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Featured Ever get in trouble for a facial expression?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Skeletor, Sep 12, 2020.

  1. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    My mother and other family members hated my frowns and eyerolls. They are by far my most common facial expressions and I don't get smiling for no reason. I've been told I have an extremely expressive face. Problem is I myself don't communicate that way at all. Faces and body language mean nothing to me, and I communicate in a straightforward verbal way. I say straightforward because I always truthfully say what I mean and mean what I say. I have read that neurotypicals communicate in a way that is about 80 percent non verbal. And that when they do talk it's not honest they never say what they mean and are always hunting for some hidden meaning.
     
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  2. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think a major difference between NT and ND communication is that NTs have agendas, where NDs don't. As far as I know the agendas of NTs are not intentional or 'false' or intending to mislead, but they seem automatic and normal to them. Whereas NDs usually don't seem to have these, are simple and direct.

    I do sometimes get told to Cheer up, when I am not sad, I am fairly expressionless at times, which may be read as sadness.
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    I have guys that scream at me to remove my mask in the kitchen. Somehow l can confuse them when l speak. Though causing mass confusion is rather amusing.☺☺☺ l have the DNA of a clown so l need to be careful.
     
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  4. Gerontius

    Gerontius Active Member

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    Yes, and yes. I also don't get smiling for no reason.
     
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  5. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    When I was a kid, I was always getting into trouble for frowning. I wasn't even aware that I was doing it, but people assumed I was doing it on purpose.
     
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  6. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    I used to get accused of lying by adults all the time as a child, because I couldn't make eye contact at all and I stutter when I talk. People also constantly think I'm angry/annoyed at them, presumably from my facial expressions. I don't often intentionally make angry/annoyed expressions, so that's irritating.
     
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  7. MrSpock

    MrSpock Live long and prosper

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    I suspect that this is a bit of a social problem for me now, but I can't be sure... so yeah, the whole non-verbal thing is a problem for me.

    Definitely got in trouble for this as a child. It was like a bonus punishment, I would get into trouble, then be in trouble for whatever facial expression I had while getting in trouble. Are children supposed to enjoy being in trouble? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?
     
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  8. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member

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    It's just my relaxed neutral face!
     
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  9. menander

    menander Well-Known Member

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    Yes. And to be fair, I cannot read others' expressions well so I have done my fair share of getting upset over a flicked eye brow etc. This is why people live with that ubiquitous and permanent smile. And that is more annoying than a flicked eyebrow.
     
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  10. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    As a child I was accused of lying, or being angry, or intimidating, or whatever, based on facial expressions.

    As an adult, not so much, because over the years I've gradually learned that if I can't fit in (and I really can't pass as neurotypical) I can be likable enough if I'm not threatening, so I have a "public face" that consists of this stupid beaming smile that I can't seem to take off when I'm in public, even if I feel like I'm dying inside.

    My problem though is that I have extremely vivid thoughts/feelings/daydreams that may or may not have anything to do with the situation at hand, and when I'm lost in thought, my face reacts to whatever it is that I'm thinking...I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked about facial expressions that I'm making, laughing, etc and I really don't want to explain what I was thinking about that brought it on. This goes back to childhood where there was at least one letter sent home to my parents (that I happened to see because my mom left it lying around, or pinned it to the refrigerator or something) about my "inappropriate" facial expressions.
     
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  11. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    I see it as lying is pretty much automatic and normal for neurotypicals. I know someone with clinical depression who also gets the cheer up line when she's not unhappy.
     
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  12. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    Same here.
     
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  13. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    sounds to me like you may have a mild form of schitzophrenia. I mean that in the best possible way.
     
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  14. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Schizophrenia doesn't start until adulthood, I've been like this my entire life.
     
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  15. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    The mayo clinic has a page on childhood schitzophrenia. I just couldn't figure out how to copy and paste.it.here.
     
  16. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I just found and read that actually. It doesn't sound like me, at least not now. I don't have delusions or hallucinations (I came *close* to delusions at one point, but they were honestly just maladaptive coping skills because I deep down didn't truly believe them.)

    I do have extremely strong visual spacial skills. This is difficult to explain to people without sounding crazy, but I don't hallucinate. I can, however, visualize just about anything, and often do. This is a mixed blessing - it's an incredibly useful skill that my career success depends on (so taking meds in an attempt to get rid of it would backfire horribly, if it worked) but it can also be problematic.
     
  17. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Very interesting. You should start a post on that ☺ Sounds like a excellent way to think of storylines with visuals. l am very visual and l am often repulsed by men who casually pick themselves out for me as *the one*. (Rolls eyes, blows a strawberry, rolls eyes again.)
     
  18. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member

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    They used to call autism 'childhood schizophrenia', iirc. You have to hear voices to have the Phrenia.
     
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  19. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    Scowling seems to run in the family.
    But as a kid, I was known for smiling, even at inappropriate times.
    Never know what my face is doing (or even should be doing) at things like funerals.
     
  20. Skeletor

    Skeletor Well-Known Member

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    Two other common habits of mine that annoy the frak out of neurotypicals are pacing and talking to myself. Both help me process things.
     
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