Feeling overwhelmed right now

[Suzanne]

Suzanne, As you know I don't have much time at all this week. I was on-line to order some pet food so checked emails & peeked here quick & saw this. Will write you more next week as soon as I can, but meanwhile wanted to post something quick here. I am so sorry that you were having such a bad & upsetting day. If crying helps & makes you feel better then let yourself cry. Any kind of home project or renovation is extremely stressful & upsetting for anyone. Even the most calm & balanced person would feel some stress, frustration & more during the process, so I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you right now. It is not a failing that it got to you. I wish your husband could be more patient & understanding because that would at least help a little, but he evidently feels his own stresses etc ... & can only give what he can on any given day.

Although you may be feeling more anxiety & stress over this - the fact that you know a couple who is interested & must care enough, to want to discuss what needs doing to see if they can help - that is good news. Try to not let that stress you more, but try to let go & find your inner peaceful self. It would be good (I think) if you were able to let them help you however they are able & willing. We all need help sometimes, & we all want to help sometimes when we can. Let them help lighten the load for you a little now if they can.

And try to keep remembering, renovations are extremely annoying & stressful ... for everyone! When it's all finished & behind you, you will have a fabulous living space that you'll be enjoying for a long time.

Virtual Hugs to you from me.

You are pretty amazing for an nt ll Tia Maria and I value very much your imput. I am feeling tons better and even doing a bit of work lol

 

[Suzanne]

He struggles with you being an Aspie just as you struggle with his NT ways. It is equal although it does not seem that way. The challenge is to help the other see through your eyes.
He sounds like a good man that accepts you. Perhaps you can help him to see that you want to be involved to make the change easier for you, but also to be a part of your home as it grows, and of your marriage. Let him know it is important to you. There is always something you can do no matter what your skill level.
You can do it.

I so agree with you! One thing I try not to do is to cause my aspieness to be more important than him being an nt; it does get difficult when he fails to understand a behavior pattern. Like what the heck and I have to ask for time out!

Indeed, today has been a productive day so far!

 

[Suzanne]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now, Suzanne. I have a very hard time with change that I do not instigate. I don't have any helpful advice because I'm single and struggle to navigate romantic partner relationships.

Oh believe me, you have helped me; just by responding is good enough for me lol in a round about way, I had no choice but "instigate" it unless I want to live in a pigsty but it is the feeling of not knowing what to do, but today has been great; feeling more in command.

 

[Wireless]

I don't have any useful advice...but, I hope your renovations are going okay and that you are better today.
Changes to the home are the hardest to deal with, I think.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I didn't cope well when my family moved. Granted, it was on the same property since they'd been building a house behind my home for several years, but when what was my home was gone, I never adjusted. Perhaps there is something you can focus on? I've moved several times after I married and what got me through a lot of the packing and transitioning was finding something to focus on and pour my energy into it until the event was over.