Feeling Frustrated

[Ben Dollery]

Hi everyone.

I joined this site last year and introduced myself, but haven't posted anything else since then. I often feel very frustrated with life and things in general. I often feel like I'm not intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about life, feel stupid & idiotic like I'm a complete idiot! I struggle to get motivated and interested in things in general and feel like I'm stupid, boring and simple and don't have a lot going for me. My favourite subject and interest is Cars/motorsport and I love seeing nice cars in general out and about every day on the road, it always makes me feel better, especially if they are ones I really like i.e. Fords. But I have problems accepting this and think that it's actually unhelpful, because I am obsessed, which I don't like even though I know I can't help it.

I also really enjoy listening to all sorts of different music, I like comedy & laughter and I've recently started getting into reading as well (Dick Francis books), but interestingly, none of these other interests i don't appear to have a problem with, like I do with cars. I've felt this way now for quite a while and these feelings come and go and the levels of intensity change, but it rarely goes away, not for very long anyway.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas as to what may be causing these thoughts & feelings. It's the first time I've posted anything like this on a forum, as I normally talk to my Mum or close family about these things, but she suggested that I try writing on here. I hope this makes sense.

 

[Alcyon]

Hi everyone.

I joined this site last year and introduced myself, but haven't posted anything else since then. I often feel very frustrated with life and things in general. I often feel like I'm not intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about life, feel stupid & idiotic like I'm a complete idiot! I struggle to get motivated and interested in things in general and feel like I'm stupid, boring and simple and don't have a lot going for me. My favourite subject and interest is Cars/motorsport and I love seeing nice cars in general out and about every day on the road, it always makes me feel better, especially if they are ones I really like i.e. Fords. But I have problems accepting this and think that it's actually unhelpful, because I am obsessed, which I don't like even though I know I can't help it.

I also really enjoy listening to all sorts of different music, I like comedy & laughter and I've recently started getting into reading as well (Dick Francis books), but interestingly, none of these other interests i don't appear to have a problem with, like I do with cars. I've felt this way now for quite a while and these feelings come and go and the levels of intensity change, but it rarely goes away, not for very long anyway.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas as to what may be causing these thoughts & feelings. It's the first time I've posted anything like this on a forum, as I normally talk to my Mum or close family about these things, but she suggested that I try writing on here. I hope this makes sense.

Ben, I don't know if I can help you figure out what's causing your thoughts and feelings, other than being a human being on the spectrum. I'm sure others will have more to say.

I did want to assure you that your post does make sense, and I hope you find some help here. I find it interesting to read other people describing their experiences and think "hey, that's me! That's how I feel!"

 

[clg114]

Hi everyone.

I joined this site last year and introduced myself, but haven't posted anything else since then. I often feel very frustrated with life and things in general. I often feel like I'm not intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about life, feel stupid & idiotic like I'm a complete idiot! I struggle to get motivated and interested in things in general and feel like I'm stupid, boring and simple and don't have a lot going for me. My favourite subject and interest is Cars/motorsport and I love seeing nice cars in general out and about every day on the road, it always makes me feel better, especially if they are ones I really like i.e. Fords. But I have problems accepting this and think that it's actually unhelpful, because I am obsessed, which I don't like even though I know I can't help it.

I also really enjoy listening to all sorts of different music, I like comedy & laughter and I've recently started getting into reading as well (Dick Francis books), but interestingly, none of these other interests i don't appear to have a problem with, like I do with cars. I've felt this way now for quite a while and these feelings come and go and the levels of intensity change, but it rarely goes away, not for very long anyway.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas as to what may be causing these thoughts & feelings. It's the first time I've posted anything like this on a forum, as I normally talk to my Mum or close family about these things, but she suggested that I try writing on here. I hope this makes sense.

I like cars too and I like fellow gearheads. You know, most of are obsessed with something, it just comes with the territory.

 

[toothless]

Hi everyone.

I joined this site last year and introduced myself, but haven't posted anything else since then. I often feel very frustrated with life and things in general. I often feel like I'm not intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about life, feel stupid & idiotic like I'm a complete idiot! I struggle to get motivated and interested in things in general and feel like I'm stupid, boring and simple and don't have a lot going for me. My favourite subject and interest is Cars/motorsport and I love seeing nice cars in general out and about every day on the road, it always makes me feel better, especially if they are ones I really like i.e. Fords. But I have problems accepting this and think that it's actually unhelpful, because I am obsessed, which I don't like even though I know I can't help it.

