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Featured Feeling hurt and deflated. Rjected for three retail jobs in the last week

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Frostee, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Well since you didn't ask you can't actually know that. They expect people to be anxious in interviews. Every interview I had the feedback started with "you were clearly very nervous but that's ok" followed up by valuable feedback. Including the jobs I have actually got! If you are not already, get therapy and meds for the anxiety.
     
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  2. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Just rejected for another retail job. :mad:

    Stockroom at Next! Didn’t know even get to Interview.
     
  3. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I do take medication for anxiety, I am however, suspicious now at the number of retail jobs I am being rejected for. I have now been rejected for 20 retail jobs, 20. Now come on.. that is highly, highly suspiscious.

    And really makes me question if they are not taking me on because of my degree.
     
  4. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Hmm, a couple of things about this.

    I have a bit of experience with this one. It was about a decade ago, but I had a holiday-only sort of job at one point. Selling calendars at the mall, at one of those kiosks.

    And here's the thing about it: It's a very mindless job. And a rather bad one.

    You may be getting rejected not because of who you are or what you act like, but because of what you ARENT. When I worked at that job, what they seemed to REALLY want is someone who would just go along with basically anything without arguement. In other words, someone who would follow the employer's every whim... and that of the customer. At the time, the only reason I took that job was due to family pressure, and the reason I got the job was not because I actually fit what they wanted, but simply due to my ability to tell any interviewer *exactly* what they wanted to hear... even if it was false. Otherwise I sure as heck wouldnt have done a job like that.

    Understand, retail jobs are NOT good things. They are legendary for being horrible. There's a million stories out there, on Youtube and other places, of bad retail experiences and bad companies. If you work retail, expect to be abused alot. Your employers wont care, and customers DEFINITELY wont care. If you want to get bullied alot and be miserable... work retail.

    Having worked retail myself before (back when I worked at all) I can indeed confirm that all of those things are true.

    In other words: You arent missing out on anything at all. Dont feel bad about being "rejected" for something that is inherently terrible. If you need a job, try.... absolutely any other freaking thing.
     
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  5. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I encountered such prejudice being in the job market having graduated from a university. However in as much as it angered me when I was rejected, it didn't stop me from rationalizing that they preferred someone less qualified with lower expectations of compensation- and higher ones regarding turnover.

    When an applicant is obviously overqualified for such a position, it's going to be assumed that they have no intention of remaining on that job for an extended amount of time. Though granted on occasion some employers will incorporate high turnover into some positions.

    In a really bad economy it took me about two years to land a job that more suited to my tastes requiring a degree. A job (insurance rating/underwriting) that I only learned about having undergone a formal job counseling program sponsored by a major university (UCB) in my area. This allowed me a skills assessment process and being given access to a "job library" which gave me insight into the job market I simply didn't have after graduating.
     
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  6. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    You and a million other poor saps who have useless degrees. You're in good company there, my friend.

    So now, have a good cry and then get off your pity pot and apply for jobs as a bin man or a cleaner.

    Your attitude that those jobs are sort of "beneath you" also needs to get flushed. I have worked as a cleaner, yes even a cleaner of toilets, when it comes to hard realities you TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET and BE GRATEFUL YOU GOT IT. The truth is, you are not too good to clean offices or hotels or pubs - you just think you are.
     
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  7. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Retail, especially at big supermarkets, and hospitality. Worst kinds of jobs I ever worked. Hospitality was much worse than retail though, so much so that I was happy to get a 15 minute break and some food during 10 hours shifts. Try to ask for a normal 30 min break and you get told off, informed that I'm not needed because there are many others for my place or sacked. Ugh.
     
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  8. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You have the wrong attitude. You say you can't change it which is not true. You can always become more confident and anxiety is definitely not a part of your personality. As suggested, do mock interviews, maybe at your university career services. Train speaking of your qualities before a camera and later watch yourself and find issues to work on. Train talking about things you can bring into the position and record yourself, again check for any issues. There much you can do. It may sound harsh but you just choose to stay in your comfort bubble. Get out, ask for feedback from all companies, carry yourself with straight back to subconsciously build your confidence and get to work. You won't get hired if you keep up the 'can't do it' attitude. Employers want people with confidence and initiative, even in retail or waiting. Your qualities are not fixed, you can always get better -but instead of improving your CV, you need to improve yourself.
     
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  9. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I'd much much rather be a cleaner than work in retail. Being a cleaner sounds kind of peaceful. I haven't done it, but I imagine you'd be left alone quite a bit. At the movie theater I worked at, you'd get assigned a job each shift and one of them was to clean the bathrooms and that was my favorite because it was the only one which didn't involve interacting with people.
     
