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Featured Feeling hurt and deflated. Rjected for three retail jobs in the last week

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Frostee, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I have tried really, really hard to get a retail job for Christmas. I am a very shy and reserved individual, so this took a lot out of me. I have also gone out of my comfort zone and applied for jobs that would impact my social anxiety, such as working on the tills etc.

    In the last week:

    - I was rejected for Next and Debenhams via a telephone interview.

    - I had a face to face interview in Sainsbury's yesterday. I have just received my rejection email. I put in so much effort into this, drove up, told them I could work any hours (nightshift), wore a suit, said I could start tomorrow and everything. I am really hurt and resentful at this rejection as it was my first interview and I consciously made a lot of effort to get the job. What's more is that my sister got a job in the nearby store as my cousin is a manager in it.

    To see 16/17 year olds getting jobs so easily makes me as a graduate feel like such a loser.To go into the job centre, months after graduation and to be looking for help is mortifying. I am feeling really hurt and deflated.

    I have applied for 100 + jobs and am constantly being rejected. I don't know what these companies want from me? I put in a lot of effort into the application process.

    I have redrafted my CV about 100 times, with support on that from my University. I seriously don't think that I can offer them anything else. I mean it is only a Christmas retail job, what more do they want?

    I hope that my Asperger's did not affect my chances of success.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    How about having your sister tell you about the next opening there? Rejection hurts at any age! l tried to help a older female who was rejected left and right despite her qualifications. Finally after a year, she was hired. I job searched for a year before l finally was hired. The first job is the hardest job to land.

    Maybe try volunteering, l did that and enjoyed it and was hired in a place that l was volunteering at. Good luck, stay motivated, talk to your sister. Ask her how she handles interviews. Your area could be overflowing with worker bees but not enough jobs. The job market is all about supply and demand. Keep pounding the pavement, learn from every interview you do, and call back places you went to.
     
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  3. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    Maybe it is how you present in interviews?

    Could you have someone do mock interviews with you and offer constructive criticism and advice about your answers and demeanor?

    Maybe there is job coaching available to you that could help? Perhaps the National Autistic Society could tell you if there are job coaching programs you qualify for?

    Could be it is just hard to find a job, too. I think pretty much everyone can expect to go through lots of rejection in the job search process unless maybe there is an extreme labor shortage.

    In any case I wish you luck!
     
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  4. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, it is disheartening when you see 16 year olds doing the job that I was rejected for.

    I suppose I might come across as shy and anxious. I can't do much about that though, that's my personality?
     
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  5. hatfullofrain

    hatfullofrain Active Member

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    Funnily enough I could never get retail or waiting jobs. I don't know why.

    Cleaning jobs were where I started. And then office work. I've never had a retail job.
     
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  6. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    I couldn’t say if that is the problem because I have never seen you interview nor even interacted with you in person and I don’t know what the potential employers are looking for. I am also not a good judge of how typical people perceive things.

    It could be the shy and anxious thing, if employers are looking for socially confident and outgoing people (for customer service roles they almost certainly are).

    This is partly why I suggest doing mock interviews, ideally with a job coach - that way you could get feedback on what exactly might be causing problems from someone who can actually see how you behave and hear what you say. (The other part is that it gives you practice which could help you improve on areas of weakness - and maybe would help you feel more confident as you improve?)

    Sometimes it is something that you could improve even if you are shy and anxious, like saying too much or too little in response to questions, or misunderstanding what kind of answer the interviewer wants. A job coach or even a friend or family member could help you script better answers and practice your scripts.

    Sometimes it is body language and you could practice consciously changing your body language to give a certain positive impression or to avoid giving a negative impression. A job coach or friend/family member could demonstrate body language things and give you feedback on how well you do them.

    If you are really uncomfortable interacting with people and it really shows and that’s just never going to change then I would advise you to just forget about jobs where you will be expected to work with the public all day.

    Think about what you are good at or confident you could become good at, and focus you efforts on looking for jobs that involve those things. Your chances are better that way, less fruitless effort.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
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  7. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    It seems they want the attractive teenager. I never seem to be what they’re looking for.
     
  8. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Have you followed up on the rejections by asking why they chose not to hire you, as was suggested to you in your other topic on this subject?
     
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  9. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I did ask for feedback from the Met Office, nobody else as I know it will be about my anxiety/presentation. Why do I not want to hear that? Because I can't really change it and it'll give me more anxiety going into a further interview.

    I don't know what I can really do to improve my prospects other than to try and be more bubbly at each interview. But i'm not going to lie..
     
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  10. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Most colleges in our area have placement centers and practice interviewing is one of the services they offer. Nowadays with so much tech everywhere, they may also film your mock interview so you can look at it afterwards and see things like too soft a tone of voice, an unwittingly arrogant attitude, poor eye contact, not smiling enough, limp handshake, etc.