I also really enjoy listening to all sorts of different music, I like comedy & laughter and I've recently started getting into reading as well (Dick Francis books), but interestingly, none of these other interests i don't appear to have a problem with, like I do with cars. I've felt this way now for quite a while and these feelings come and go and the levels of intensity change, but it rarely goes away, not for very long anyway.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas as to what may be causing these thoughts & feelings. It's the first time I've posted anything like this on a forum, as I normally talk to my Mum or close family about these things, but she suggested that I try writing on here. I hope this makes sense.

hi ben,welcome back to AC you are doing the right thing for yourself posting as it will help offload your thoughts/feelings instead of keeping them in.

if you werent intellectual you wouldnt be self aware enough to say you feel 'stupid' or 'idiotic', i have mild intellectual disability and i dont feel any limitations to my intellectual capacity,i feel i can do anything and its always other people who tell me i cant when i struggle over and over to do something in my basic functioning skills or education wise.
you are definitely not limited,you sound like your knowledgeable in cars,you are just like my young adult HFA cousin and my aspie dad who are both car obsessives,my dad used to be a mechanic as a hobby.
you are autistic so your brain is naturally wired to being obsessive, i think itd be hard to get rid of that,itll always be there,your best bet is putting it to good use by doing something with it, for example voluntary work in a garage or at a motorsports track, or an actual paid job with cars.

i understand your frustration,like me,i think you might need to get more of the world in your life-do you like going on holidays? do you like going on visits to different places on a day/half day basis? it would help you to stop feeling so limited and bored, you clearly need more stimulation.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Guy, you're just like me. Apart from the interest in cars, everything you have written there is identical to my story. I have problem motivating myself in general for anything outside of my intense interests and this has been a source of frustration for my parents over the years and for me since I've been out of school. It's like everyone got this book on how to cope with adulthood and what to do and I got diddly squat.

For the longest time I get so caught up in my interests that everything else becomes a distant second and I'm unable to interact with anything other than my interests.

It's was only when I started medication was I able to partially break myself out of this routine. It's taken months to find other things that interest me and to build myself up to be a functional member of sociality - I'm still working on that. It has not been easy.

I'm still frustrated that it's taken me at least five years to break this habit and I know the future still isn't going to be easy for me.

 

[xudo]

I have difficulty with motivation too, always just put it down to me being kind of lazy, but I think maybe it's part of my Asperger's. I used to own a Ford (a Fiesta) it was a good car til it died on my 29th birthday in the middle of a car park

 

[Servelan]

I personally think that self-acceptance comes with time, and I think that we all (everybody, not just folks on the spectrum) go through stages when we are trying to find ourselves, define who we are. Since your Mum suggested you post on here, I wager you're still young enough to be going through one of those 'who am I' stages. Give yourself time to figure that out. If you explore your interest in cars (it is a legitimate 'guy thing', after all) you might find that after a while you have a way to organize that interest into something you can be an expert on.

 

[Grandmother B]

Hi everyone.

I joined this site last year and introduced myself, but haven't posted anything else since then. I often feel very frustrated with life and things in general. I often feel like I'm not intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about life, feel stupid & idiotic like I'm a complete idiot! I struggle to get motivated and interested in things in general and feel like I'm stupid, boring and simple and don't have a lot going for me. My favourite subject and interest is Cars/motorsport and I love seeing nice cars in general out and about every day on the road, it always makes me feel better, especially if they are ones I really like i.e. Fords. But I have problems accepting this and think that it's actually unhelpful, because I am obsessed, which I don't like even though I know I can't help it.

I also really enjoy listening to all sorts of different music, I like comedy & laughter and I've recently started getting into reading as well (Dick Francis books), but interestingly, none of these other interests i don't appear to have a problem with, like I do with cars. I've felt this way now for quite a while and these feelings come and go and the levels of intensity change, but it rarely goes away, not for very long anyway.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas as to what may be causing these thoughts & feelings. It's the first time I've posted anything like this on a forum, as I normally talk to my Mum or close family about these things, but she suggested that I try writing on here. I hope this makes sense.

Hi! You sound like you actually have several interests, with cars being the main one. Most Aspies (I have read) have a particular subject they are intensely interested in and knowledgeable about. You are being much too hard on yourself. There is a great website called www.aspergerexperts.com with all kinds of help from guys who have Asperger's and know what they are talking about because they have experienced it. They have lots of free videos and info and also some paid courses. Some of their explanations might make you see that you are not alone and how to get past some of your feelings. BTW I like Dick Francis books myself! Good luck and God bless...Grandmother B

 

[Ben Dollery]

Hi guys. Thank you for your responses, it's very helpful to me and much appreciated. I shall definately take the advice onboard. Interestingly, since I've been taking a medication called Sertraline, which helps with anxieties etc, I have been quite a bit better. These really bad moments that I was was having very often, don't happen quite so much now, so it's definately doing something to help me. I've been taking this once a day since last October and I have noticed a difference.

I also take something else called Phenergan, which helps me to sleep better at night, as sleeping properly has always been a problem for me. Does anyone else on here take either of these and if so does it help?