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  10. Jason Bennett

    Jason Bennett Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately, people can detect our quirks, lack of eye contact, and general akwardness. If it's a people job you're looking for (I commend you for expanding you social horizon), you might have to accept at some point, that they company wants the most socially adept person for the job. Some people are bests with customers and some best with behind the scenes jobs. Just some thought, as I have learned the hard way that my autism does create some restrictions with certain types of jobs. I hope you find a job soon, and I'd recommend expanding your job search to other kinds of jobs.
     
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  11. VAW

    VAW Active Member

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    It is pretty hard getting a job these days. MY daughter was turned down so many times she was very depressed about it all. Finally it was pizza hut that hired her and she loved just making pizza's all day but the pay wasn't good, she worked there for a couple of years then finally took a few other jobs that she hated. Seemed once she broke the mold and got a job, she actually didn't have any trouble after that. She isn't' an Aspie but very shy and I think on the verge of being an aspie. However I had a big problem getting a job too when we first moved here, seemed the same as you said, they turned me down and hired someone else and I am thinking WHY? That person didn't seem qualified at all, I would have been a great asset for them, still no job! I am not shy or an Aspie and had a great resume but still no jobs came in.. It is depressing because you are wondering what the heck is wrong with me? Why won't anyone hire me? Seems the jobs I did get I wasn't looking for like my job now, I walked in and I knew the guy in there and he said we are looking for someone why don't you apply? I said no..I am not looking for work now, he said come on just apply, I said how many people have applied for this job? and he said maybe 12 already, I am thinking great...well I will apply I guess and they called me back on my way home and wanted me to start the next day. I didn't even want the job and it was kind of thrown in my lap...been there almost 5 years now. But don't give up, I am sure it isn't you....
     
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  12. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    I think appearance and personality are more important than qualifications, in actually getting hired. I have been declined for jobs on numerous occasions, but was told following one interview that my anxiety eliminated me from consideration for one job that I was extremely well qualified for. Knowing this both angered me and diminished my self confidence, and I ended up accepting a lower level position. So, Aspergers could be causing you problems. However, disclosing Aspergers can also cause you to not be considered.

    The only thing I can think of that might help is to try to find a career coach that has experience helping candidates with Aspergers to find employment. However, I have never used a coach, so I am not commenting based on experience. You have said nothing that would indicate to me that you are a “loser”; I wish you success in finding a job.
     
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  13. Pondering

    Pondering Well-Known Member

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    Ah, job searching. I can certainly empathize with you there, so let me start off by saying I'm sorry for what you're going through. I had a similar struggle myself for the first two or three years or so after graduating high school. I won't go too much in detail, but long story short - I applied for a number of retail stores that never got back to me. Countless applications. Two different callbacks. Two different interviews for two very different companies (not on the same day or week). Got hired for one.

    'This will be fine. There are lots of cashiers/sales floor employees/retail employees in the world. How hard can it be?'
    I thought to myself.

    I had about a week or two to train. Training was very fast, and I was expected to do quality work under a very short period of time, with very little room for error. I watched fellow co-workers hired around the same time frame master the job, even enjoy their job, and making it look effortless, while I was walking into work nearly as confused as I was on the first day of training. I did my best, but it was not enough; they let me go. (It really depends on the employer and the company - not all are like this, or so I hope; this is just my personal experience with retail. Not putting down retail by any means. Retail is a great job for the right person. I just wasn't the right person.)

    I learned valuable lessons from that experience:

    1) Retail is not for everyone. It is competitive. You are expected to fit in with your co-workers, you need to be able to solve simple and complex problems quickly, and you need to be able to easily connect with customers and coworkers alike. Good communication skills are not just an ideal - they are a must. Make sure you know exactly what you are applying for; really take the time to read the job description and make sure it's a good match for you, because otherwise it's taking a risk that you may get hired, but will be miserable in your new job position.

    2) If being on the autism spectrum is going to be an issue to your work performance, you need to let them know. Had my retail employer known why I was struggling, the employer may not have hired me in the first place, because they would have known I was the wrong fit for the job, and not the neurotypical I may have initially appeared to be. Either that, or they may have been more patient and understanding of my condition, and known to work around it.

    [Employers generally look at employees objectively (whoever is going to boost their company). If you have a bowl of soup, you're going to want a spoon, not a butter knife. And if you've got a piece of toast and some butter, you want a butter knife, not a spoon. If you apply for a metaphorical bowl of soup but you're a metaphorical butter knife, then of course you are going to be swapped with a metaphorical spoon. It's not to say that you're not good enough. It says your skill set is better suited to either another company, another employer, or another type of work. Find your butter and your toast, as it were]

    3) When considering the job application of a potential candidate, yes - employers are thinking about your job experience. But what they also really want to know is this: Is this a person I would want to work with every day?

    4) At a job interview, you could ask the interviewer if the company is willing to work with people with mental disabilities, or people on the autism spectrum. You don't have to specify that the person is you. I mean, you can - it's up to you. But it is a perfectly reasonable and valid question.

