• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

FINALLY GOING TO GET TESTED FOR AUTISM, But.. I'm Worried...

AuBurney Tuckerson

~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~
My test is on the 28th, so I will head there after my college class (I luckily only have one class on Fridays). I know where the place is now, but I will still use Maps just to be safe. One thing worries me: What if he says I'm not autistic? During the intake appointment, I told him the signs I had and still have, growing up. I even showed him the purple gloves an occupational therapist used to calm me down as a child by rubbing my arm with those gloves on. I threw in my sensitive hearing as the major problem. I can list all of my signs:

Lack of social skills/trouble with people

Shimming/Self Stimulation (Shaking my foot, rocking back and forth, biting/chewing things (especially like wood chips, cardboard, or paper that smell/taste good, but I got this product called a Chew Stixx to keep me from chewing and cracking my pen tops), sticking my fingers in my ears after a loud noise hurts me, bobbing or shaking my head.)

Sensory Processing Disorder: Sensitivity to Light, Touch, Taste, Smell, and ESPECIALLY Sound

Close-mindedness

Monotone/Robotic voice (I have a YouTube channel, so if you watch my videos, you'll hear my voice in the guinea Piggie videos)

Specific and Strict/Limited Interests

OCD (I always counted in almost everything I did, and almost everything I do with my right hand has to be equal to my left hand, so I became ambidextrous on purpose to make my hands equal.)

Anger Issues

Depression

Eye Contact Troubles (My mother always nagged me about this one and said that those who can't look people in the eye are weak or have low self esteem. I'M NOT WEAK OR SCARED OF ANYONE.)

Grin or Laugh at inappropriate times

A bit paranoid and anxious (I panic a lot when I get lost while driving, can't complete something important, or lose something important.)

No common sense what so ever

Meltdowns (Loud noises torture the HELL out of me, and it leads to me screaming, hitting whatever's hurting my ears, banging my head, growling or snapping at whoever's hurting my ears, and crying when I'm alone or in too much overstimulation. Earmuffs I got from online didn't work at all, proving my mother right. Other times, I may have a meltdown if I get lost, lose something, or get stranded and start to panic and get angry. I've been known to get angry and hit devices because of certain games.)

Always stressed out

Difficulty understanding jokes, expressions, or puns

Lack of balance and uncoordinated

Speech delay as a toddler (I went through speech therapy at a private place, and that's why I speak so intelligently now and that is also why we were turned down when my mother tried to get me tested for autism as a child)

Uncomfortable in shoes (the weirdness in me won't allow me to wear shoes while walking on certain floors that either have paper or gum getting stuck to my shoes *shudders*, and the feeling of it is ubbareable, but I'm fine barefoot)

Strict Routine and Schedule in EVRYTHING

I think that's all I can remember or think of to name for now.. I'm worried he may not find anything, and I'll never know why I have the issues I do or WHY I'M SUFFERING FROM SENSITIVE HEARING! Just thinking about the loud noises that torture me every day just makes me want to bang my head against a wall now! After days of torture, nothing would feel better than a concussion.. I have been suffering sensitive hearing for 5 years now.. All these audiologists and ENTs say my hearing is fine, and I don't have Hyperacusis lie I thought I did. If it's not autism or sensory processing disorder, then my other reason I could've gotten it is because I'm CURSED.. Everything always goes wrong in my life. If anything was to ever go right for me, I'd be a miraclre that'll get me to actually believe that God doesn't hate me. (For those of uoi who believe in God cause I know some people don't) The world has always been against me, and everything good that SEEMED to happen always has a catch to where it turns into something bad. If I'm not diagnosed as autistic, then I was right about just being a dumb loser who can't do anything right and annoys people (or weirds them out) wherever she goes...
 
If you’re not labeled as autistic, you will still be the same person you were yesterday. I know this is not the answer you were looking for, but I want to say it anyway.
 
What you describe sounds like autism and I could say personally that I think it likely to be your diagnosis. I am not a psychologist though, so mine and anybody else's opinions are just that - opinions. They are not a diagnosis.
Whatever the outcome I hope it brings you some sense of resolution.
 
Just make sure you are honest with your answers and just be yourself. I had the same fear because I was so certain and it was making my life made sense for the first time and was afraid of that being taken away. Just be you and the diagnosis should be there.
 
