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Extremely confusing social interaction - What do you think?

Nacho

Nacho

Well-Known Member
Today I was @ university the whole afternoon, a thing I've been trying since this year I am trying to follow my parents instructions and go to class, unlike last year.

Today, I was resting from one class and I went to the university garden -which is, by the way, huge-. There's a lot of grass where people usually sit and talk -since Spanish weather is so nice, you can practically do this every month but Jan and Feb-.

I saw from afar three people I knew (2 girls, 1 boy) -they are not close to me, but they are friends with a close friend of mine. They know me from first year, when I was doing weird stuff and didn't even know about Aspergers, so I was pretending to be the nicest guy possible to everybody, which, as I said before, is exhausting-.
I smiled at them, because they also saw me, and they were kind of staring at me from afar, which is weird. I kept smiling and I started walking towards them, if they maybe wanted something from me or do the usual 'hello how have you been' stuff, in which I'm trying to improve in.

The weirdest thing happened: they kept staring at me and laughing, but walking away from me. What the hell? This kept going until I lost sight of them -they went too far away.
At first, I took this in a funny way, because one of the girls was trying to get it going with me last year; so I thought, maybe they are smiling because they saw me after such a long time. But, I don't know what to think of it, now it is really annoying me when I rethink it.

Were they laughing at me? Were they making fun of me? And if they were -which I wouldn't mind-, why would they be doing it so blatantly? That's the thing that really annoys me, and almost makes me angry.

What should I think about this?
 
Nacho
I can't answer any of your questions.
The scene puzzles me, too.
I read this to see if there were any clues.
It is pretty good, in general.
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/09/read-her-signs/all/1/

One thing I am not understanding is the geometry of the scene.
Wouldn't people who were staring have to be facing the person
they were staring at? How could they stare at you and also be
walking away?

How far away were they to begin with?
How close did you get to them?
Were they standing still when you first saw them? Or walking?

Sorry if I seem to be taking this too seriously.
I am trying to think about it as any other animal interaction.
To understand what happened.

It seems to me that there is too little evidence to make
a decision on the intentions of those people. If the same
thing happens again, that would give more to go on.

Maybe they aren't used to people being nice.
Maybe that was too novel for them.
Maybe they are...merely immature.
I don't know.
 
Wireless said:
They were being extremely childish and unkind. it's the sort of behaviour I see in four year olds.
Click to expand...
I understand that. But I really would like to see WHY do they do it.

It's funny that I am often called 'antisocial', 'blunt' and 'rude' and then these frking people have to come and make my PEACEFUL day a BAD day.
 
tree said:
Nacho
I can't answer any of your questions.
The scene puzzles me, too.
I read this to see if there were any clues.
It is pretty good, in general.
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/09/read-her-signs/all/1/

One thing I am not understanding is the geometry of the scene.
Wouldn't people who were staring have to be facing the person
they were staring at? How could they stare at you and also be
walking away?

How far away were they to begin with?
How close did you get to them?
Were they standing still when you first saw them? Or walking?

Sorry if I seem to be taking this too seriously.
I am trying to think about it as any other animal interaction.
To understand what happened.

It seems to me that there is too little evidence to make
a decision on the intentions of those people. If the same
thing happens again, that would give more to go on.

Maybe they aren't used to people being nice.
Maybe that was too novel for them.
Maybe they are...merely immature.
I don't know.
Click to expand...
They were staring while walking, they were walking away from me and turning their heads on my direction to do this strange 'ritual' of laughing about someone whilst walking...

They were about 30 meters. Not close enough to hear them, but close enough to see them.
I got about 10 meters away, a pretty short distance in the open. (Maybe 2 dolphin-lengths away)
They were walking when I first saw them.
 
Nacho said:
I understand that. But I really would like to see WHY do they do it.

It's funny that I am often called 'antisocial', 'blunt' and 'rude' and then these frking people have to come and make my PEACEFUL day a BAD day.
Click to expand...

Because people like that will pick on anyone they perceive to be different. To them different = someone who doesn't deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
There's nothing wrong with you, but a whole lot wrong with them.
 
Nacho said:
They were staring while walking, they were walking away from me and turning their heads on my direction to do this strange 'ritual' of laughing about someone whilst walking...

They were about 30 meters. Not close enough to hear them, but close enough to see them.
I got about 10 meters away, a pretty short distance in the open. (Maybe 2 dolphin-lengths away)
They were walking when I first saw them.
Click to expand...

