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Feel like running away again.

Starflowerpower87

Starflowerpower87

Well-Known Member
It might just be pms. But I feel very frustrated right now. I can't work because of my mental illness and all the side effects of my medications. So I'm stuck on independent living support. It feels like living in a group home in your own apartment because there is always someone there to baby sit you. But I'm grateful to have rides to places and help with paperwork at least. I have the urge to be free. I want to couch surf. Impossible though because I have incontinence issues. So I'm trapped being babysat almost every day. I wish I could be a wild and free hippy. I'm envious of free spirits. I feel so trapped. I'm not sure why I have the urge to run. Maybe it's because it's what I used to do when I was young. But it always made things worse. But I still want to do it. I can just picture packing a book bag full of essentials and then locking myself out of my apartment and then hitchhiking away somewhere. I felt fine all summer. Had fun. But spent a lot of money. Not sure how to catch up. Oh why do I feel like running away. Why am I overwhelmed with the simplest things.
 
I suspect social media might be triggering me. The comparisons to ‘free spirited people’, the persuading quotes. I should really take a break from social media. But for some reason I’ve been finding it hard to concentrate on other things, like books and movies. It could be because of the late summer days. Maybe come winter time I will calm down. These past two winters have been hard on me though for various reasons. I Remember wanting to run away a lot.
 
It is good to vent sometimes, and to write things out as a way to better understand.

I do not feel the urge to uproot my life anymore, although I used to years ago. It is good that folks are around to help you with things like rides and paperwork.

I agree that social media might be a problem, it definitely has a way of making people feel down or that they are missing out on something.
 
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