struggling with, ask yourself what you want from life, and work towards the things you want.

Thanks, guys. My main reason is to find out why I'm suffering from sensitive hearing because when I found out it wasn't hyperacusis, I thought that maybe I'm just cursed. Then my mother kept saying 'autism', and I decided to look that up, especially cause she says that the sensitive hearing thing is psychological because I "tolerate my own noise", but I told her EVERYONE "tolerates their own noise" instead of other people's noise, especially when they have sensitive hearing.

Please, try to think along more constructive lines than "maybe I'm just cursed". It's a big, strange world and there are lots of potential reasons why things are the way they are, around you and within you.

But during the test, I will also ask the psychologist as well. I still see most autistic traits in myself now. I hope he does when I take the test..

The psychologist may not see things the same. And the psychologist may be right or wrong in that assessment. That's not going to change any of us accepting you, whether or not we can relate to you when it comes to this or that experience, and most importantly how you should think of yourself.

 

[Alis1998]

To be honest I can see why you want that answer but some symptons you called arent nessarly an autistic trait. I think you must not only focussed on the autism diagnoses, but also on other problematic diagnoses. There is nothing wrong with having something if you get to deal with it. It doesn't matter tho how long you will learn how to deal with it, rome wasn't build in one day either.

I can relate to some things in your post, in case autism tends to make a person more sensitive to getting depresions, eating disorders and other states of minds.
Around the age of 12 I started to develop an eating disorder wich lasted untill I was 16. During that time, I didn't cared so much about certain things. I was consindered close minded. So regarding that, please seek help if you have similair problems wich cause your mind to trick you into doing something bad. It will not only change yourself into someone that is getting a diffrent but postive state of mind but also someone who can better deal with situations. Do not give up on therapy, it doesn't help untill you put alot of effort and time into it. Also visit doctors to see if you have a hormonal inbalance, that will explain probably why you have a depresion.
Anyway, if you need somebody to talk, you can always message me.

 

[the_tortoise]

If you’re not labeled as autistic, you will still be the same person you were yesterday. I know this is not the answer you were looking for, but I want to say it anyway.

And your struggles will still be real and worthy of acknolwledgement and support, whether they are called "autism" or not.

 

[Propianotuner]

And your struggles will still be real and worthy of acknolwledgement and support, whether they are called "autism" or not.

This is exactly the kind of idea I'm hoping to convey as well.