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Feeling like you dont belong

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by PokemonManiac, Mar 21, 2018.

  1. PokemonManiac

    PokemonManiac Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Have anyone of you ever been on a different aspergers forum and felt like people ignored you on purpose?

    I make threads on asperclick and no one replies (even the woman that created the forum feels unwelcomed there due to how some members are)
    I made a thread about a possible trait of ASD people read it but never replied, others get replies straight away when they make threads
    I feel i should even be there and i feel they look down on me

    Im just wondering also if anyone else has trouble fitting in with others with ASD?
     
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  2. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Hi, I have no experience of what you've described which will be due to me not belonging to any ASD/Aspie forums before, but I didn't want to read and run ...........

    Hopefully someone more helpful will come along.
     
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  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    In my own case I don't need an online community as a benchmark to measure how alienated I feel towards my own species. It's something that seems to be hard-wired into my brain since birth. Where it forces me to be more social as if it's completely against my nature. Online or offline.

    Though, it's true that encountering the possibility of cliques and all the chemistry that goes with it can potentially happen just about anywhere online regardless of neurological considerations. Made all the more complicated if you're the latest person to join. The proverbial "new guy". Though my personal observation is that such considerations seem minimal in this particular forum.

    Where your best bet is to just jump in and post, whether you get immediate feedback or not. Being especially mindful that there are no guarantees that people will jump in to comment, or just lurk. Considerations that make it worthwhile IMO not to take personally. Knowing that not all our posts will be responded to in great numbers or even at all. It happens to all of us on occasion.

    And that likely in time if people haven't responded to you at first, they will eventually. Hang in there. ;)
     
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  4. PokemonManiac

    PokemonManiac Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I forgot to mention im not actually a newbie on asperclick been there for a few years
    Thats why i feel insecure about it
     
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  5. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    It's always quite possible you were in an asperclique, but from the outside. I've observed it on other sites, though no I won't mention their names.

    It's the sort of vibe I don't think many people sense here...though it's all up to individual perception.
     
  6. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I think a lot of autistic people are cautious about commenting about anything! that's why a lot of people join this forum and never post anything !it's years of comments been taken the wrong way!
    you'll see it with certain subjects people just won't talk about it it's obviously too hard to cope with .
    I feel like that every day! but I know members on this forum I think I'm too aggressive! I just wasn't socialised the way some people were.
     
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  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Very true when you consider the disparity in numbers of those who post versus those who merely join. Lots of caution and for good reason given our daily lives in the NT world.
     
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  8. PokemonManiac

    PokemonManiac Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Judge - what do you mean from the outside? And what kind of vibe do you get from the site? I just feel sorry for the person who created the forum cause people on it make her feel unwelcomed

    Street wise - the kind of topic i created was nothing that people should find hard to cope with though
     
  9. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I think it depends on your level of mental illness if you're in crisis everything is upsetting ,I've had four days of panic attacks I could barely speak
     
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  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    When you're an official member, yet you still feel disconnected from what is happening. But then too sometimes it's just a matter of group chemistry. Where some will feel more comfortable while others will not.

    Most importantly here I just don't get a sense of overt cliques happening as I would in other online domains. Neither from the mods or the general members. That's a good thing.
     
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  11. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    One thing I've realised there are cliques anywhere if you don't agree with the majority then you're an outsider
     
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  12. PokemonManiac

    PokemonManiac Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Im trying not to go on a downward spiral
     
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  13. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    On some issues that's quite possible. But in general I don't see people drawing lines in the sand here either over things like religion, politics or nationality. That most of us coexist regardless of such differences given we all occupy a common place on the spectrum of autism and Neurodiversity. Though I suppose my perception may be different from others.
     
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  14. PokemonManiac

    PokemonManiac Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Judge - thank you for explaining i understand now yeah i guess it is jusg grouo chemistry :) im glad you dont feel like an outsider here
    I think leople are alright with me on here too
     
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  15. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    That could be a cultural thing from north east england, as well.

    An aggressive part of the world, when you're from there you forget other parts of the world arent the same.

    Speaking generally :
    I mean,if you like people - it is customary to insult them.
    Elsewhere - not the same
     
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  16. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I don't actually insult people I'm just very passionate intense and people don't like it .
     
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  17. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Let's just say that being here and interacting with others has helped to give me perspective over that nebulous feeling of being "on the outside looking in". That weird sense that we are aliens among our own species.

    Though here it's a more common thing to share rather than feel alone and alienated over. :)
     
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  18. 55853

    55853 Well-Known Member

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    I have seen this even though I don't have the politics & religion forum enabled, and I have noticed other "lines being drawn". The latter is one of the reasons I mainly lurk.
     
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  19. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Asperclick hasn't been very active for about a year now, so I think that this is the reason that people aren't answering your posts. I haven't been very active there for the past month or so because I was fed up with the constant arguing and bickering that was going on. I only really have time to be on one forum, so if I see that one is less active, I tend to spend more time in the other, and recently I've been spending more time here and less on Asperclick.

    Also, if you make threads about specific symptoms, then it's possible that not so many people will relate and have something to say, if they don't have those specific symptoms. I often don't reply to threads either here or on Asperclick for that reason - because I don't have that issue, or don't have experience, or can't relate to the topic because it isn't something that affects me, or it's not relevant to me - so I don't read all the threads. And on a forum with so few active members, you might not get very many replies. It doesn't mean that anybody is deliberately ignoring you or looking down at you - I'm sure that this isn't the case, you shouldn't read too much into it or take it personally.

    Edit: Why don't you make the same threads you made on Asperclick here? I'm sure that you will get a much better response.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2018
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  20. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    People will have arguments along such lines, that's no secret. Though in general I don't think it constantly permeates other unrelated issues and threads. Though it's all perception and one person's view of such things is no guarantee that others will share them.

    I should probably add though that my perception is based on being online for decades...and seeing the worst of most Internet forums which amount to online slaughterhouses IMO. And that this isn't one of them in comparison.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2018
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