    Frostee, stop saying "maybe they want the attractive teenager." I've seen your videos, you are quite attractive, so drop that worry. I am sure the issues lie somewhere besides visual attractiveness.

    It might be that for these entry-level positions, your competition are people who have had babysitting, lawnmowing, dogwalking jobs since age 10-15, slowly working up to more and more job history. Any employer would prefer to hire someone who held a job for three months in the summer during high school, worked during college, etc. It's not the EXPERIENCE they are looking at, it's the HISTORY (kept a job, didn't get fired, didn't walk off the job).

    Frostee, I do think you are genuinely downhearted. Get some mental health help. Therapy or antidepressants could make a huge difference for you. Almost everyone in these forums has had mental health problems and benefited from help, at one time and another. There is no shame in that.

    In the meantime, any chance you get some paid babysitting, lawnmowing, snow shoveling, or dogwalking among your neighbors and have a good job reference from it? How about ushering at your church, volunteering at a nursing home, or wrapping Christmas gifts for needy children?
     
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  11. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    To be honest, not to cut you down but for this specific job in Sainsburys past employment wasn't requested. They didn't even see my CV.

    To get to interview stage, you simply had to pass the Psychometric Tests. It was a a bit of a weird process.

    Moving forward if this is the people that I am competing against, how am I supposed to progress?
     
  12. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I read something about that recently. Google "employment test answer codes." Just as there is a whole industry helping employers efficiently screen employees, there is also a whole industry telling jobseekers how to outsmart the tests.

     
  13. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Are you kind, polite, smiling, grateful, and deferential?

    When I was sixteen, I didn't understand most things and went to the job interview in a polo shirt and jeans but still got the job. I've gotten every job I've interviewed for, and my current job I was offered without an interview. :D
     
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  14. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Dunno I prepared a lot for this interview. I had stock answers for the questions which did come up, so it’s a bit hurtful to be rejected considering the effort taken.

    The job market is not like that here. You have to fight to get anything.
     
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  15. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I don't know how much the job market has to do with it. I know plenty of people who have difficulty getting a job in the same way you do. They're typically on the grumpier side in general. If you don't seem genuinely happy to be there, you're done.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
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  16. AspieK

    AspieK New Member

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    Hi sorry I am new to forums so I don't 100% know how this works, but I just wanted to say that I am also very shy (although I am finding it a little easier as I get older), but for me personally I think I would find retail to be too much to handle, with all of the socializing with customers and staff along with florescent lighting etc. (that's just me though)...
    For me one of my favorite jobs was I worked at my local library for about 10 years when I first started working, and I personally think bookstores and libraries are really awesome places for many of us with ASD to get started in the workforce because they are a little quieter, and don't require too much social interaction, although you do need to talk to customers and tell them where things are etc. which keeps us working on social stuff without having to be bombarded from 9am-5pm everyday...
    I loved working in the quiet environment where I could largely choose when and how I did my tasks as long as they all got done, and where much of my job entailed putting books back where they belong (which yes can be tedious, but I personally loved it, and loved getting to look at books as they came in!). So if by chance you like books or being in quiet environments, I would highly recommend you at least ask your local library or a bookstore if they are hiring, maybe offering to volenteer for a month just to get your foot in the door if they are unsure about hiring you? I for one loved it, and it looks decent on a resume too!
    Good luck!
    Also if you are having trouble because of how you come across in an interview (as many of us do), what about putting together a little page of information about Aspergers and handing that in along with your resume to give them some context to any behaviors that might confuse them?
     
  17. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    l understand you AspieK but sadly revealing being on the spectrum isn't always a good idea in low level jobs unless your family owns the business.

    Even though retail isn't my first choice, it's easier to get that then other jobs. Most retail hires the aging American in the US is what demographics are currently showing. So l do apply and try to hang on. I now am going to interview for a boutique hotel next. But right now is peak season with employers saying just show up, we are hiring until season ends.
     
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  18. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I haven’t up until now. My mother yelled at me for not doing so but i’m not convinced it would make a difference.

    I did so with the Met Office and got rejected with feedback suggesting I make more eye contact.
     
  19. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

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    My suggestion would be to target jobs that you can see yourself doing without stressing over. Perhaps there is an Amazon facility or online ordering that you could do for a company that might be less stressful or social anxiety provoking? (Or atleast a different kind of stressful)
     
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  20. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I don’t know I just want to cry. I am running out of jobs to apply for here, soon i’ll be applying to be a bin man and a cleaner.

    I wish I had this insight before doing this degree.

    The British Government say unemployment is record low I would love to know how, there are no jobs and I am constantly rejected.