OK. That places it better for me.
Gives me a picture of it.

They apparently were entertaining themselves
at your expense. They don't sound like people
who are worth seeking.
 
I agree with all the responses above, Nacho. They were indulging in teenage pack mentality. I doubt you'd see one of them do that alone... It was a joke for them, and it's likely they agreed to do it on the spur of the moment when you made eye contact with them. One of them would've thought of the idea then the others would be too weak to refuse. Just immature behaviour, unfortunately. One day they will each reflect on it with shame, but you will have left them far behind you.

There is potential for it to happen again...they might decide to turn it into a game for their entertainment. So make sure you don't give them the chance. I'd stay well away from them if they are together. Separately there shouldn't be a problem.
 
I had similar incidents as a teenager, I kept asking myself why. They are idiots and probably trying to get you paranoid or get you to react. It is them with the problem not you.
 
It is bad but best thing is to recognise they are trying to rile OP somehow and recognise this is childish behaviour on their part and nothing OP has done to instigate or deserve this. This is what I meant.
 
The mistake that we Aspergers make is assuming that neurotypical behavior is based on reason, logic, common sense, analysis, just like our behavior. There is no conscious reasoning in their lives. They have been taught since infancy that the universe consists exclusively of emotional reactions - fleeting, arbitrary, manipulative, dishonest, imaginary. Their world is tiny: it's social. They are not logical. Give up trying to find a "reason" behind neurotypical behavior. We're Aspergers: they are incapable of grasping that there are human beings who are not like them. So stop trying to understand people about whom there is "nothing" to understand. They most likely weren't smiling at you to start with.
 
Nacho said:
Today I was @ university the whole afternoon, a thing I've been trying since this year I am trying to follow my parents instructions and go to class, unlike last year.

Today, I was resting from one class and I went to the university garden -which is, by the way, huge-. There's a lot of grass where people usually sit and talk -since Spanish weather is so nice, you can practically do this every month but Jan and Feb-.

I saw from afar three people I knew (2 girls, 1 boy) -they are not close to me, but they are friends with a close friend of mine. They know me from first year, when I was doing weird stuff and didn't even know about Aspergers, so I was pretending to be the nicest guy possible to everybody, which, as I said before, is exhausting-.
I smiled at them, because they also saw me, and they were kind of staring at me from afar, which is weird. I kept smiling and I started walking towards them, if they maybe wanted something from me or do the usual 'hello how have you been' stuff, in which I'm trying to improve in.

The weirdest thing happened: they kept staring at me and laughing, but walking away from me. What the hell? This kept going until I lost sight of them -they went too far away.
At first, I took this in a funny way, because one of the girls was trying to get it going with me last year; so I thought, maybe they are smiling because they saw me after such a long time. But, I don't know what to think of it, now it is really annoying me when I rethink it.

Were they laughing at me? Were they making fun of me? And if they were -which I wouldn't mind-, why would they be doing it so blatantly? That's the thing that really annoys me, and almost makes me angry.

What should I think about this?
Click to expand...
I had this all my life.Dont let the basteads get you down.It seems that nurotypical people can see we are different from a mile off and think we are stupid or something.Dont bother with them they WILL hurt you.Find someone who likes you for what you are,and that is you are worth a thousand of these moronic sheep who go around in groups because they are too thick be be on their own.Remember you are a great person just diffent and that's special.
 
Phillip Cowdrey said:
I had this all my life.Dont let the basteads get you down.It seems that nurotypical people can see we are different from a mile off and think we are stupid or something.Dont bother with them they WILL hurt you.Find someone who likes you for what you are,and that is you are worth a thousand of these moronic sheep who go around in groups because they are too thick be be on their own.Remember you are a great person just diffent and that's special.
Click to expand...
Thank you a lot for the warm words
 
feel sorry for you, some things are just confusing, i have no idea about a lot of social situations but this is particularly confusing. hope you're doing okay.
 
I have had things like this happen, and the older I get, the more I say *#@ 'em! And they had better not try to directly impede or mess with me because I will definitely spoil it for them. Nevertheless, it is hurtful and bewildering when it happens, and we get all caught up in trying to "logic" it out. NTs are wired differently from us, and it is unfortunate that there are many who like to make people feel badly just for sport! I would simply ignore them from now on, whether in their little group or whether one on one. Don't let them see that they have upset you, or they will continue this behavior!
 
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