If you’re not labeled as autistic, you will still be the same person you were yesterday. I know this is not the answer you were looking for, but I want to say it anyway.
The person I viewed myself as was a loser who can't do anything right. I figured that if I am autistic, then that explains why I have some of the issues I do now and it'll maybe prove to me that I'm not the mistake I think I am.
 
Just make sure you are honest with your answers and just be yourself. I had the same fear because I was so certain and it was making my life made sense for the first time and was afraid of that being taken away. Just be you and the diagnosis should be there.
I felt the same way. I'm worried (NOT afraid, but concerned) that it'll take away the reason I am the way I am.
 
G
My test is on the 28th, so I will head there after my college class (I luckily only have one class on Fridays). I know where the place is now, but I will still use Maps just to be safe. One thing worries me: What if he says I'm not autistic? During the intake appointment, I told him the signs I had and still have, growing up. I even showed him the purple gloves an occupational therapist used to calm me down as a child by rubbing my arm with those gloves on. I threw in my sensitive hearing as the major problem. I can list all of my signs:

Lack of social skills/trouble with people

Shimming/Self Stimulation (Shaking my foot, rocking back and forth, biting/chewing things (especially like wood chips, cardboard, or paper that smell/taste good, but I got this product called a Chew Stixx to keep me from chewing and cracking my pen tops), sticking my fingers in my ears after a loud noise hurts me, bobbing or shaking my head.)

Sensory Processing Disorder: Sensitivity to Light, Touch, Taste, Smell, and ESPECIALLY Sound

Close-mindedness

Monotone/Robotic voice (I have a YouTube channel, so if you watch my videos, you'll hear my voice in the guinea Piggie videos)

Specific and Strict/Limited Interests

OCD (I always counted in almost everything I did, and almost everything I do with my right hand has to be equal to my left hand, so I became ambidextrous on purpose to make my hands equal.)

Anger Issues

Depression

Eye Contact Troubles (My mother always nagged me about this one and said that those who can't look people in the eye are weak or have low self esteem. I'M NOT WEAK OR SCARED OF ANYONE.)

Grin or Laugh at inappropriate times

A bit paranoid and anxious (I panic a lot when I get lost while driving, can't complete something important, or lose something important.)

No common sense what so ever

Meltdowns (Loud noises torture the HELL out of me, and it leads to me screaming, hitting whatever's hurting my ears, banging my head, growling or snapping at whoever's hurting my ears, and crying when I'm alone or in too much overstimulation. Earmuffs I got from online didn't work at all, proving my mother right. Other times, I may have a meltdown if I get lost, lose something, or get stranded and start to panic and get angry. I've been known to get angry and hit devices because of certain games.)

Always stressed out

Difficulty understanding jokes, expressions, or puns

Lack of balance and uncoordinated

Speech delay as a toddler (I went through speech therapy at a private place, and that's why I speak so intelligently now and that is also why we were turned down when my mother tried to get me tested for autism as a child)

Uncomfortable in shoes (the weirdness in me won't allow me to wear shoes while walking on certain floors that either have paper or gum getting stuck to my shoes *shudders*, and the feeling of it is ubbareable, but I'm fine barefoot)

Strict Routine and Schedule in EVRYTHING

I think that's all I can remember or think of to name for now.. I'm worried he may not find anything, and I'll never know why I have the issues I do or WHY I'M SUFFERING FROM SENSITIVE HEARING! Just thinking about the loud noises that torture me every day just makes me want to bang my head against a wall now! After days of torture, nothing would feel better than a concussion.. I have been suffering sensitive hearing for 5 years now.. All these audiologists and ENTs say my hearing is fine, and I don't have Hyperacusis lie I thought I did. If it's not autism or sensory processing disorder, then my other reason I could've gotten it is because I'm CURSED.. Everything always goes wrong in my life. If anything was to ever go right for me, I'd be a miraclre that'll get me to actually believe that God doesn't hate me. (For those of uoi who believe in God cause I know some people don't) The world has always been against me, and everything good that SEEMED to happen always has a catch to where it turns into something bad. If I'm not diagnosed as autistic, then I was right about just being a dumb loser who can't do anything right and annoys people (or weirds them out) wherever she goes...
G~d loves you you are obviously depressed
 
I never thought will they think im not, i was too stressed because i had barely any income .
whatever the diagnostician says it is ,concentrate on talking to God, you need help 24/7.
if you don't need help re diagnosis- what I mean is accommodations at work or studying just don't bother with a diagnosis.
 