    Sometimes I feel like I have the social skills of a rock. I didn't do so well in retail, wasn't happy working it either. But the next job I interviewed for (dishwasher) - I told them about my Asperger's. Fortunately the interviewing hiring manager saw my potential and was willing to give me a chance (despite my limited experience at the time). And I'm pleased to say that the job is something that plays to my strengths, and I rarely have to speak to anyone; am currently still employed. Usually work independently. Most days fairly predictable.

    So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's possible that retail isn't the right fit for you, and if not, that's okay. Chances are, there is a field of work that actually needs someone with your potential and skill set. But yeah - went through a ton of rejection, so you're difinitely not alone in that respect.

    Have you looked into: Kennel Technician, Host/Hostess, Dishwashing, Bussing, Prep Cook, Baker, Pet Groomer, Florist's Assistant, Warehouse, Stocker, Dental Lab Technician, Dog Trainer, or the likes? Some of these jobs don't necessarily require schooling, are constantly in high demand, and allow for growth if you feel so inclined.

    Best of wishes on your job search.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019
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  14. AloneNotLonely

    AloneNotLonely Well-Known Member

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    You shouldn't think in matters of qualification. It's all about how you present it. When I was applying for jobs every employer said just how awesome my CV was. It wasn't. Despite being Autistic I was able to present myself very well, the only time I didn't get hired by applying for a job was when there was a really (and I mean really) beautiful girl at the interview waiting room as well. I'm charming when I want to be and all, but I can't compete with that.

    If you can't present yourself well, then it's going to be very rare for someone to look past that and hire you based on qualifications. So don't see it as bad that you don't get hired for positions that teenagers do. Also, in those kinds of jobs, not being a teenager actually hurts your chances. You are fighting an uphill battle, so don't get discouraged, improve your pitch, change your strategy. If you do it right you should be able to succeed.
     
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  15. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Eh, how is that suspicious? That's hardly a large number of jobs to be rejected for in the current job market. And there are probably hundreds of people applying for the same jobs and also being rejected, you're not special.

    Having a degree may be part of it, being over qualified can be a negative, but if that was the only thing you would not be getting interviews.

    No need for disdain over bin man and cleaner jobs, bin men get paid really well and cleaning can actually be a great job if you enjoy freedom to choose you own hours etc. I worked as a cleaner for months after getting my MSc. Would rather do that than work in retail!
     
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  16. SolarPoweredNightOwl

    SolarPoweredNightOwl Walking contradiction

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    THIS. I mentioned in your other thread I think, employers have a (stupid) preference for people who are already employed. I made the mistake of being out of work for years, it was almost impossible to get back in. You got rejected for 20? Try 200.

    Yep. I even gave Frostee the name in the other thread--Unicru. These psychological tests are complete crap, you have to be extremely mentally unhealthy to score 100% answering truthfully. Google the answers, but DON'T regurgitate them in the interview, as you'll obviously be a phony (it's quite unlikely the interviewer looks at those tests). Remember, the entire purpose of those tests is so a computer somewhere can filter out and reject your application, before a human ever comes across it. That's why they force you to apply online most places--the people in charge of hiring don't want to do any more work than can be avoided.

    I can't speak for the UK, but in the US, unemployment numbers are complete nonsense, as they deliberately exclude large groups of people. Official opinion of the state of the economy in general is usually nonsense, as well, but I digress.

    Retail is garbage, corporate work in general is garbage unless you're higher up, job hunting is a numbers game, leave your ego at the door and try menial jobs, and don't give up. Entry level work is typically paid masochism anyway, you're just in the unpaid phase. If you can take punishment well, restaurants are pretty much always in need of people--try being a dishwasher or something, just expect hard, fast work and no mercy.

    Oh, and don't disclose being on the spectrum. That sort of thing can be used against you, and don't let anyone prattle on about anti-discrimination policies. If a company wants to force someone out, they usually can. Take it from someone who's survived numerous hostile work environments.
     
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  17. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everybody for your responses, you are so kind and helpful.

    I’ll read them soon. It can be quite exhausting going through this with our condition, I am constantly being misinterpreted.
     
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  18. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I think i’m going to have to do this to get a professional job. Employers have very high expectations that I cannot meet socially.

    I am an anxious person, that is my personality. They’re looking for a bubbly person.
     
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  19. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    Frostee, I am the same way. I deal with anxiety by being the best I can be, which is someone who rarely ever makes mistakes, who can solve problems no one else in my company can solve, who can outwork three other employees on my worst day. Two co-workers and my manager left for other jobs in April, and I accepted their work along with my work, and I now complete more work in less time than we did before. In short, obtain skills and make yourself indispensable.
     
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  20. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    This is the very best career advice for aspies and others who have trouble with office politics. Of course, to do this, you have to get your foot in the door first.
     
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