"Everyone's on the spectrum" (Angry face)

[superawesomeme]

So, this really annoys me. It's a throwaway comment that I'm sure people say to try and make you feel better but it actually winds me up and I find it quite derogatory... "Everyone's on the spectrum"

I appreciate that everyone, from time to time, does indeed struggle with the challenges and difficulties that affect people with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, however it's a bit like telling a man in a coma that everyone struggles to wake up sometimes.

There have even been articles in the press about this very topic http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...rience-key-symptoms-just-varying-degrees.html.

I just feel like they have absolutely no idea what the condition is, how it affects people and how demeaning it can appear to talk about it in that way.

I'm not expecting everyone to be an expert and I'm not underestimating how challenging a bout of social anxiety, depression or anything is for anyone but I do think the media in particular have misrepresented the Autistic Spectrum and what it means.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Not sure how others feel about it but it's been really winding me up since my diagnosis journey began. Almost to the point where I fear telling people about my condition so I don't have to listen to them disregard it like some kind of "man flu".

 

[WereBear]

It is this exact attitude that kept me from suspecting my own position on the Autism Spectrum.

I would mention a sensory issue, and it was "Oh, don't you hate those tags on clothes?" Yes, I do, but my extent is like a Saturn rocket compared to your sparkler.

And it minimizes what we go through as just another "day at the office."

 

[superawesomeme]

Yeah, my biggest challenges I would say are social interaction and anxiety. I have worked really hard to overcome them from not even being able to speak to a shop assistant to becoming a teacher and now having to communicate with 100s of people in one sitting.

People think I'm super confident and actually disregard my condition because they think I'm so capable, they don't realise how hard I'm pushing myself to do it and that it's effectively my equivalent of jumping out of a plane.

I guess I should take it as a compliment that people consider autism as "normal" but I would like them to appreciate the severity of our challenges sometimes.

(BTW - I don't want a medal or even a "well done", just not to have it disregarded as "oh everyone's on the spectrum")

 

[Suzanne]

Oh how I get you! It makes me want to hide away from other humans!

I get: who is normal? Oh we all get that! But you do not look autistic! All you have to do is try and push yourself a little harder!

And even if one's do accept it without those stupid comments, they still forget and I guess it is because I do not look "abnoramal" and then, when they see a trait, I get condemned for that action! I do not deliberately raise my voice; in fact, to me it sounds normal, but get: hush, Suzanne or be quiet and I feel soooo powerless and inferior!

 

[WereBear]

Such commenters never think of how hard did they have to work? Just to be "normal." The answer, of course, is not at all.

Imagine if, in order to make a living, they had to concentrate for hours and NOT socialize or go to loud concerts. And then get told "You are not trying hard enough."

 

[Dreadful Dante]

That basic concept of autism is that someone is unable to develop social behaviour instinctively (The other symptoms come as ramifications). How is everyone in the spectrum if they actually learn social skills just by exposing themselves to social stimuli?

"Everyone's on the spectrum" sounds like someone shy reading somewhere that people with autism have difficulty socialising and saying "OMG, I'm so autistic".

How much you're on the spectrum depends on how much of the social environment you're able to naturally perceive.

For instance, someone with servere autism can be trained to smile and when it happens, they mainly just show their teeth on command. (Yes, it sounds as cruel as it is).

Someone High-Functioning can be taught to perceive the stimuli, although they also need to learn how to respond accordingly. It's like social miopia (high-functioning) instead of social blindness (severe).

If I'm mistaken somewhere, let me know.

 

[WereBear]

That basic concept of autism is that someone is unable to develop social behaviour instinctively (The other symptoms come as ramifications). How is everyone in the spectrum if they actually learn social skills just by exposing themselves to social stimuli?

"Everyone's on the spectrum" sounds like someone shy reading somewhere that people with autism have difficulty socialising and saying "OMG, I'm so autistic".

How much you're on the spectrum depends on how much of the social environment you're able to naturally perceive.

For instance, someone with servere autism can be trained to smile and when it happens, they mainly just show their teeth on command. (Yes, it sounds as cruel as it is).

Someone High-Functioning can be taught to perceive the stimuli, although they also need to learn how to respond accordingly. It's like social miopia (high-functioning) instead of social blindness (severe).

If I'm mistaken somewhere, let me know.

You have taught me something very important! I think you have summed it up beautifully!

 

[garnetflower13]

I dislike that, too. I once in a physical therapy session and it was taking place in the middle of a large and noisy room with all kinds of things going on. I was getting pretty overwhelmed so I tried to explain to the therapist that I was having sensory overload, and she cheerfully replied, "Oh I get like that too, especially when I go to a game!"

Personally, I would rather undergo dental surgery without anesthesia than sit in a stadium at a game. And yet she thought she was making me feel better by saying that. If she gets "like that" why on earth would she even attend a game?

 

[WereBear]

Personally, I would rather undergo dental surgery without anesthesia than sit in a stadium at a game. And yet she thought she was making me feel better by saying that. If she gets "like that" why on earth would she even attend a game?

Her experience of being overloaded at a game is nothing like a sensory sensitive person. Five minutes in the parking lot and she's fine. While one of us might need a whole weekend to decompress from the same event.

That is the difference.

 

[Suzanne]

That basic concept of autism is that someone is unable to develop social behaviour instinctively (The other symptoms come as ramifications). How is everyone in the spectrum if they actually learn social skills just by exposing themselves to social stimuli?

"Everyone's on the spectrum" sounds like someone shy reading somewhere that people with autism have difficulty socialising and saying "OMG, I'm so autistic".

How much you're on the spectrum depends on how much of the social environment you're able to naturally perceive.

For instance, someone with servere autism can be trained to smile and when it happens, they mainly just show their teeth on command. (Yes, it sounds as cruel as it is).

Someone High-Functioning can be taught to perceive the stimuli, although they also need to learn how to respond accordingly. It's like social miopia (high-functioning) instead of social blindness (severe).

If I'm mistaken somewhere, let me know.

Mmm I would not call my severe, but I am not able to put on a mask in social gatherings.

 

[Likemathsbutnotnumbers..]

I'm glad to see this topic come up. Sorry to backtrack to the start of the thread but I also really hate the idea that "everyone's on the spectrum"-I was told this by the GP who I went back to after he'd first referred me as possibly bipolar. At the time I was kind of convinced I was bipolar, but then during the talk with the psychiatrist I first realised even if I did I probably wouldn't have got recognition from him(suicidal ideation apparently doesn't count as depression...) and by the time I went back to the other guy I'd remembered how obsessed I was with aspergers the year before and how it was what my friend had originally recognised in me. I tried to explain the difficulties my dad has with organising, problems my brother is having in relationships which show that there seems to be a pattern in my family, but he wouldn't even listen to the point where I started explaining my symptoms. Just shut me down with that one line.

Now I'm probably giving too much info here, but it just bothers me because after that I honestly thought that everyone gets pissed off at people whistling, birdsong, machines buzzing and the like. Which they clearly do not, otherwise at least we'd have fewer people whistling! So since that experience I can't decide whether sounds bother me to an atypical extent or not, which is troubling because unlike other people with more severe sensitivity I wouldn't say the sounds cause me to feel pain, I just zone out A LOT, and supermarkets make me feel completely overwhelmed. Is the description of the sensitivities as pain more common? Sometimes I find it painful like with construction noise and music I really hate, but I have very little experience of physical pain so I find it hard to compare.

I also find it irritating that, on a similar note, people sometimes make me feel like if I wasn't reading all about mental health, aspergers and the likes I wouldn't have these problems. I think there's a similar attitude behind it: we all have these problems, but you've decided to read about it and focus on it until it becomes worse for you and if you just stopped reading about it you could continue to be normal just like us. To me it's the combination of these two that now sticks in my head as a permanent reason why I should never ever tell anyone anything about this. I don't know, maybe I was hurt more because it wasn't until I was getting depressed and anxious that I thought I had a problem I should see a doctor about. Because only encountering the stigma when you're already feeling at your lowest is the worst.

 

[WereBear]

Show of hands: How many people have been told "You think too much"?

Geez, I thought that is what people are supposed to do! Are we homo sapiens sapiens or not!?!?!?

I am extremely grateful to everyone sharing their perspective and experiences because it helped me so much in figuring out who I should choose to formally make my diagnosis. Because my own serious illness is precisely because I was pressured into adapting so well. Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Too bad we are so blocked by social hurdles or we could band together and rule the world