The person I viewed myself as was a loser who can't do anything right. I figured that if I am autistic, then that explains why I have some of the issues I do now and it'll maybe prove to me that I'm not the mistake I think I am.
Well, I think your first order of business should be to get some therapy to work on your self-esteem and your depression, whether you turn out to be on the spectrum or not.
 
Well, I think your first order of business should be to get some therapy to work on your self-esteem and your depression, whether you turn out to be on the spectrum or not.
We were at first until my mother got a new job, and her work schedule prevented us from going to anymore appointments there, and this was before I could drive.
 
I get you!

It is frightening, because it is a sense of: do I really do these things? Or, am I subsconsiously mimicking how an autistic person behaves?

I do not have a montone voice and am a very aminated person, so those two go against me.

I should have see my psychiatrist yesterday to talk about autism, but I was too weak and had to cancel and now, another long wait.

I used to think it didn't matter to not have a diagnosis. Afterall, I know I have social phobia and chronic anxiety issues and do not need a confirmation on those, but as time goes on, the question comes up: am I or arn't I? And it is annoying me and suddenly I feel less confident about discussing aspergic traits, because after all, I am not professionally diagnosed and thus, I feel that I am stunting any sort of progress.
 
You are at a very important stage in your life journey. You don't have the exact answers you are looking for yet, but you will very soon. You are certainly further ahead than you were before in your self exploration process, and please feel proud of your bravery and tenacity to be at this point...about to be tested. Only strong brave people want to hear the truth about themselves via diagnosis. Hang in there;)
 
Thanks, guys. My main reason is to find out why I'm suffering from sensitive hearing because when I found out it wasn't hyperacusis, I thought that maybe I'm just cursed. Then my mother kept saying 'autism', and I decided to look that up, especially cause she says that the sensitive hearing thing is psychological because I "tolerate my own noise", but I told her EVERYONE "tolerates their own noise" instead of other people's noise, especially when they have sensitive hearing. When I found out what Autism was and Sensory Processing Disorder, I figured that if that's the case on my sensitive hearing, then maybe I'm not cursed. So we talked again, and she kept telling me that the sensitive to noise thing is psychological, and I said "That's sensory processing disorder. I looked it up, and it sometimes applies to autism. That could explain why I'm so sensitive to smell as well.", and she said okay. But during the test, I will also ask the psychologist as well. I still see most autistic traits in myself now. I hope he does when I take the test..
 
First off I want to say you are not a loser. But I think your experience parallels mine.

I've suffered from depression for a very long time. A lot of this came from my awkward social skills that made me feel withdrawn & disconnected from people. This had a pile on effect that I could see friends or peers getting girlfriends while I was quite alone for a long time. I didn't have any diagnoses or even know what autism is back then, so I had no answers & just assumed I was a loser & that people (especially women) didn't really like me. I had very, very few people I actually called "friends."

But fortunately for me I had some relationships with women & developed some friendships through my gaming hobby that reaffirmed that I am a valued & worthwhile human being able to contribute to the world. There are days where I feel being on the spectrum is a curse. But just today someone new I am dating told me I'm an amazing person. I feel some of the more positive aspects of being on the spectrum has helped me in that regard. And knowing where I am on the spectrum has helped me be a better person & understand my limitations. You could find that too.
 
First off I want to say you are not a loser. But I think your experience parallels mine.

I've suffered from depression for a very long time. A lot of this came from my awkward social skills that made me feel withdrawn & disconnected from people. This had a pile on effect that I could see friends or peers getting girlfriends while I was quite alone for a long time. I didn't have any diagnoses or even know what autism is back then, so I had no answers & just assumed I was a loser & that people (especially women) didn't really like me. I had very, very few people I actually called "friends."

But fortunately for me I had some relationships with women & developed some friendships through my gaming hobby that reaffirmed that I am a valued & worthwhile human being able to contribute to the world. There are days where I feel being on the spectrum is a curse. But just today someone new I am dating told me I'm an amazing person. I feel some of the more positive aspects of being on the spectrum has helped me in that regard. And knowing where I am on the spectrum has helped me be a better person & understand my limitations. You could find that too.
Thanks
 
If you do get labelled as Autistic, don't tell anybody at College other than people who NEED to know such as your teachers.

I wasn't diagnosed when I was at College but I still got bullied for being the second eldest on the course and having disabilities.
 
If you do get labelled as Autistic, don't tell anybody at College other than people who NEED to know such as your teachers.

I wasn't diagnosed when I was at College but I still got bullied for being the second eldest on the course and having disabilities.
Good call.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom