View attachment 37002 Personally, i am challenged with ( but not entirely lacking in) cognitive empathy. This means I'm pretty clueless about social cues, body language, facial expressions.
But, I've got loads of affective empathy. This means that once I do know how you feel, then I feel deep compassion.
Back to the social disability aspect of autism.... I'm lost as far as having a sense of how to correctly and appropriately communicate my compassion and support, especially personally, in realtime.
I actually misunderstood the cognitive empathy one, and it was your post that alerted me to it. I can't identify expressions, tone and the like, let alone use them to figure out their meaning. If I'm explained the situation, presented with the facts, then I can use my internal database and retrieve an analysis of the situation, and empathizing or not becomes very binary: already experienced something similar? Empathy. Haven't experienced it, nor can use a transversal situation? 404 Error, page 'empathy' not found.
That's the thing: that little act they put on, that social 'dramedy' of sorts makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm sure I could theoretically develop the skills to pretend; that is, if I thought it was right and necessary. I know it would have a purpose and serve some interests, such as acceptance, but I can't say I care about being accepted by people who can't live without that fakeness in their life. I prefer honesty and constructive opinions. It's one of the few times where I'm thinking they are the ones who are wrong, and why should I change and adapt to them when the world would be a simpler & better place if more people were like we are?'Showing appropriate concern' to me is what the NT world is about.
It doesnt mean they give two hoots. Its about showing they do.
Whereas i may give three hoots but don't express it in a way they will accept.
Partly because they may not want empathy (or help) but just some unthinking sop who says 'oh infeelmso bad for you etc' at the appropriate times.... so they can feel better about themselves for a bit ie when their self image that they have created for themselves is threatened you have tomfollow the rules...
'Oh, thats terrible' 'oh you're brilliant,you're not that bad' etc
Ding ding! Ten minutes is up, then its the other persons turn to do the same. Ie pretend they give a hoot, so they get a hoot back. Tit for tat, hoot for hoot.
Is it empathy? Is it just a fomalised form of ego rubbing that we don't adhere to?
Certainly we dont do that. Partly because its stupid,partly because we dont follow social rules too well.
My version 'shut up.stop complaining.go out and help somebody'
Works well for therapy but there's no repeat business. Would have to invent some kind of process to get people to come back...
Got it 'closure'
I'm not one to play games, and if I did want to play games, I would watch Jeopardy! and crush the contestants from the comfort of my couch. But social & mental games? That sends me in "Get outta my face with that NT bullcrap" mode.
Anybody else rejecting even the principle?